sunday... was raining for a while.

'twas a nice feeling.. just eating cola candy and drinking hot green tea while staring blankly at my AFA. trying to get my dad to go to the supermarket. i wanna grab a trolley and tear down the candy and snacks aisle.. all the candies that i used to eat all the time..

blackcurrant pastiles.. lime hacks.. jelly tots.. sour ribbons.. twirl.. kinder bueno.. kit kat chunky.. nerds.. gobstoppers.. sour apple ribbons.. pretzels.. Calbee hot and spicy.. Lays BBQ..

i don't need a visit to the supermarket. i need a visit at candy empire again. time to stock up once more.

not on candy.. but stock up on things that used to make my day. ('cept ice cream. too much at home.)

it's just... perhaps i don't wanna grow up 'cos i still find comfort in that enigmatic calming effect of feeling like a kid. it's just that giddy euphoria i get from standing in front of the many rows of candy.. or that wild uncontainable happiness when i'm grabbing soft toys off the shelves in toys'r'us..


perhaps i'll never really grow up.. but i don't want to.


anyhoo, pretty happy with my current set of playlist to see me through when i'm studying.. a whole host of songs to sing along to.. Jars of Clay.. The Calling.. Our Lady Peace.. Lifehouse.. and Dishwalla. one of the two CDs that i wanna get my hands on. Dishwalla. the other being MCR. I only have one of Dishwalla's songs, "Angels and Devils" from a friend. they're pretty ok. by chance, i came across the lyrics of another of their songs, "Healing Star"

Let me be your healing star
Let me take you far from there
And take you anywhere

so many things i wanna do.. go candy empire.. go toys'r'us.. watch deathnote.. buy CDs.. where to find the time?

oh.. what are the chances of me having a hairline crack at my ankle after i smashed it against the footrest of the shoulder-press chair in the gym? damn painful...

training was tmd siong. seriously. i went to bed aching. i woke up aching. i swear, i was ready to throw up after my second last set of suicides. how i managed to get by the last one without collapsing still remains a pure mystery. got a headache after training.. went to bed with a headache.. still got a heavy head now. and aching too..

i know it sounds masochistic of me but honestly, i'm glad i'm feeling this way. i've managed to pushed myself. power training is seriously no joke. oh. did i mention that my bench press is up from 9 kg aside last week to 10 kg aside this week? i'm closer to my goal of benching 15 kg aside. it doesn't count that i can do 25 kg bar. BEC-ers, you shld know that..

please girls, don't let this scare you. bryan will go on and on abt how i shld not be doing manly push-ups. by the way, they are not called manly-push-ups. they are just called push-ups. when you put your knees down, they are not called womanly push-ups. they are just called assisted push-ups. Bryan, stop scaring everyone!

and girls, dragonboating does not make u a man, damnit! instead, you feel good about yourself. i'm not talking abt the ability to look in the mirror and go, "hey! i've got toned arms!" it's the ability to look at your own reflection in the mirror and go, "i pushed myself today. i struggled, i fought and i survived."

Girls Team: We are not men. We are girls. What makes us different? We are fighters.

we've all showed it in our lives. i remember the night of sharing during the DB camp, we all had similar stories.. about meeting with adversity.. and coping with it in our unique little ways that have brought about that little fighter in us.

we fight. and we'll continue fighting. just like my christian walk. i'll keep fighting to stick to what i fervantly believe in.

but with the pushing from ah zhui during training.. guess we aren't fighting as much as we shld be. 23 more days to push ourselves more and more. fine. we might puke. we were mad enough to join dboat to begin with. ahahahahaha

In the day after AFA class, jos and i decided to head for bubble tea as a breaktime snack. on our way back, we sat under the tree at campus green with ben, fel and esther. it was nice to just sit and sing songs. before we knew it, we were talking about Sunday School songs.

i've never been to Sunday School but back in my kindergarden (which is now known as the tiny kindergarden housed by newton life church.. the church wasn't even there when the sch was!!), we were taught songs to sing along too. the typical stuff like, "He's got the whole world", "Deep down in my heart", "Rising of the sun", "Because He Lives".. all the action songs.

then in MGS, chapel wld have action-songs once in a while just 'cos it was fun. i was in a class of GB girls so they taught us little dances as they strummed in class and we sang along. it's just such an integral part of my christian life.. being able to sit around with people and sing christian songs. it wasn't a closed-eyes-raised-hands experience for me in mgs. it was a i'm-glad-you're-here-next-to-me-singing type of feel. where even if i closed my eyes, the girls wld have linked arms and wld be swaying together.

i'm feeling like a kid now.. don't ask me why. just really miss those days of being able to sing my worries away.. the simple thrill i got out of things like dancing in the rain and letting it wash my troubles away... i still like singing.. i still like dancing in the rain. but it doesn't feel the same anymore.

but whatever it is.. i'll just keep on singing and dancing..

