ACJC Part 2 (Drops of Jupiter)

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tell me did u sail across the sun
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as cliche as it is, time really does fly when u're having most fun. perhaps that's why i'm going to be 21 already but i still cannot let go of my two years in JC. uni life is fun and i'm lovin' every part of it. but it seems like i look back to my jc days even more than my sec or pri days.
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did u make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
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after the 1st 3 mths, i got posted to YJC. thanks be to God and i returned to acjc. i didn't want to leave. i loved my friends and teachers too much to want to leave. ray was that ever loving "granddad". baojin's that sweetie who patted my head while i cried after being posted out of ac. ky was more certain than me that my appeal would be approved. lk told me not to worry, that i would surely return to ac. dom, yiling and coach called me constantly when i was in YJC.. mr how helped pull me back into ac. and mr yeo believed in me and went against the sch's system to fit me into a class doing 4 subjects even though i did not make the mark. after just that one week of highs and lows, i broke down, thanking God for all He had done for me... for the friendships in my sch mates.. for the encouragement in those same tutors who remembered me when i went back for my A level results.
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and that heaven is overrated
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then sa5 came into the picture. i think i mentioned once that we never were close until the end of 2001 where i got frus and organized a party with raj for the nov babies. the late night pool until 4 plus in the morning and finally dragging ourselves to raj's place to sleep. our many class outings to the pool and to the gym. we rarely met just solely for meals. we were the only crazy class still meeting for gym during the A level Chem papers. i remember some of my friends walking into the gym to talk to me, calling me "hardcore" and what-not. me being that sister and "leader" of the girls... to being the "brudder" of the guys.. the ultimate scandal creator capable of creating smoke without fire and of course, the sgt of the class.
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tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet
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we definitely had moments where we just sat and laughed.. esp with the girls. i adore my sisters and brothers to bits! sd and mich's run in with the wailers at the stairway, spoiling our image of the song "all or nothing" at all. the little crushes along the way that we sorted out together. even the time where i nearly killed the next rugby capt. i don't think he ever knew it but i seriously didn't know he was behind the gym door when i pushed it opened. and his idiotic friend only stared on in amusement, not stopping me. and i pushed it even harder when the door rebounded! i apologize again.
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did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
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post exam games, fun-o-rama, teacher's day.. just to name a few of the sig times we gathered to sit, laugh, talk and crap.. even assembly was not spared, whether on the track or in the hall. the times of eating the void deck.. all the sting rays, curry veg, chap chai peng, tau huay and the honeyed candy during chinese new year where we had almost everyone staring at us as we twirled the candy to our own amusement. i had friends complaining to me abt their own classes.. then wishing that they were in my class. and i never failed to thank God for being there for me as i worked through each chapter of my life story.
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and head back to the milky way
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friendships grew stronger... friends became crappier to my joy. i enjoyed life really.. it was super super fun.. all the crazy moments.. even breakfast during wed morning econs lecture. and lk scared me to bits during one of our conversations. he said he knew i liked someone in his class.. i didn't, naturally. but one of my friends did. for a second, i thought his class had thought wrongly! thank goodness sc cleared up everything for me, telling me that lk always did that.. but i do not deny that lk was someone who made me smile.
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and tell me, did venus blow your mind, was it everything you wanted to find
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all the meals together in the void deck.. assam stingray, curry veg, tau huay, beef horfun, mashed potatoes that made me high, yong tau foo and chee kueh.. our hysterical moments during econs lecture which we were sure annoyed chia to no end. she was always staring at my crazy class.. zhennan adored singing baywatch and ding dong bell.. then my very bad estimation of stuffing the whole wafer into my mouth. mich and i were red in the face and hiding from chia as we chortled inwardly. i swear, it felt like the whole lt was staring at both of us as we vibrated in our chairs with silent laughter.
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tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
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prom was one huge event for me... the class was so indecisive.. i ended up making the decision for everyone. it was like, "ok, you're going. call "so-and-so" and "so-and-so" and tell them that you're going so they have to go." but if i could go back, i wld change some things that night. i would have dressed up differently for the prom.. taken more photos with more ppl.. more film!! and would have not played "truth & truth" that night.. seriously.. i won't have played that game. the story game was enough for me... who knew that we, the talented few, cld come up with stories abt hairy naked fruits?
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one without a permanent scar
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even our little meetings after we graduated. honestly, i need to stop planning for them. it stresses me so.. will just sit back and wait for others to do it now... not that i'm lazy. but it's nice to just sit back once in a while and let others work their magic. just that i wish the recent acjc reunion was better.. that more of the sa5ivers had made it that evening. hoping for another reunion next year.. and i promise to have more fun next year.. but for now, alex, steve? thanks for this year's! once sang this during a dboat training session. "Once in our lives, 2 yrs of our time." and what an amazing 2 years it has been!!
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and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there.

ACJC Part 1 (Flip Fantasia)

