Giving this Christmas

in the midst of the Christmas spending spirit...

in the midst of thinking of gifts to give to people...

my Reuters correspondent updates me on depressing world news...

10 Afghan girls are killed when collecting firewood.

a blast in Kabul kills one and injures 15.

15 others die in a bomb blast in a Pakistani market


All these after a weekend of the Connecticut shooting and China slashing news.

i'm depressed by all the news. and embarrassed by what i consider to be problems in my life. how tiny and significant they suddenly seem.



But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time, it's hard
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dreaded fear
Where the only water flowing
Is a bitter sting of tears - Band Aid "Do They Know It's Christmas"


while we get the joy and the warmth of Christmas, some where out there, people don't seem to remember that it's Christmas. and because of that, others will never know Christmas. i don't understand the need for the hurt. i don't understand the need for the pain.

but i understand the need for prayer for this fallen nation of men all over the world. and i'm praying ever so fervently. time to really think about giving back.

so to the readers here, whoever you may be, i implore you to give.

each year, during Christmas, World Vision beefs up their gift catalogue, both internationally and locally. and it's really not that expensive. a water filter for a school in myanmar is $11 (yet we seem less hesitant to throw money at shops in Singapore). plus there's the ongoing child sponsorship.



it's almost depressing that we need such awful news to jolt us and remind us to give. but better late than never. it is after all Christmas time. it really is time to give.

my friend shared that she was having a meal at far east one day with another friend. when they asked for the bill, the staff told them that their bill had been taken care of.

according to the staff, an old man goes there often to eat. he then pays for another random table along with his food. and then he simply leaves a card,without a name, asking people to pay it forward.

my friend did of course pick another table.

it's these little stories that warm my heart. and how timely, during this season of giving.

Thank you, dear man, whoever you are and wherever you are. in a world of scrooges and hardened hearts that scrimp and keep wealth to themselves, your little anonymous action has touched my heart. thank you for inspiring.

there are times where life can be so amazing that you think it's unreal. just like the lotus i captured from home. my dad's lotus had bloomed in October. the colors are far too breath-taking. people thought it was a photo of a painting until they notice the metal grill that fenced our garden.

yet there are times where the opposite can be so painful that you wish it was unreal.

at the funeral wake last night, it pained me to see my cousin crying over the coffin. my mom could only offer cliche words of condolences like, "you did the best you could to make her last days good ones". what else could anyone say? he really did give his all. i kept silent. i never know what to say at funeral wakes.

i didn't even dare walk up to the coffin where his wife laid in.

they never had kids. i know they tried but it never happened. and now she's gone. and he's alone. every thing felt so surreal. almost too fast even though it's been sooo many years.

of course we wished she was still around. that every thing that had happened wasn't real. that the doctors didn't give up on her. that she was still in Japan getting treatment and getting better. wish that the stomach cancer never happened.

i glanced over to my cousin at the wake a couple of times. he was a wreck, still living in disbelief. thankfully his siblings had rallied their own children to keep vigil with him and watch over him.

perhaps it's God's way of jolting me to understand reality. to remind me that it's the happy things that make us aware of the sad things. and it's the sad things that make us appreciate the happy things. and in their own way, all things are beautiful.


may i keep remembering to see the beauty in all things good and bad, Lord. please help me to keep remembering it.

i saw this off facebook.

in the midst of all the fb likes, shares and "aw" comments, i'm frowning.

so if you really are a selfish scumbag who's an absolute asshole, love means that you don't have to change?

love is not a means to an end. love doesn't make one feel wanted or needed. love doesn't exist just so one will always have company. love is not selfish.

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." - 1 Cor 13:4-7

love is painful. love will hurt. love leaves you empty, knowing that you've given everything and will not get anything in return. love expects nothing in return, not company, not even reciprocated love.

people expect all that. love doesn't.

and simply because of that, love will change people. whether we like it or not.

"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:16-19

personally, i only know love because i know Him. i love because He loves me, not because i've received love in return from the people around me. so in moments where i feel alone, desolate and forsaken by people, i still love them. even if people don't realise that love comes in different forms. even if people don't agree with how i show my love for them. even if people can't tell that that's how i can best love them. i do still love them in my way.

because love has changed me for who i really am. simply because God is God.

without doubt, my favorite female band. of all time.

i never ever had a favorite female band. i have songs i like from female bands but 2NE1... just too amazing to not love. brilliant songs. breath-taking vocals. insane rap and dance from CL and Minzy..

so when S told me that she had a spare complimentary ticket for me, i absolutely jumped at the chance to attend the concert. which meant rushing home after a wedding recep to change and jump into cab to get myself down to the indoor stadium. all that despite a headache and tiredness.

absolutely worth all the weariness.

concert was supposed to start at 7pm. just before 7, the lights dimmed and the music videos projected on the screen were blasting around the stadium versus the much lower volume it was at. after 2 songs, the lights dimmed further... and the poker card symbols flashed on the large screen. blackjacks in the stadium rejoiced.

most punctual concert ever. to think i was impressed by Big Bang for treating me to 15 min of MVs before they came on. 2NE1 is da shyte yo.

it was pure entertainment. being the last concert of their global tour and for the year, CL promised a party. and the group delivered. their live band on stage was just as amazing.

at the end, there was a planned encore, as with all k-wave bands. the bouncing castle slide setup on stage was so psycho. the girls did their two planned encore songs, thanked everyone and returned backstage. some fans left, majority stayed and asked for more.

the girls came back on, beaming. Dara had tears streaming down her face as she grinned at the mad crowd. S and I started tearing up. before they performed, CL turned to her live band just to make sure that they were okay with still performing. TOO RIDICULOUSLY POLITE!

the girls treated the crowd to another three songs. it was a crazy 2.5hr concert. when i left, my ears were ringing, my throat was sore and i had a mad headache from dehydration. the professionalism of the girls left me so impressed. and the entertainment value.. YG Entertainment never fails to deliver.

man.. if only I was free for Shinee this weekend...