Give me oil in my lamp
Keep me burning, burning, burning
Give me oil in my lamp
I pray, i pray
Give me oil in my lamp
Keep me burning, burning, burning
Keep me burning 'til the break of day

and i'll keep on going.. keep on praying.. not for myself. but for Him. =)

**********

Would you light my candle?

up to 20,000 children appear in pornographic images online everyday

There are more than 100,000 child pornography sites on the internet

19% of paedophiles have images of children 3 years and below

similar to one.org, these people are not asking for ur money. heck, they aren't even asking for your name or email or any other details. they are asking for your voice. it doesn't make sense for a person to light more than one candle. 'cos it gives others a reason to not be aware of this issue just because we've hit the numbers. it's not how many candles that we light.

it's how many people we create that awareness in.




Have you lit your candle yet?

http://www.lightamillioncandles.com

interesting stuff...

anyone heard abt the Yale student, Aleksey Vayner, who decided to screw his life up? He created his own company and charity. and oh yes. he also "wrote" and "published" a book on women during the Holocaust?

anyhoo, the company's fake. the charity is a spin-off from a real one. the book? snippets copied from other sources. and the best part is that Vayner decided to create 3 hoax websites in case his future employers decide to do a background check. whatever the case, the lovely people at UBS (the company that he sent his resume to) decided to circulate it in the company. somehow, now a number of companies on wallstreet are enjoying some valuable rest time by laughing at vayner's expense.

how far would you go to impress your future employers? i take heart that God needs no impressing. He has already accepted me.

whatever the case, this nut managed to get youtube.com to remove his video from their website. yes. video. he made an inspiration video for his interviews. (i did mention that he's a nutter) Impossible is nothing. ooogay. whatever you say, vayner..

anywayz, don't fret. the ivy league have put it up on their blog!

check it out here: http://www.ivygateblog.com/blog/2006/10/calling_aleksey_vayners_bluff.html#comments

aren't they absolute darlings? you have got to love them. but it's a wake-up call to us right? how's that, uni students? remember, don't lie in your resumes. if you do, better pray that it doesn't circulate in the CBD, making you Vayner of Singapore (VOS). hey, that's catchy. =)

if anything, things are looking interesting for Vayner. seems that Mr "impossible is nothing" has sent a "cease and disist" letter to the IvyGate. not that it was original to begin with. this guy is hopeless. well, the ivy league blog is more than enough to entertain those stuck at home this weekend.

but using slander as a claim? i wonder how vayner will fight this out. how abt ivygate? groundless threats? it wasn't slander to begin with. libel perhaps. Mr Yale should get his terms right if he plans to blow the entire thing out of proportion. i'm absolutely chaffed. this will be interesting to follow while it plays out.

P.S: if ivy league is made to remove the video due to the *ahem* "cease and disist" from Vayner, ask me. i'll describe the hilarity to you.

P.P.S: seems like vayner was the butt of the yale joke when he was a freshman back in 2002. read page 12 of http://www.yale.edu/rumpus/archives/pdf/rumpus_may02.pdf

who ever said those stubble uppers don't have a sense of humor? i'm thrilled.

Somebody up there loves me

Friday 13th ain't all that bad that ppl make it out to be.

naturally, i was annoyed abt the fact that i had to return to school for a day of meetings. it wasn't back to back anymore. ipr meeting was postponed to mon so just two meetings with 3 hours in between. the meetings went ok, i think. more deadlines to push us.. think i've gotten that momentum back finally.

with the 3 hours to spare, i headed to the gym for a good workout. coughing a bit now but hey, i'm on the road to recovery finally. just hope to get a better sleep tonight. my throat kept me up for a really long time before i finally dozed off.

but i have to admit, wgt training was fantastic. i actually increased my weights! CJ thought it was a bit weird 'cos when people are sick, they don't normally increase but decrease it. me? i increased it. ahahaha. CJ was a spotter like no one i've ever met. he was nearby to watch me but never helped. forced me to push beyond my limits. thanks bro. and erm.. ahaha yy can vouch for my certain highness. (yy: is it my fault that he's terribly hot yet terribly gay at the same time? even you think he's cute.)

after tax planning meeting, i headed to the supermecado (si. me hablo un poco espanol. no muy mal pero no bien. mi espanol es mas o meno). bought myself some pescado for dinner. that's when i realized why ppl felt today was unlucky.

the computer system was down, thus causing the pricing system to be down. in the entire supermarket. many people got so frustrated that they left with their trolleys in the way. it was terrible. the poor staff had to run around and return the perishable goods into the cooler areas. ppl were annoyed and the staff had to tolerated them. i felt so sorry for the staff.. the ppl in my queue paid for what they cld pay for and stormed off, leaving the counter lady to run around and return them.

yet when it came to the guy just in front of me, the system returned..to only our queue. the guy had been very patient and tried to make the flustered counter lady calm down. meanwhile, the other queues were clearly agitated and the poor counter staff had to tolerate ranting housewives. when i paid for my items, i tried to calm the poor lady down as well. she really didn't deserve it. the staff was helpless.. if anything, fault shld be pinned on the system for not having a back-up, not the staff.