Ladies and Gentlemen, as you know we have something special down here in Birdland this evening. a recording from Blue Note Records.
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all that and liong dragging his "hiyak". i seriously cldn't continue the dance when he first did that. "dicknesh" was more than amused, staring at liong as though he was mad. honestly, i had fun during orientation. i know of many who didn't. but i was feeling alone in acjc so i kinda forced myself to make friends. i knew i had to enjoy my orientation or regret it later. and i sure enjoyed it. the diamond hawkers. so many funny moments with them. us spitting on vik during a game, one of the guys and i running out during shoe hockey after vik asked the "drop dead gorgeous ppl" out. my fondest memory? j-ang and liong daring each other to chat this guy up in the bus before the girls stepped in and told that poor dude to excuse our crazy guy friends.
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jump to the jam boogie woogie jam slam
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then 1sg4 comes into pic along with the dragonboaters. i like to think of my class as the misfits. "valentino" rhys, "tubby/jukebox" melvin, "lumpy/coinslot" ivan, "no-balls" henry, "owen" yuda.. just to name a few.. and most imptly, "lian" lynn, "lao da"liang, and "shuwen" justin with me, xiao koon, in tow. i really enjoy the times together, be it chatting with our gp teacher, crapping with mr how (our econs and form tutor) while ignoring jess, ky and kel at the our door staring in, negotiating for longer recess with "lao shi" (he's the head of chinese!) and rhys and i trying to beat each other at handing up maths assignments (nerd alert!!). skipping phy lectures was smth we all looked forward to. jin and i found tiny thrills in sneaking sweets into our mouths and not getting caught while ppl around us were all swooped down by mdm koh. and as unbelievable as it sounds, we watched castaway as a gp thing, skipping maths lecture in the process. plus sg3 next to us were annoyed to bits by our constant knocking on the thin container wall between our classes.. they ended up replying.
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bust the dialect, i'm the man in command
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mr how has to be my fave tutor of all time in acjc. he made econs fun. even our "project" was enjoyable, my grp coming up with the concept of a bendy double decker bus. after our presentation, he asked for permission to bring it up during lecture. we all agreed naturally. sg6 was always trying to steal him from us as they had him as a tutor too. but we loved him too much to let him go over to them. muahaha. mr how didn't even make punishment feel like punishment. he teased and joked so much in the lecture, calling ky "yandao" and jess was "leonardo di caprio". steph told me that in one of his lectures with their grp, liong and another friend were trying to see who could look more constipated. and liong won naturally.. only thing was that mr how saw it. he even asked "why the boy with the red face looked constipated". and i really look up to mr how. he did so much for me.. helping me back into acjc after my screw up and remembering me on the day i went back for my a level results. i salute him.
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come flow with the sounds of the mighty mic master
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and oh, i was really determined to make friends too.. i didn't want to know popular ppl.. didn't want to hang with the cool crowd.. i just wanted friends. futsal gave me a chance. the dragonboaters had a stand and i helped out that morning. got to know a few more people better. then i was trying to get my p.e. teacher to buy fishballs from me.. then he made this other guy buy from me.. in the end, the teacher ended up buying for that guy and himself. that "guy" became somewhat of a friend. plus, he's such a brother. when he saw me later at the futsal, i tried to exchange my fishballs for the hotdogs that the soccer dudes were selling. hunger was getting to me. then he offered me a bite of his. later that morning, he offered me some of the noodles he had 'cos he knew i was hungry. schweet!! and from that day on, kong (alongside liong) became of the crappiest guys i knew in school whom i could count on for his cheeky grin to make me smile.
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rhyming with the mic, i'm bringing suckers to disaster
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the dragonboaters were a fun bunch too.. the snrs even more. ray was the one i called before i got my O level results back. i cried so hard and he didn't even panic, asking me to keep calm and to call him once i get my results. baojin consoled me after i was posted to YJC. yiling, dom and coach worked hard at getting me back into acjc, calling me so frequently during orientation, telling me not to lose hope.
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Bucoo ducks but i still rock Nike
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dragonboating is an incredible sport. to those who scoff at it, i tell u that it truly is a team sport. pulling your own wgt. look at basketball.. soccer.. it's kinda easy to be a one-man show if that person excels. but in the boat, u have to pull your own wgt or impose on others. and that doesn't happen. i got to be the front man once. it was tough. everyone looks to the front pair to set the timing. being the drummer during a comp is not easy too. i did that once for the mixed boat. shouted myself hoarse and wong was seriously splashing a lot of water at me.. training was dead tough.. the punishment was worse. dragonboating is one hell disciplined sport. all the other ccas seriously thought we were crazy with our hardcore training. who runs 10 times round the track, stopping at each quarter of each round to do push ups, followed by sit-ups, pull-ups then burpees? a lot of ppl were impressed. kong even gave me a "thumbs up" once. and super circuits. machiam like army like that. and the diet was strict!
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with the razzle dazzle, a star i might be
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but we have our fun times too! went to watch iron ladies together and we laughed so hard. even our "initiation" dinner was hilarious. allow us to get to know each other better and explore gan's huge pad. v-day was funny too. the jnr girls bought all the jnr guys hershey's cookies and cream while the guys got us beanie babies. the guy snrs tortured them.. made them pick out a girl to give the beanie baby to. and they had to ask the girl nicely too! i got wong and he was really obliging. "i think you're drop dead gorgeous. please accept this doll" if u were under the scrutiny of the crazy guy snrs, u wld say that too! ahahah..
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scribble drabble scrabble on the microphone i blabble
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whenever it was time to break-diet, we wld go nuts. on my first break-diet day, we all went for kfc and long johns. i swear, i never felt so sick before. puked it out. felt horrid after that. my stomach cld not take food that rich! i had gone off carbonated drinks and deep fried food by then. the next sch day, i felt much better.. settled for one prata (yesh, prata was forbidden too). my stomach was good.. hee hee.
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as i flip the funky words into a puzzle
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sadly, i had to quit dragonboating after my first year. i had a right shoulder injury which spread to my upper back. it wasn't funny. had to go to the physio once a fortnight (somehow always during chinese or econs lecture or econs tutorial after 1st 3 mths). at the same time, i had poor time mgt.. my grades dropped like hell and i barely made it through the promos. i knew i needed the time if i wanted to do well for my A's.
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yes yes yes on and on as i flex, get with the flow words manifest
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but it wasn't all peachy. i wasn't close to sa5 then.. closer to the dboaters. none of my classmates were dboaters too. there were a couple of times where i felt neither here nor there.. that there were times i felt awkward to join them so i wld just hang with some of my classmates.. but it felt superficial, like i was using them. guilt and confusion seriously killed me at those times. i guess.. it was one of the reasons that i quit too.. oh well, i don't really regret the path that i took at the end of the day. it might mean that i wldn't be here blogging away.
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feel the vibe from here to Asia
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lastly, the 74 gang.. crazy us.. lynn was the prez, clarinda was the vice-prez and i was the vice-vice-prez. it included chang, pigeon, mal, ky, rabbit, steph and sometimes, jude wld join us. jude.. he was kinda worried that i thought he was gay after he and ky were acting intimately.. it was hilarious really. heez.. i guess that's it for today.. shall continue part 2 tmr!
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Dip trip, Flip fantasia

