festive periods are happy times.

but they are also times where the depressed just get more depressed. to see happy families and couples and all the ppl having fun when those down in the dumps aren't. it's proven. counsellors get more calls at periods like these.

could be the reason for my emo moment last night. i apologize to that very sweet friend of mine who tolerated my emo state and the words of kindness.

on hindsight, i would have coped better if i had a box of dark royce choc.


but the budak pantai concert before my emo state was amazing. there were new songs and i seriously even laughed at the old jokes. jeremy and ben were just rocking in their chairs with laughter. it was a fun night really.

new album, due in mid 2007... still waiting for Leap to come out in the theatres.. still in love with "Leap" by Budak Pantai..

Hey you
you with that fabulous smile
you with that gorgeous laughter
can i talk with you a while
hey you
you with that charming grin
you and your silly manner
i like to know your name

simple lyrics. simple tune.. but just so amazing. all the elements of sweet serenade. i seriously melted the first time i heard that song and Joe's earnest voice. they performed it again last night and i was just grinning while mouthing the words. too bad they didn't sing "Lover's Tears".. or "The Moon Represents My Heart"...

that wld have been the ultimate serenade for the night.

a couple of days ago, it was above 30 degrees in australia. yday, it snowed.

yes, australia is experiencing summer. there is snow in NSW and Victoria.

Snow in Australia (click to read article)

the one christmas miracle (read "miracle" article here) that the firemen were looking for to ease the burden of the bushfires. and it comes on christmas day, the day we remember the birth of our lord Jesus Christ.

things work out in ways we really never think possible.

Merry Christmas, Australia. i miss you.

Melbourne Trip (Part 4.. and the last one too!)

20th Dec
we embarked on our Great Ocean Road (GOR) roadtrip on our free day. accompanied by aunty boon hong, we managed to get out of paying AUD$120 each to paying abt AUD$360 for 7 ppl for a more flexible tour.

our first stop was Geelong where the crazy sisters went for a 30min shopping rush before we stop at Lorne for some pictures by the beach. there were some ppl surfing and i longed to join them. hey, i really wanna learn how to surf but that's pretty pointless in singapore. it was freezing despite the fact that it was summer.

lunch was at apollo bay's seafood cafe where the fish and chips were s'posed to be the best in the town. there was such a wide range of fish but we settled for the butterfish, cod and barramundi after staring at the menu for quite a while. we then reached the twelve apostles just before 2 pm. ok, 11 apostles. one was weathered away.

we then headed for another area where there was more rock formation to look at. we got as far as the "blow hole" and the "thunder cave" before we made our way back to Melbourne. by the time we reached our hotel, it was 9pm. it was Nandos for dinner. fabulous chicken really.

21st Dec
our final destination before home was the Direct Factory Outlet (DFO). i lurve Jay Jay. bought a top, bag and shorts for AUD$40! and just the other day, i bought 2 dresses for AUD$12.50 each at the jay jay in chadstone. i saw this really nice dress for AUD$70 at Gripp Jeans but didn't buy it.

if i had the money and time in Melbourne, i think i would have wiped out jay jay, cotton on, gripp jeans, west co, jean west, hairspa and sportsgirl. absolutely fab, i tell you. we ended off the day with a dozen of krispy kreme to bring home. i *heart* krispy kreme. lurve lurve, i tell you.

mommy says i can migrate to Melbourne. as long as i get married. which means the guy must be ok with living in melbourne. hey, not that i mind. the melbourne guys are cute. yes, little superficial me.. but out of the all the cute guys, don't tell me that there's not one who's christian and able to lead me.

the weather's been good to us. it was low 20s in the morning and by noon, it'd be really cold! apparantly, it snowed on christmas! despite it being 31 degrees the day before.

*look around me*

shucks. somebody fly me back there!!!

