not that it's anything new. i'm so incredibly clumsy. if you ever had your physiotherapist tell you to not fall for a month, raise up your hands. *raises hands. both hands.*
with every fall, there's a new scar to speak of. then a friend asked me if i was going to be wearing pants more to hide the scars and wounds.
and i told her no. what are physical scars but just skin deep indication of healing?
i'm not one to worry about scars. in fact, i think scars give a person character. it could be frivolous ones like i have from falling.. it could be that huge ass one that francis has on his abs after being an idiotic hero for standing up for his friends. every scar has a story to tell.. big or small.
physical or not.
of course it's the phantom scars that speak the most. those that people will never know until you tell them about it.
everyone has a scar. and with its story to tell, i don't believe that a scar could be ugly. sure, it is an imperfection. but give me a perfectly imperfect man than one who jests at scars and never felt a wound. as Wallace Stegner said,
"Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom but to scar tissue and callus."
how very true. i would like to think that come the day i'm walking with my Lord in His house, He'll look at me and not see my world successes or failures but the scars upon my soul and heart. those that speak of the wounds healed by Him. all of them.
He'll never leave a wound open. it's not His character to not heal His children. and with each indication of a healed wound, i'm reminded of His goodness. of His love. telling me to not dwell on the wound but move on, looking back once in a while to learn from the scar tissue.
it's another reminder too. to not leave the wound open.
so often, He provides that scar tissue but we scoff at it. we think we are able to heal ourselves or with zealous romanticism in our heads, we embrace our wounds and forego a scar. but with that open wound, we never really move on. we never really heal.
He's healed too many of my wounds and left too many scars for me to ignore His existence. to ignore His calling to be His. to ignore His love. He took my biggest wound upon Himself and scarred Himself for me. that just as Thomas put his hands to the Lord's scars from the nails on the cross, may i also do that very thing and remember all that He's done.
and the fact that it's no longer a wound but a scar.. i need to remember why the scar happened and move on without turning back.
"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with."
- Harry Crews
help me help myself stop the self-inflicted hurting, Lord. give me my scars.