MGS

4 years.. of actual growing up with lessons learnt along the way with pain and tears. my granny died in feb, 1997. i was torn. the only friend i knew then was renita but she wasn't in my class. it was lonely. and i had only accepted God just a wk ago. i cried... scolded God for taking her away. it just hurt so much because she was suffering from dementia then and could barely remember me. my final memory of her was the choking sound from her room as i laid in my bed, sobbing madly. i had asked God to stop her pain. and He took her away. it hurts to know that she was never saved because she never heard or believed the gospel. i finally composed myself.. and muttered a prayer of thanks for ridding her pain.

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so this is who i am

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the teachers were concerned for me.. wanted to make sure that i would be able to cope since i was only starting sec sch.. that yr, my grades suffered. despite my cheeriness, i was dying inside.

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and this is all i know

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my whole sec sch was a rollarcoaster of emotions. there were times where i was really happy.. but so many others where i nearly broke down..screwed up my sec one life really. sec 2, i was slowly picking up the pieces and did considerably better in sch. my maths teacher stressed me so badly in class and i really miss my sec 1 maths teacher who was really encouraging. then, i learnt to channel the horridness felt into studying.. really pushed myself that year and i did really well for maths that yr after an average grade in sec one. after my final year paper results were out, i had an B for maths. i ran up to my maths teacher and thanked her. for once, she really smiled at me and i have no idea who was happier that day. to think my class had erupted in "amazing grace" before the results.

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and i must choose to live

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sec 3 was much better, or so i thought. there was pressure at home to perform as well as my older sister did. but i cannot match up to her. despite continual encouragement abt my "in born intelligence", i only had a flair for memorising song lyrics and nonsensical stuff along those lines. my form teacher, mrs khoo, was the best. she was like a mother to our class and we felt really loved. my maths teacher was the tops too! mrs sim. the whole class adored both teachers for making learning fun. however, it did not stop the struggles at home where i was starting to feel unloved and very much at war. it felt like everything i knew was crashing down.

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for all that i can give

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spoke to ms see lai yin, a staff in our sch's ministry, after that. as i spoke to her, memories of my grandmother floated and i cried and spoke abt it even more. it felt really good to release everything. i guess i was never really over it. ms see helped eased that pain a lot more. i confided in her then, telling her that i never did dare to cry in front of anyone 'cos i saw it as a sign of weakness. she then told me that "showing people that you are capable of emotions is not weak". cried until i had a headache.

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back to studies though, i spoke to mrs khoo abt compo and she dared me to be different, to think out of the box. by the mid term, i was among the top 10 in class. my class wasn't fantastic.. we were all a bunch of horrid slackers. but mrs khoo encouraged us to work harder. it broke our hearts then to learn that she would be moving to states at the end of the year.

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the spark that makes the power grow

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i promised to make her proud of me. during the final year compo exam, i chose the title, "if only i had known.." and turned it into a funny story. it received mention during the exam assessment in front of the sch even though the marker could not remember who wrote it. she said that it was a relief to her brain which would take no more car accidents or cancer-stricken patients. when mrs khoo passed me back my paper, she beamed at me, clearly aware of that anon writer mentioned. i could only grin back happily at her. that sem, i achieved an A2 for eng.

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and i will stand for my dream if i can

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however, i was struggling with maths, chem and phy. sec 4 was a downer. we hated our new form/eng teacher. she was not able to fill in the shoes of mrs khoo and we turned to mrs sim for solace. she then offered to be our surrogate mother after i accidentally called her "Mom" in class. embarrasing.

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symbol of my faith in who i am

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i started to push myself.. by sec 4, i was getting A1s for both maths and maths D. was really happy.. my chem was up to an A2 too but phy was a struggle. between the prelims and the O's, mr heng, our teacher worked hard with us. for once, the class started to appreciate him for all that he went through for us. i still recall him walking around the class while we did our assignments, telling us that "if mohd won't go to the mt, the mt will go to him." ms goh, our scary chem teacher was amazing too. she pushed us to the max and i got my distinction for O's!

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and i must follow on the road that lies ahead

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the result day was scary. i called ray, (my "granddad" in ac) and cried before the results came out. when they did, i was disappointed. wanted to meet zc to jump off a taka together. rhys called shortly after. he didn't do too well and both of us tried to comfort each other before he passed the phone to my other acs(i) friends made in acjc so i could talk to them. i did thank my teachers. ms goh was really happy for me and told me, "i knew you cld do it." mr heng smiled as he shook my hand, glad that my physic was out of the C range with an A2. my maths, as expected, were A1s. hugged and thanked mrs sim before breaking down. she thought they were tears of joy.. but secretly, i was fearing that i might not be able to return to acjc. oh well, that's another story for another time i guess. =]

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i won't let my heart control my head..

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funny as it is, so many of my friends were getting attached and all.. yet i found no need to get involved in a relationship. i was happy the way things were... felt no need to get bogged down after seeing how some friends weren't too happy.. and the constant changing of bfs was all too confusing for me. oh well.. kinda glad i didn't do anything abt it now.. 'cos really man.. no point entering a r/s when i didn't know back then what it meant to be in a r/s, esp as a Christian. grateful for how things turned out eventually.

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other matters with concerns to my friends in mgs are matters so personal that i wld rather keep to myself. hang in there for part 1 of acjc!

RGPS

as the year draws to an end, i think this is a good time to finally look at my schooling life up to now.. i'm going to be 21 next year already... a landmark, i guess. and a time better than any to finally read those chapters of my lifestory which i thought i left behind but never really have. 1991-1996.. RGPS.