Melbourne Trip (Part 3)

19th Dec
an absolutely foodie day awaits me. we head for the Ashcrombe Maze. the rose maze wasn't much from far but upclose, each rose stood out in its own unique manner, be it the usual roses that you see in the stores to the wild roses with the different petals. the lavander labyrith smelt fantastic! the flower mazes were nice but the 7 tier waterfall was a disappointment..

not that it had intended i guess. melbourne's facing water shortage so they had to shut the system off. the chicken pie for lunch was really quite nice. dessert.. was.. funky.

after the maze, we headed to the strawberry farm. picking and eating, we really had quite a laugh esp when pop was stuffing his face so quickly that he burst out laughing and spit on yong and me. at the farm, we went quite mad and bought a semi-sweet strawberry wine and a strawberry port to go with the strawberry and even a chocolate dip.

our last stop was at cellar door for wine tasting. the first whites and reds weren't too nice. the moscanto was fab! sparkling, sweet and not too alcoholic with only 7% in it. i lurve it. we bought 6 bottles of it on the spot. yes, we're quite mad.

when we went back to the hotel, we decided to just have strawberries. not contended with just that, we bought 3 boxes of lord of fries. we ate so much i seriously felt sick.. then there was cheese and crackers and a whole bottle of moscanto. even the strawberries were dead sweet. plus the cherries and nectarines... amazing stuffed dinner.

need to cut back man... but i'm just soooo in love in Melbourne. (sorry, James!)

Melbourne Trip (Part 2)

18th Dec
the day started off with shopping in Chadstone. i love Oz fashion. and their range of hair products.. mind-blowing. i was content with just staring at the rows of products and not buying anything. pressed for time, we rushed through the place before finishing off with Krispy Kreme original glazed donut. magnificant stuff! the glazed devil's food looks terribly tempting but i controlled myself.

first touristy spot for the day was Warrook Farm. it was the usual stuff... feeding lambs and calves, milking cows, watching a sheep being sheared, watched sheep being herded by adorable border collies, feeding kangeroos and oh, more silly pictures naturally.

our next stop was this place called "A-mazing Things". a bit like ripley's corner 'cept it was full of brain teaser nonsensical stuff. it was a good laugh with more silly pictures. after that, we visited to the koala conservatory. those fat little things are absolutely lovely. and yes, teik picked up a dead gutted lizard because it was in a box that said "touch me!". idiot. i warned him against picking it up..

dinner was ok. we had half a lobster each. mind you, lobster. not crayfish. the bloody thing was huge even though it was half. i cldn't eat much rice. plus, i was getting a headache from the PRCs who were busy getting drunk and very noisy in the other table. quickly eating my food, i waited for the group outside the restaurant.

when pops came out, he was terribly displeased. so he started ranting abt the long queue at the guys' toilet. since when did queues form outside the gents? he then explained that two PRC aunties went into the gents and took donkey years. maybe they were experimenting with the urinal? whatever the case, they are disgusting. i saw one spit into the basin and she didn't even bother to wash it away!! ARGH!!!

our last stop was the freezing phillip island to see the penguin parade. after more silly photos in the shop, we headed towards the sea. photos aren't allowed 'cos the fairy penguins are very sensitive to bright flashes and they can be blinded by it. and the trick to getting upclose with the penguins is to walk along the boardwalk back to the main arena because that's where all their burrows are. you will be practically walking next to the birds.

despite the many warnings against photography, i saw a flash a little ahead of me when i was along the boardwalk. it was a stupid PRC auntie. i was seriously pissed off. i followed her for a little while. when she got all shifty eyed and whipped out her camera again, i approached her and told her that she wasn't allowed to take photos. she merely laughed it off and said she forgot.

Yar. and i'm a monkey's uncle.

she quickly shuffled off and i saw red. i approached the first ranger i saw (clearly distinguished by the green windbreaker) and told him to look out for the crazy PRC auntie who was blinding the penguin. he went off in the direction that i pointed him to after thanking me for stopping the auntie with a smile.

a very brilliant heart-melting smile. ^-^

the ranger was hot. sharp features, lovely big brown eyes that you can get lost in, typical boyish features. and no!! i didn't go to him purposefully!! i saw his back even before i saw his face, ok??

sidetracked. but yes, nothing against PRCs 'cept those who push, shove, lack manners, spit everywhere and anywhere, talk loudly even after repeated announcements that loud noises do startle the penguins, don't listen to instructions, smell funny, smoke everywhere 'cept designated smoking zones, talk to you as though you are 500 m away even though you're 50 cm away.. *-*

i know nice PRCs. but currently, it feels as though they are a minority. and in the words of teik in view of the whole situation after the day's tour.

