Do i know it? i like to think that i do. God's been fantastic to me. He's truly blessed me by bringing me thru my trials and letting me come out, scratched, bruised and battered, but keener to live a life truly pleasing in His eyes. ppl have wondered how i cope with my accting subs, law subs, cf committment and dragonboat.
truth is: i don't.
i've lost count of the anxiety attacks since sec 1.. the nights i've cried myself to sleep until i'm too tired or dehydrated to cry more.. the times i've been disappointed by people and things that i thought wldn't.. the moments of giddy sensations from obvious lack of proper rest..
but He never left me. He watches my tears.. He watches me struggle.. yet when i nearly failed my subs (the profs prob didn't want to see me in class anymore so they passed me..), He provided me with a job when i was dreading mommy's reaction to my decision to stay and help in CF and not care abt a job search. such timely providence for someone as lowly as i. but it's nothing compared to Him extending that nailed hand, saying, "I choose you to be Mine."
He's the only reason that i hang on; my one and only priority. He's the only one i worship and chase after. when you stop chasing money, jobs, that cum laude or dean's list position, you get the picture. no longer will you fret abt stuff that will fade. you start living the way we were meant to. in tandem with God at the helm. how many of us have stopped just look at the world and go, "God, thank you for reminding me that You're the creator"?
you don't have to tell me that it's not easy and that we have a responsibility as students. i know it! but your responsibility comes as a response to Christ. and Christ doesn't view grades as impt. He sees whether you're worshipping Him. it doesn't make sense to skip bible study and say to God, "i'll do double QT tonight." God doesn't care how long your QT is. He doesn't care whether you skip bible study or not.
He cares that you push him away and justify it by saying, "but God, you told me to work hard at my job as a student!"
try repeating, "God, i'm doing this for you" while you whiled away that time, once meant for growing in the Word and building your brothers and sisters up in Christ, but now on your homework that's due tmr and you're rushing because you waited until the very last min.. or even that quiz that's the next morning.
conversely, try slacking and repeating the same time. why you slacking? because you don't want to get caught up in your work and lose focus on God. so you watch TV, listen to music, read your christian books until 3 am then wake up at 5 am to rush your part of your project which is due at 10 am that day, saying to God, "i clearly don't view work as more impt than You!". try it. really
i tell you, the guilt will hit you sooooooo badly. the shame of knowing that you're being absolutely selfish, not because you are disregarding others. but because you're disregarding God. you're taking God's word and twisting it to what you want to hear and react to. that's not what God is asking for!
He's asking for you to be diligent in Him, to fulfill basic responsbilities of making sure that your part is done properly to not be a burden to your grp mates... or to spend a little more time with your brothers and sisters instead of trying to pretty up your damn excel spreadsheet so that the prof will give you a few more marks.
this whole issue is very personal to me. i try my darnest to be as God-like as i can and i look to my fellow Christian bros and sisters (who are said to be like-minded) for encouragement. but i get dejected and jaded when they do exactly what i'm trying to avoid. and instead of turning to them for the reminder of God, i look at His creation. not that it's wrong. it's just.. sad that i see Him working in so many other things but not in those who shld show it.
what is it that keeps us going? are we going to realize a little too late that God is really all that we have and all that we need? even now, in times of prosperity with Singapore's booming economy, how many of us will learn that ambitions and career/grade aspirations don't mean crap at all? How many of us are willing to say...
"God, i can earnestly tell you that i've done all i can to please You and only You. You are all i have and all i need. and i leave my life in Your hands to do Your will, not mine. Lead me, God."
Goals for exam period:
People, we are gonna take time out, read the bible and pray for one another, you hear me!!! no excuses of "right after this chapter.." or "one more hour please?"... how many of you read your bible in week 14 and 15 without rushing thru QT? how many of you even read your bible? i know i didn't and i was absolutely down and out. so i dun care. BIBLE READING AND PRAYER MEETINGS HOR!!
the woodcutter from Hoodwinked (the one in the red circle)
this was taken at ginza in tokyo. of all instruments, i think the violin is the most romantic of all.
komeda, their domestic airport. it was sample-haven. i had my lunch there rather unintentionally. but the counter staff were just so friendly. they gave me bigger portions of the samples. and lot of different samples. i ended up buying chocolate cheese cake squares even though i was soo full. but i just cldn't disappoint them.
Liuhe at Kaoshiong. i absolutely love the concept of night markets. there was so much to see. so much to eat! the lights. sure, the stores had the same things over and over again. but if you look hard enough, they will surprise you. at the end of Liuhe, we found a turkish trinklet store. owned by turks. the guy and his daughter were just so friendly.
Nai Cha Jie in Taizhong. the bubble tea was really good!! the milk was sweet but not cloying. plus hot bubble tea is always fantastic in the winter. the pearls weren't as big as those in Singapore but they weren't as small as those in Chun Tang in Taipei. supposedly to be the best in Taizhong. i know i enjoyed it even though my heart still lies with Chun Tang. and the rest of the street had small factory outlets. Gap.. A&F.. Hollister.. American Eagle.. Ralph.. nothing to buy though. it was all stocked for the winter and was still pricy.