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we've come so far, and we've reached so high

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a young girl.. i didn't know much. i didn't know anything. but i guess i was preparing for it already.. after 2 years in newton kindergarden and a fuzzy picture of memories in the pink checkered dress, i was ready for the big world.. in my white and navy uniform. little did i know, the rest of my uniformed schooling life would revolved around those 2 colors (thankfully too).

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why is my primary school even worthed a mention? i'm not an ingrate. some of my best memories were forged that in cream and light green school (back then at least..). firstly, my classes.. i still remember the order. 1A, 2A, 3D, 4B, 5C, 6C. had classmates that were with me for quite a few classes.. one was yuzhen.. she was in all my classes save 4B if i'm not wrong. hazel and i were in the same classes until pri 5. she was merely next door then. caifeng and i were in the same class for our first and last 2 years.

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and we've looked each day and night in the eye

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if anything i was a boring child. i never colored my cookies pink and hair was never blue to me. too practical for my good, i guess.. while everyone was showing off their multi-colored muffins, i had reasons for my colors. if the little circles on the muffins were red, they were cherries. if they were brown, they were choc chips. never creative at art. in fact, i found every chance to get pop or mom to do my art for me. if it was anything i liked, it was simple addition during maths or story-telling during english. i even vaguely remember one english project during pri 1. while my 2 friends drew and colored pictures, my other friend and i worked on the story. nevertheless, we loved all our teachers. whenever a teacher was not around, we somewhat tormented the relief teacher. we rarely paid attention. the only relief teacher i liked was our principal then, Ms Bandara.

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it was pretty much this way from pri 1-2. pri 3 introduced science and i fell in love with the subject. it explained the unexplained to me. i loved nothing more than to raise my hand up in class to ask until i finally had my all answers. there was no such thing as a teacher's pet in my class. everyone loved asking questions at every class. plus, we had a wonderful science teacher, ms maria loo, one of the teachers who really held my attention at every class. i do recall sitting up in front of the class, next to her, as she brought specimens for us to look at and play with. she was the first teacher to bring us to the zoo as well.

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but we're still so young and we hope for more

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pri 4 is pretty much a blur save for that year's Speech day skit. it was the biggest thing for me. i had done class skits in front of either the afternoon or morning session. but the speech day skit was for the whole school and parents as well. we did Annie that year and i played an orphan. i didn't have much lines so u could imagine how upset i was when a girl stole my line during one of the full-dress rehearsal in front of the school. i didn't speak to her and made sure i spoke before her at the actual thing. we had to sing as well and i tell u, the adrenaline in me made me consider being an actress for the longest time. my stories during composition got longer and better at the same time.

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we've come a long way.

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the last 2 years were magical. i have to say i was a superficial little girl. i was close only to those girls who liked the same type of songs as me which was more than half the class. i wasn't close to really anyone else.. but thankfully, those girls i was close to were friends i could depend on. we would chat on the phone, go to each other's place for lunch and to watch tapes or even play games. recess would be netball until one hazardous game which left one injured and me with a very very red nose after the ball hit me. after that, we started playing badminton and dog-n-bone. even our pri 5 camp was a success with our trips to the night safari and goat's farm. watching les miserable while eating the cookies Ms Bandara baked for our class. all fun as leisure was, studying became harder for me.

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i still loved english. chinese was middle.. our teacher was ok.. not fantastic. but hey, she still remembers me. when i was walking home from sch just last mth, i only noticed her after she called out my name. maths seemed tough i was disheartened. i missed topping the class for maths tests and exams and felt that i could no longer do it. science wasn't easier. pop was stressing me at home as well.. while my composition improved, i failed 2 maths tests at the start of pri 6 and failed to get full marks on my model test which i normally topped.

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but we're not too sure where we've been

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my maths teacher guessed it in a way. let's address her as ms leong. she started to give remedial to those who failed the tests, which included me. and as a result, i had to quit mini tennis as the timings clashed. i was really upset for i had missed the team selection by one wk. i guess things would have been different if i had gone for the team selection and got in. i might not even be here blogging away. then she spoke to me one remedial, and told me that if i needed help, i could always approach her. she was always smiling and always nice to me. one incentive she gave the remedial class was that if we finished our assignments quickly and correctly, we could go home early.

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one day, she didn't show up for class. our form teacher came to tell us that she was in the hospital for throat infection. her throat was bleeding. remedial was cancelled that afternoon as well. i went home and cried while doing my assignments. it really pushed me to work harder for her. she returned shortly after that and was pleased that my assignments were completed. for the next test, i topped the class with full marks. i remember this best for that afternoon, i went for remedial again. she told me that i didn't have to show up anymore. but i told her that i wanted to help the rest of the class.. No one went home before others that day. those who finished first stayed back to help the weaker ones.

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we've had success

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my class started passing all our tests with flying colors and i was getting my full marks all over again with my bunch of other friends. science was another headache and our form teacher kinda realized it in the middle of pri 5. before we knew it, we were having chinese during science just so that our last periods were free for us to go to the zoo or science center for classes. everything was so much more hands-on. we got to run amock in children's world before it was opened in the morning to the public.. catch insects to study how they move and live in their environments. science became fun. i started to take interest in the books pop "forced" me to study. it was nice.. to gain back that kind of inquisitive-ness. i felt that i needed to know more if i wanted to advance in my studies. and i was looking forward to secondary school as well. that yr, my form teacher commended me for my "conscientiousness". a new word i picked up with glee along with "industrious". i was using a thesaurus to figure out the meaning then. hee hee.

