something a few friends and i talked about. like how kids can no longer be punished in schools without parents going into overdrive about the kid's self esteem and yadda yadda what-have-yous.

we then agreed that if we ever had kids of our own, we would not spare the rod. simply because we turned out to be healthy adults with no self-esteem issues or anger mgt problems.

then i thought about it. it's simply back to the simple rule of nature: survival of the fittest. (for the lack of a better concept..)


kids born in the 80s used to always get caned or spanked. i firmly believe that the stronger ones always become more resilient. we always found a way to dodge the cane, be it throwing canes away or holding the cane hostage while hiding behind the couch. when hiding was no longer an option, we turn to prevention. we learnt what was approved and what wasn't.

we adapted to the 'abuse'. we grew stronger with each caning or punishment received. we don't have self-esteem issues. we don't blame anyone for our punishments. we take it, we adapt and we remain confident of ourselves as persons.

the weaker ones.. well.. crumble.


it's just part of life isn't it? you get what you give. God forbid that the world becomes filled with spoilt dumbasses. sigh.




on a side note, i think this will be an awesome show..

credits to leloveimage.blogspot.com

28 June 2003. wow.

sure, that was more than 7 years ago. i've had similar moments too. i can assure you that i have never doubted your feelings for her. i don't doubt that the way you feel is different now. it has to be different because you're older. because you've seen more of life. because you've moved on (i hope).

Only God knows how much you loved her back then. How happy she made you. how devoted you were to the girl who made you happy just by smiling and smsing you. How painless the relationship was until towards the end when it started to get screwed up. Only God knows how much pain you went through and how long it took you to finally get over her (assuming that you have already).

i don't know if it still hurts when you mention her now or not. but it probably does. and i'm quite sure you miss her tonnes, whether you admit it or not. you have to. you were seemingly selfless in your pursuit of her affections. she was your sunshine. your light. your hope. you were always bursting to declare how much she meant to you.

i promise, as your best friend, that i'll be there when the next one comes along to make sure that you will love her even more than you ever did with anyone. i'll make sure that she mends your heart if she should ever break it. we'll make the next one work, i promise.

if not, what kind of a best friend would i be if i can't help you be happy? it is my oligation. it is my responsibility. to you, here's to hoping. i'll cope.

you know sometimes you get that feeling that something bad has happened..

you call.. you sms.. no response..

and with every second ticking away, you find yourself becoming more nervous. more anxious. more afraid..


but you've done whatever you can do, short of being a psychotic-stalker..

what do you do?




you simply pray. you simply pray with all your heart that everything is ok. that everything is fine. that nothing is wrong. that the little chill in your heart and uneasiness in your tums will go away once you receive that sms or call.

i'm praying. just praying.

Hong Kong, oh Hong Kong...

it wasn't an intense trip. but it was oh-so-fun. exhilarating. holidays like this aren't going to happen anymore. i just know. each holiday is different from the other.

this one. just.. *sigh*

friday spelt the start of my leave period. or rather thursday evening when i left office deliriously happy and a huge load off my chest and back.


so i'm on leave until next sunday (whoots!). and yes, it's one of them self-discovery break from work. and i discovered that i want to be a stay-home wife/mom.


i'm not kidding.


as the bus trudged along orchard road, bringing me home, i stared wistfully at the afternoon crowd and wished i was part of it. it's not just the shopping. it's the ability to just do what you really want to do. like bake. cook. look after the kids. i actually want to do all that.


speaking of kids, i had the chance of 'influencing' a baby on the train again. the first time i exerted some form of power, i got a baby to nom the blankie. today, i was standing by the door and there was a baby just at the seat by the glass. for convenience's sake, let's address the kid as "he".


the kid was gurgling and grinning widely at me. i smiled back widely and stuck my tongue out. he looked at me, pressed his face against the glass and stuck his tongue, still pressed against the glass. he was just licking glass. i burst out in silent laughter.


anyway, i digress.. i'm not looking for a lifestyle of the rich and famous. i don't need to buy high-end luxury goods. i just want to do what i want to do.


one nice thing about this leave is the little gems that i find along the way. like at the takashimaya food festival, i found a really good roast! Mocambo coffee by the Drago family. even without sugar, the cafe latte had a buttery texture. and the aftertaste is sweet! absolute love. i spoke to the girl serving me and found out that they are opening up a cafe at the promenade mrt station. whoots!!


much to do this leave period. much to do. :)