if i had to complain abt anything, it would be standard of the english of the annoucements. i cringed and mentally blocked it out of my mind. sighz. what to do... =p

perhaps i'm not so tough after all...

after training in the haze on saturday, i headed down to the chinese garden when some of the cfers. didn't see much from the top of the pagoda this year. stupid haze. to give ya a lowdown, i trained when the haze was abt 130 on the PSI.. and was walking around when it was 150 before going for beer. sooooooo....

i was left pretty sick on sunday. holding back the dry cough, i was chugging down all sorts of nonsense. ginseng tea, hot tea with honey, herbal cooling tea.. i kept waking up in the middle of the night to drink water 'cos i would choke on the dryness of my throat. so.. not exactly the kind of sleep that would allow me to get better.

yday, i wasn't any better. so i got my bum down to the doc's after sophie let me in on the fact that we now no longer have to pay for the school one. the last time i went to the doctor in school, i had to pay upfront and claim for it through OSL. i stayed away from it. don't know when they finally changed it but yea.

finally armed with my medication and slightly high abt hitting the waters again, i went down for training, minus the crazy sprints. training was good. i got to row on the left waway. and i felt fantastic, as though my entire system was cleared out. i wasn't coughing or sneezing..

then this morning, i felt like total crap.

i wasn't aching very badly. just the normal aches. but my throat felt lumpy. yay. swollen tonsils despite the fact that i took my medication the night before. i'm still hiding the fact that i'm on medication from my mom. she'd chew me up and spit me out if she found out. my nose was on a dripfest. taking my medication, i went for the equipping workshop a little too groggy for my liking.

was photographer for the rest of the day at sentosa. can't say i had a sucky time but i wished i could have had more fun. felt like a party pooper at the end of the day 'cos i just got sooo drained. too much vitamin K ain't good for sick babies, esp when it's two days in a row. *suck thumb* i finally decided not to stay out too late and left with bryan and his gf instead of joining the rest for dinner as i had planned. she lives near me so i got a free ride home. (thankiew bryan!)

btw, Sam's a total sweetheart. i had to write this 'cos even though we haven't had a chance to hang out much today or as a matter of fact, the entire term, he just smsed me and told me to take care of myself. you have gotta lurve brothers like that. thankiew, ah bang!

here are some pictures...

Lantern Festival 2006

pretty maids in a row...

fel and me!

have you met my da ge? he wants to meet you if you're a hot single christian girl. ahahaha. kidding, josh.

Funday 06/07 Term 1

songs before the activities today kicked off

now i lay me down to sleep

zaixiang after a run-in with a water-happy felicia

a very color-coordinated eugene

hunchback of CF!

have you met my pregnant CGL? (don't even ask..)

does good service equate to casual flirting with the customers?

i've had my share of fantastic service. Robinsons dude running up and down to find me the best pillow due to my neck problem. NUM guys being amazingly helpful in helping me find tees for a friend's birthday..

but there's a new batch of people with a different definition of good service.. they honestly.. flirt.

don't ask me why... they say silly stuff like "you soo pretty" *puke*

advice to the service staff of singapore.. be nice!! not buaya!! it's very annoying, honestly. i laugh it off and humor them. but please don't. it's not called for professionally. perhaps it's 'cos i'm small and thus, they think it's ok? i don't think so..

enough of ranting choong siang is relegating me to the back of the counter with his "gym staff-gym trainer" argument. annoying... =p

don't know what to do next. i'm tired..

i shldn't be thinking abt nonsense like that during the term time. does nothing but distract me at this time. some issues confuse me.. some irritate and annoy me.. some make me upset. i shld be studying, damnit!

do i want to know the truth all the time? fine, gospel truth i will always wanna know. but truth abt all the other stuff that's been hounding me? i don't know. i want to be relieved to know that i've been wrong about it all the time.

as for the two of you, i'm sorry. i just don't know what to think at this point of time. i don't even want to think abt it until i'm safely in oz without your presence. pray for me, that i'll resolve it by the time i get back.

anyhoo, i'm in a christmas mood. don't asked me why. wishing that i had snow to look forward to.. making snow angels and tiny snowmen.. sipping warm chocolate at a cosy fireplace corner.. yes, i'm thinking about Grand Canyon during winter again. i miss that place. sure, it was a snowing so hard that i was unable to really enjoy the grand canyon as i would have been able to in the summer.

but i just wanna go shopping for that white christmas tree... pretty christmas ornaments.. singing christmas carols.. christmas shopping.. spending time with those who mean a lot to me.. giving thanks for the reminder of the birth of my Lord (note: i said "reminder of the birth" and not "birthday").. and knowing that jingting will be back then makes me long for it even more.

that's it.. i need a trip down to toys'r'us.. badly.

Where are you, Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know?
I'm not the same one
See what time's done
Is that why you have let me go

*****
to my sick babies, please take care.. esp my dear dragonboaters. drink plenty of water. if you have a sore throat, drink herbal tea and water and hot lemon tea with honey.. got cold don't blow ur nose off. take ur medication and sleep! come back and train with us soon. for now, we'll train for you. *muacks*