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we've had good times

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our trip to Penang was a blast.. even the encounter with the ghost did nothing to dampen our mood. and it was seriously freaky. we were playing murderer in the dark. during our third game, the "murderer" killed 2 ppl and stopped. when i finally switched on the lights, a friend came out of the toilet, said that she was one of the two "murderers" but had no chance to kill anyone. upon asking, no one else was a "murderer". then, we realized that one "murderer" card was missing. when we found it, it was under the bed. even though we had 12 ppl playing, there were 13 cards. the two "dead" then said that the "murderer" did not tap twice lightly on the shoulder as planned but instead, pressed down heavily on their shoulders. we stared at one another before squealing silly and all jumping on the bed. even charmaine's vision of a hanging girl in our bathroom on the first day added to it. the finaly night saw 4 girls squeezed in the rooms despite the 3-in-a-room rule as by the teachers.

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but remember this

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but on the last day of pri 6, i didn't want to go to secondary school suddenly. as much as i was interested in growing up to feel important, i felt like i was leaving behind so much. there was a little platform between 6D and 6E on the top floor so my friends, even those from various classes, sat there, just staring at the road. then a song started in my head and i cried. my friends around me saw me and burst into tears as well, hugging each and everyone. i was scared.. really scared. it was too fast. we ended that day in class with "Never forget" by Take That, the song that was running in my head. hm.. wave of nostalgia runneth over me. but lemme just take this chance to thank my dear friends for the memories.

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i understand the meaning of "i can't explain this feeling"

now it feels so unreal...

i need to be more alert... i think.. i don't know.. some stuff really don't bother me so i don't even notice it happening around me!! take for one, christopher lee (singapore idol dude) sang "drops of jupiter" at my prom. He's one yr my jnr in sch... when i was told that, the first thought that ran through my head was, "That song was sung at the prom?" ok, i know that "drops of jupiter" was the theme that night.. but seriously.. was there really someone singing that night? next, there's a guy by the name of nathaniel in my sch from my batch. i like the name "nathaniel". how could it have passed me by? and he's actually pretty decent-looking...and guess what, he was in the second piano show of Singapore Idol. trust my little bro to know stuff like that.

but nevertheless, got my haircut!! for $8.40 too!! ahaha.. took a chance and went for the student cut at Kimage in Funan IT Mall.. got this dude. it was quite funny all in all. he's got a really boyish look but that's besides the pt here.. this dude is fantastic at massaging!! he rubbed my temples quite a bit and even massaged my neck during the shampoo!! and when he was washing the shampoo out, he was very careful with my ears... ah... the ideal type of svc for hairdressers. when he was thinning my hair, he was trying smth new and by doing it, felt like he was plucking my hair out from their roots. then he suddenly stopped and asked if it was painful. i nodded quickly and said yes. he was kinda sheepish and reverted back to the painless style. it took him 3 tries at my fringe before i liked the lenght too. that was quite funny and both of us were grinning away by then. i really felt at ease even though he was just a student. at the end of it, he finished off with a spray which left both of us choking on the smell and laughing. all that for $8.40. *grinz*

my most interesting haircut ever! beats the other dude at Pointers.. that dude was a... funny stupid moron who (i have a feeling) might think i like him... just 'cos i blushed when his fingers ran over my collarbone while he trimmed my hair. i'm very sensitive to touch when it comes to my shoulder area and my ears.. (sy, u better not be grinning when u read this, u little girl, u..)

Christmas is coming.. two songs stuck in my head.. "All i want for Christmas is you" and "Last Christmas", the first one more.. thinking of that little girl singing it in Love Actually.. glad that we'll be watching that on Christmas. =]

Back from japan.. urgh.. i miss it.. i miss the coldness stinging my cheeks, the wind freezing my fingers and making me feel alive.. i miss my eye candies off the streets!! and now i'm back in Singapore. *sighz* further inspired to finally learn japanese.. think i've procrastinated long enough with regards to taking a third language.. it was between french, thai, jap and swedish (long story to why swedish..). i guess jap wld be interesting to pick up first.. then i can go back to shirakaba, the highlight of the entire tour.

yes, not even the neon city glamorous lights of the breath-taking tokyo night can rival the natural beauty bestowed on shirakaba. little trival, shirakaba got its name from the shirakaba or white trees that you see all around. even shirakaba-go (the little village) was gorgeous in a it's own little way. and oh gosh.. the buffet dinner that night at ikenotaira (hotel 1500 ft above sea level) cld not beat the feeling that surged through me as i soaked in the hot spring that night. we didn't get do do snow activities as japan's currently having a warm winter now. not enough thick natural snow at ikenotaira itself. but the next day, we went to the silhouette-crystal-musical box museum and i bought my music box! it's a small one with a carousel in it. nearly got the angel one with panchebel's canon in D minor but the carousel one was cheaper by a lot and it was adorable. didn't find my Sleeping Beauty one either... they had almost all the disney cartoon ones 'cept Sleeping Beauty. sighz. and took the cable car 2500 ft up Tateshima as well.. -4 degrees, mind u!! had snow fights as usual and yong and i took pics with some of the jap girls. they were really obliging and pretty too!!! if i do ever have a jap bf, he wld have to know how to ski or snowboard..

didn't shop much.. the clothes there aren't cheap! but bought little nick-nacks and loads of food.. one place worthed a mention.. Odaiba. it's a huge shopping area! there's Venus fort in it, kinda like caesar's palace in Vegas but i have to say that i liked caesar's palace more... it's slightly brighter and the clothes are actually more affordable there. then there's the toyota showroom. i just walked one round. the toyota Mark X is a beauty... ahaha. then there's a huge ferris wheel! don't know how high.. but when i was queuing up for it, my legs went weak just looking up. i have a fear of heights man.. but when i was in it, it was just.. amazing. had a view of the tokyo lights and even the tokyo tower at night. Nice. just very smelly in our car.. Pop had tons of garlic for lunch and teik was farting non-stop. i nearly died from the smell. but at the same time, i cldn't help wondering how nice it would be to be in the car with that special someone, just taking in the sights..