"Their population needs thinning out."

anyhoo.. more photos..

is it a koala? continue scrolling down to other pictures for the answer...

Melbourne Trip (Part 1)

16th Dec
the plane takes off only at 9 pm. mentally calculating, i'm due to reach Melbourne in 7 hours. so that's abt 4 am? but.. melbourne is faster than singapore by 3 hours. so once i touch down, i'm off to the tour.

there's not much to entertain myself with on the plane 'cept the krisworld audio. forgot my mp3 player which is an absolute bummer. there's umizaru 2 so i can watch it. not much fun since i really preferred the first one because it was funnier. this is more action and only centers around Daisuke Senzaki and Kanna.

eye candy count? 1. this Jap looking dude. i'm hopeless. haiz

17th Dec
It's a long long day of little sleep for me. once we touched down, i headed for the coach, intending to knock out before our first stop. instead, i was wide-eyed as the driver drove towards the city, in the direction of St Patrick's Cathedral. after a few morning shots at the Cathedral, we headed to Fitzroy Garden then to Queen Victoria Market before we ended at our lunch destination.

Melbourne's a charming place of old and new, city and country. it's a nice in-between of Perth and Sydney. I've fallen in love with it on my first day there. Queen Victoria ("QVM") has the loveliest nectarines of shades of a young girl's blush in the golden sun. they are fantastically sweet and the cherries just the juiciest and sweetest because they are just so fresh. even the prima donna cheese (aged cheddar) at QVM is fantastic on crackers.

the ppl are friendly and eye candy count has busted. i stopped counting and just enjoyed the sights of pretty sea of green, blue and brown smiling eyes nearly wherever i went.

funny thing happened at QVM though. Sis and i headed to a cafe for a morning perk-me-upper. i went for a hot chocolate and sis decided on her usual Machiatto. so she ordered with a sweet looking asian girl.

"Machiatto to go, please."

"Cappucino," the girl smiled and nodded.

"No no, Machiatto."

"Cappucino?"

Sis was flustered. the Italian guy making the coffee looked up and Sis ordered directly from him. with a, "Ah! Machiatto", he prepared it for her. for a minute, i was wondering if Sis was being difficult. when i looked at the coffee board, they had Machiatto. standard of any cafe, really. we had a laugh abt it after that.

After lunch, we headed back to the hotel finally to rest. watching a couple of movies, we headed out for dinner at the dragonboat restaurant before resting for the day. once our tour guide, victor, mentioned "dragonboat", my family turned to smile at me. yes. i love them too. haiz

photos!

Us fooling around at fitzroy garden

yes, my sister is crazy. but i still love her..

Queen Victoria Market
More photos and updates tomorrow. and i'll try to upload the photos soon! just need to sort them out first...

back from the cruise. my apologies to those who have not seen me online for such a long time. didn't mean to make all of you miss me.. ahaha. joking

the cruise was.. hmm.. beyond words. on the first day, i was still affected by all that had happened over the one week after the exams. overwhelming time for me to have so many small little things bug me. and the food on the cruise is all very. salty. and it didn't help that my family was eating the ship broke..

and my nutty family believes in second lunch and second dinner.. and supper. i was just eating bread all the way. there's smth abt buttered bread, be it rye or plain, and hot tea that keeps me happy. that little brit nut perhaps? oh well. i skipped supper on the last night. i was tired but that didn't stop me from waking up a couple of times.

the second day, i just lazed around, read my book and bible.. absolutely relaxed the entire day and keep all distractions away from going back to what that truly mattered to me.. God. really wanted to come clean with God. i lost sight of Him during the exam period and it just felt depressing at the end of it. but now that's over, i have to make sure that i don't lose sight anymore.

i got a tattoo.. a fake one naturally.

can't think of putting myself thru the pain of a real one. think i'd go quite mad from the needles. oh well. can't really think of anything else to add abt the trip. i'll let the pictures do the talking. :)

walking to the boat

on the deck on the second day with yong.


is it just me or does it look like a scene from loveboat?

morning of the third day. breaktaking, ain't it?