the ppl in japan are really good-looking!! and i'm not joking man.. the number of good looking guys on the streets as compared to back home.. sighz.. plus the girls are sooo pretty!! i.. i just.. *little black sheep going, "baaaaa"* anywayz, have uploaded all my pictures from japan already.
http://community.webshots.com/user/nookweis

to end off here... anyone got any ken hirai cds?? looking for "Sentimental Lover" and "Ken's Bar" actually..

the camp finally draws to an end and now i sit in the SR4, in the darkness but not alone (no pun here). it has been fruitful. vic and dave did a pretty good job, i'll have to say. and tim made learning interesting. yc.. let's just say we got him with the water balloons and buckets of water like we always do to the game masters. =]

covered on Joshua, talking abt the promises of God. The mere power of God's promises, His never-failing commitment to it despite man's fallen nature and wavering faith in His words, the much needed rightful response that we should be giving to our Lord, the things we deemed as problems to God's promises and God fulfilling it against all odds.. from our pt of view at least. and just as God promised His people blessings of a promised land in the OT and fulfilled it, the promise of the blessing of peace with Him did come true too, through Jesus. and although the Bible tells me the same thing over and over again, it never fails to leave me in awe. all in all, i kinda wish i didn't have to go home today.

late night suppers and chats will be missed... be it sitting around talking, playing bridge, a very demeaning game of heart attack or just eating together ('fei'-llowship man..) the conversations shared were priceless like every other cf camp that we have. can't wait for the bible retreat to come.

and it seems inevitable that i leave the camp with personal struggles brought to my attention. will need to reflect.. really think abt it for a week or two and if nothing happens, i'm going to brush the issue away, seeing that i might be actually making a mountain out of a molehill. don't wanna hurt any friends or even myself as i ponder and try to sort out my thoughts. delaine darling, thanks for listening to me last night as i just confess my confusion. i'll see how everything goes and you can count on me keeping you updated, given our "ba-gua"ness.

and i declare the camp a success.

Happy 1000th Game, Sir Alex

have to study... i swear. i refuse to screw my comp law up. but i must digress for now to turn my attention to one of the best managers of football i've ever known. Sir Alex Fergurson. sure, argue all you want abt his temperament and attitude. but seeing how he developed the team, you cannot deny what this man has done for the team that was one just full of drunks.

woke today at 6.50 in time for the 2nd half of the MUFC v Lyon match. meaning, i missed Gary Nev's goal at the 19th min. does it matter? considering the fact that i think the nev bros are one of the few worthy members of MU to keep on watching the team, yesh, it was kinda upsetting. and they never showed the goal even at the end of the match. nevertheless, i got to watch the gorgeous header by Ruud. he never ceases to amaze me. it was a calculated header after a pass from Rooney that gave the winning goal to MU. beautiful. this is goes into the "beautiful goals" in my head, along with his hook with his left foot. i can never remember who he scores the goal against but knowing that he's scoring goals to give MU that edge is more than i can ask for. could have converted one final one.. but the angle wasn't right. would have been the most beautiful goal of the champions league if he had gotten it. Wazzup with that? imagine Ronaldo giving Ruud a pass and Ruud delivers it with great accuracy, outside the penalty area even, over the heads of everyone and the goalkeeper into the net. it never happened. oh well, all's not lost. we still won.

oh well. another plus pt of the match, watching Ronaldo floor the other team and send the MU crowd into a frenzy when he ran, defended but untouched, from the midline to near the end of Lyon's side of the field. i could only stare in amazement at his speed and ease as he manuvuered past the 3 defenders trying to mark him. i grinned after that. the beauty of football displayed by a mere youth. too bad he didn't score with that one. if not, it would have been Giggs all over again. like i said, i cannot remember their opponents for nuts. but their goals and moves linger on. Giggs swerves and manuvuers the football with such grace, speed and ease, outwits 3 defenders, all in the penalty box. and with his back to the goal, he turns around and slams the ball into the back of the net with precision that only Ruud could compete with. and the surge of thrill that rushed through my spine when Scholes blasted the ball with such power from a distance directly in front of the net. it was blocked but i swear it caused a panic in the opposition.

there is no doubt why i love this team which made football dead fun for me to watch. even LC was taken back by my essay on the beautiful game of football speckled with memories of the scenes i witnessed through the MU matches. am i mad? yes, i am. to all those who thought i watched MU for mr squeaky voice beckham, eat dirt. i watch MU for MU. (i wld rather u said cantona or giggs)

anywayz, wanna go club this friday. i don't normally club. but feel like i need gd music, drinks and just a chance to party and dance the night away liternally with peeps like serene and cheryl. Not at SOS though. cheap drinks, nice music but the drinks were diluted. oh well, there's dbl O with the $3 drinks all night this friday. but cover charge is $15. even chinablack is $15 on fridays. argh. no money. Anyone up for Ladies' Night tonight? forget i asked. i'm nuts.

*company law in sight, company in mind.*

Distracted at this point of time in the night... and I really should be studying... but oh gosh... just staring at the mp3 players now.

The MuVo® TX FM. Sweet deal: 32 g without battery, plays and records FM radio, up to 256 MB of flash memory, music customization (my mpio does that already though), 1 AAA battery, high reso backlit reversible LCD with ID3 tags for folder navigation, built in USB 2.0 for fast transfer, built-in microphone for voice recordings... how's a girl to resist that?

Then there's the gorgeous MuVo2 X-Trainer with the UBS 2.0, small, sleek, arm and belt strap, with at least 512 MB of space, flash memory to ensure no skipping, convert CDs to MP3s or WMAs

And if you think it doesn't get any better, let me introduce to you a beauty by the dearest people at MPIO. (bet you thought I was going to say Apple)

What's so fantastic abt a Korean brand loads of people don't know about? Loads, I tell you ignorant people out there. The sweetest deal: USB 2.0, 43 hrs on a single AA battery, Philips 3D sound effect (aw man!), double area color on OLED and Human Eye sensor, FM tuner, voice/FM/line-in recorder, classic audio tuner(ah the nostalgia...), supported digital optical in, decodes mp3/wma/asf, from 128 MB to 1 GB memory space, armband for joggers (yay!) and finally, 55 languages.

Ok, I don't need the 55 languages bit. But before you think that it’s a damn bulky and heavy thing from the design, get this right.

31 x 82 x 28.5/mm; 40.5 g

Now I'm really drooling... who needs the iPod micro or Creative Zen Micro now with this baby? 512 MB is sweet enough for me, man.

Are You Converted?

********************

Date: 31st Dec, 2004
Time: 9 p.m - 3 a.m
Venue: Chijmes Lawn
Admission: Free
What: Salsa New Year Eve's Party

i know it's damn early to think abt stuff like that, especially with the exams next week. i'm tired and rather sick of staring at com law and audit already. oh well.. anyone interested?

Maybe it's intuition
but some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes, I think I found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
but I believe...

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only the sense of completion
And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
but I believe...

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
- Savage Garden "i knew i loved you"

This song kinda means smth more to me... no, I haven't met that special someone. But... the lyrics just hold a deeper meaning for me than I feel it does for others. It just holds a little more meaning for me given my eccentric-ness.

just hear marc anthony's "when i dream at night". a sensuous song really.. the spanish guitar in the background with soft percussion wrapped gently by his smooth coaxing voice.. i can think of no other way to describe the beauty of this song. "cos i only feel alive when i dream at night. every move that she makes holds my eyes." and you can picture a couple doing the spanish bolero. bolero is a little like salsa.. but it's slower and more... sensual, in a way.. argh.. i need to get back on the dance floor.. but no money.. haiz.

anyone wanna head down to union square on the 26 of nov for the Latin fiesta? i think i've forgotten most of the salsa moves... oh well.. the guys are to be leading right? hee hee..

kinda hazy now.. been trying to study.. trying not to be distracted.. but it all came crashing down when the impact of mom's words hit me just now as i tried to read audit.

and just this morning, i was reading the papers, thinking of when to go to bossini to get my pants.. whether to get my pants or not in the first place.. then she came over.. said that granduncle passed away on saturday and she only knew it abt this morning.. and guess what, the situation only hit me just now.. pls.. pray for my family.. pray for his son, my uncle.. pray for his wife, my grandaunt-in-law... pray for all those affected by this..

Lullabies

friends who know me really well will say that underneath all that toughness and tomboyish, there's a little girl. allow me to improvise on that.. underneath it all, the pride, toughness and roughness, there's just a little girl who just wants to snuggle up to that security blanket, lured into the land of dreams with songs.

been hearing songs that i wish someone would sing to me before i go to bed at night.
**
1. You will always be beautiful in my eyes (joshua kadison)
2. I will be here (clay aiken)
3. Shine (clay aiken)
4. I will carry you (clay aiken)
5. Shoulder to cry on (tommy page)
6. Just to be the next to be with you (mr big)
7. Wild world (Mr Big)
8. When I see you smile (bad english)
9. When I look into your eyes (firehouse)
10. Come crying to me (lonestar)
11. Don't be afraid (lee hom)
12. shooting star (boyzone)
13. Dance (tori amos)
14. if tmr never comes (ronan keating)
15. to love a woman (lionel ritchie & enrique)
**
yupe.. these songs are those i can picture a person holding a baby or tucking a young child in and singing to them as well. it's the sense of security i guess.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i want that security too...

Dreams

ser was sharing a nightmare she had with me the other day.. one of those hilarious and scary ones. then, she brought up another question.. asked abt recurring dreams. i have had a few.. normally horror ones.. that leave me waking up in cold sweat. but they have stopped due to me finally finding a way out of the horror place. only one of the recurring dreams which i feel most about ain't a nightmare. and this one stopped in the most upsetting way.

it's set at a beach resort. it's normally dark and stormy at night with blackouts but in the day, it's beautiful and ever-so peaceful.. a place where i can go fishing and just chill out. then i've got 2 friends in my dreams. ed and jon. jon's got a gf whom i've never seen but yar, they are my closest friends. the dreams always finish with me sitting by the sea.

my last dream was really bad. it started off the same, pops driving the family to the resort. but as the dream wore on, i had a big fight with edward. it was 'cos i felt that he didn't appreciate the things i did for him as a friend. for me always accomodating him and he never doing that for me. and i hit him. i cried so hard in the dream and the pain was just so raw while the frost of the air stung my cheeks. at the end of it, i was alone with mom. despite the gorgeous surroundings of auroras around in early morning sky while i sat on the snow-covered ground. the dream had never ended that way. and i was really sad. almost as though i knew it was to end. then when i woke, i had a feeling i would never see that place again, i would never laugh with jon or talk with edward. and i cried again when i woke. it was hard.. really. letting go of smth so close to my heart.

a hint that i would be single for the rest of my life? i had a few dreams which revolved 'round this guy. i've never seen him before but it's kinda like what darren hayes sang, "i knew i loved you before i met you." and u know what? the first dream i had abt him was that he died. the following dreams were nicer.. but he died in the first one.

i need to stop getting affected so badly. maybe i'm really meant to be alone. i think i'm pretty sadistic towards myself. still trying to pick up the glass shards, still cutting cut myself only to drop the piece, shattering it further. i keep trying to harden that stubborn heart but it doesn't always listen. now it's hiding in the corner, not even wanting me to touch it. my head's telling me to sit down by the pieces and do no more. i'll wait until God mends it for me. i wished my heart was less strong willed on the outside and weak inside!

i was born a dreamer and will always be a dreamer. asking me to suppress the dreaming me is asking me to not breathe. i wonder if God sees that girl crying in my again, the bloodied hands with reopened scars, older than i can remember them to be. she's crying 'cos she's so tired of false hopes. i guess i'm created to relate and to be alone. i think i might go crazy soon. wonder if God's crazy and seemingly contradictory plan is for me to remain single for the rest of my life or to appreciate His gift to me in the future. for now, let it be the former. let the shattered pieces mend, that my heart be whole again like it was when i was born, like it was to be... no longer the way it was once i knew what emotions were. perhaps... perhaps a world without love will really be a world without pain. Just hoping...

stupid. just realized i'm listening to solitaire.

do i want to die young? i don't mind.. seriously.. i think it's a serious way to start a blog but jx asked me that suddenly.. so made me think abt it. why do i even want to die young? While, Paul did mention in Philippians 1:21, "to live is Christ, to die is gain". it is selfish of me, to want to die so that i'd gain. at the same time, it's selfish 'cos i'm not thinking of the ppl who do care abt me. i'll be leaving behind all my friends and family.

anywayz, another qn that moron asked was if any guy had caught my attention. truth is, some guys have actually managed to catch my attention.. but just my eye, not my mind or heart. upsetting, isn't it? just 2 really.. zax and mod. they're the similar sort... nice almond-shaped eyes (yesh, peri, there are ppl who like almond-shaped eyes and not just the puppy-dog types). defined features with high cheekbones that give off the soft touch to the boyish face.

orli is obviously disturbed by the fact that i'm still thinking of mod even though i saw him for a while. is it my fault he's got a face that's so easy and comforting to the eyes? orli's mom thinks he's good looking. my mom reckons he's pretty. ahahaha.. see.. and mod's got a slimmer face as compared to zax. but it doesn't hinder the fact that they are really nice to rest my eyes on. and plus plus to them... mod does funny. i was laughing so hard when i first had a run-in with him. zax's got a really nice voice. it's gentle, comforting and strong. even more gentle than clay aiken's and i'm not joking. clay's got a different type of comforting voice.. like the big brother type comforting. zax's got the "friend" comforting type singing voice. and both of them have bright smiles that make me smile too.

haven't found any guys to "rest my eyes one" since my.. erm.. shall not say. shall just say it was never dring sch days of smu and mgs. ahaha

Whatever happens~

whatever happens, we must live worthy lives
and for the gospel stand firm, side by side.
do not be frightened in anything
for we are honoured to share his sufferings

and we rejoice because we know
that through our prayers and the spirit of jesus
in our distress, his name will be exalted
in trials we will not be ashamed
we rejoice, we rejoice

and so we hold on, our labour bearing fruit
and in one spirit, we know joy and hope
and one before us wrote words to lift us up
To live is christ, to die is truly gain

and we rejoice because we know
that through our prayers and the spirit of jesus
in our distress, his name will be exalted
in trials we will not be ashamed
we rejoice, we rejoice

whatever happens we must live worthy lives
and for the gospel stand firm, side by side
(c) Mark Peterson 2003
*****

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved--and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have." Phil 1:27-30

it's so hard... so hard to even think of these few verses when suffering for the gospel... keep reminding myself of it... singing to myself.. reading the very verses... and i'm not alone in this suffering so now, there are a few things i wanna tell some of my friends.

**

michk: Thank you for listening to me when i was really tired and stressed... for your advice. but i have to apologize.. i cannot do what u can do... we do think differently. i agree, ppl tend to focus on different things in life even when they center everything around God.. it's 'cos of the different situations we are in. i cannot let go of cf now.. not now... not when i'm in love with the one thing that brought me to cf, not when i'm in love with God. nevertheless my darlink, i thank you for being there.. it means a lot 'cos i know u are stressed out too. we're all really tired of everything for now but yet you could listen to me. i really thank God for a friend like you, darlink.

michl: for being the one i cld laugh and joke with.. for letting me tease you and most imptantly, for letting me know when i step across the line. i thank you for your frankness.. that our friendship allows this. thankiew, my little mouse.

ben: for being such an amazing brother... for being able to make me laugh when i'm tired... for being such an amazing cg mate last year and a even more amazing acgl this sem. even entertaining me with your non-existant love life last yr.. you may think it's just mere words, but my brother, it asssures me of the fact that we can share lives so openly.. even though we're really crapping most of the time. thankiew for your encouragement

bryan: my dearest chewbacca brother! thankiew for the laughs, your little crazy antics that keep me thinking that perhaps the world can be a happy place.. for even the drinks before cf each week. and i still owe u a drink, whatever you say

jx: you are a true friend, you know? for talking to me... for being the one who corrects me when you see me step out of line.. for the constant reminder of the gospel when i lose sight of it. for helping me out when i have problems understanding stuff. for being crazy with ben and bryan and making me laugh.. thankiew

wc: thankiew for the ocassional msgs to make sure that i'm ok when we don't see each other around.. for remembering little things that i tell you no matter how insignificant it is.. and for driving me home even though u don't live near me. i will treat you to a brownie one day. oh wait, you don't like brownies. opps. hee hee

david: for your words of encouragement after a meeting. you assured me that i was capable of things that i was afraid of trying.. for making sure that i didn't make the big mistake of turning down the post of a cgl.. for being a fellow sufferer in christ.. for still talking to me after i "pushed you around".. for just being a brother and friend whom i can talk to. thank you.
**

please... please pray for me that the choices i make will be pleasing to God, taking into consideration the people i love... my friends, my sch mates, my family, and especially my lovely brothers and sisters in smucf. pray for me that i will take full confidence in God's word, His promises, the gospel.. pray that the ppl around me will understand why i do what i do, which is for the gospel.. for God. and of course not forgetting, please pray for my friends... that whatever happens, we will lead worthy lives still, because of the gospel.

for my other friends who i did not mention in this case, it's not that i don't regard you guys highly. i'm in love with each and every one of you.. but it's too many to write.. and these ppl have just changed my lives in such a significant way that i'm left thinking about it right now with my current state.