for more pictures, check out my photo gallery at yahoo (here: http://photos.yahoo.com/nookweis/). and oh, yes.. camp pictures are up there as well.. or will be soon enough.. i'm blogging as i upload lah.. hee hee.

it's been a whirlwind dec camp for me.

we had the honor of having Robin teach us from Hebrews, our theme being supreme worship. Robin is a really nice guy. i had the chance to chat with him and he earnestly challenged me. gave me issues to think abt which i will touch on later. and you can see his heart for the gospel in the group chats that he has with everyone.

sure, he pokes fun at me during the talks but in ways that no one would understand unless they've heard the coversations i've had with him during the camp, be it over lunch or in a big group while sitting around. but i give thanks for the reminder of God's word through the very animated and faithful Robin.

the camp was an overall great time as always in terms of the building of Christ's church, be it thru forming tighter bonds or growing in the word. i didn't get to talk to the exco girls as much as i wld have liked to, but i got to talk to suyin, dorcas, evan and elaine a lot more than i would normally have. we were all growing in our understanding of Hebrews together. how fantastic is that?

on the downside, the issues that i've face this camp were a lot more. Robin challenged me with coming out to my Dad abt the fact that i'm Christian. by thursday morning, it overwhelmed me so much. joshua was leading songs and his second song, "heart of worship" hit me soooo badly that i started to cry. thankfully, i was sitting at the side so no one really noticed.

when joshua got to his last song "You laid aside Your majesty", i decided to step out to compose myself. but once i did, i broke down even more. James, on his way to the toilet, saw me and beckoned me to step out for a while. i shared with him the issue of my dad and really cldn't stop crying.

i'm crying because of the pressure that's on me as to whether i tell him or not. God saves by faith, doesn't He? but it's hard to find comfort with conflicting pressures from everyone. right now as i think abt it, i guess i was hoping for just someone to tell me that they've been encouraged by the tenacity.. by my passion for the gospel despite the struggle. no one has done that. and now if they do that, i'll wonder if they are merely saying it because it's on my blog..

and not because they mean it and see it in my life which would then turn out to be false to me.

when i returned to the talk by Robin, i was soo terribly distracted. things that may seem trivial to ppl do affect me very badly. it's just in my nature to be affected. i try not to affect ppl around me but i find it hard to control the impact that things have on me.

during the bbq, i struggled with whether i shld stay over or not. i wanted to go home with suyin to keep talking to her. i've heard that she felt lonely and didn't really have many friends in CF. i tried to make her feel welcomed the entire night but cldn't decide on staying. so out of playfulness, i asked gabe to make the decision for me. he told me to stay for the night.

yet, i struggled with staying as i watched and spoke to suyin. when i went to the rooms to look for felicia, i found fel with lydia. rather quickly, esther ran up looking for lydia because "(lydia's) friend" was just there.. and immediately, i decided to go home with suyin. so i packed my bags.

when it was time to go, everyone else kicked up a big fuss. whether they meant it or out of childish ribbing, it affected me badly. david tried to take my bag out of the car and get me out of the car. dennis started squirting water at the car. and the worst part, i thought i heard them use the title of "vice president" against me. at that split second, i was struck by a thought.

"if being vice president meant staying all the way during the camp with ppl that i'm familiar with and not leaving with ppl who might need a friend or two a little more... i will give up my leadership position. as vice president and as an assistant group leader. to just be a normal member."

and while we laughed in the car after that, the guilt ate me up so quickly that by the time i reached the mrt, i was writhing inside, dying away that it was sooo hard to please everyone. was i pleasing God by leaving the rest at the chalet while i went home with suyin? i smiled and acted normal but inside me was more turmoil added to the morning's problem. (btw, i'm still convinced by my thought.. that if my man-created position is a distraction from doing what i discern is wisest for the ministry in the gospel's perspective, i will give up that position.. be it a job or even a title in the ministry like vice president.)

when suyin got off at the stop before mine, gabriel asked her if she would be going for the christmas party, she said she would try to make it. when i had asked her during the bbq before i talked to her more, she just smiled politely at me without really answering. seeing her warm up a lot more made me really glad. i immediately smsed fel who then provided me with another bit of good news with regards to the smth else we've both been concern abt. i smsed steph my good news and told her to pray for it all.

i had to call dennis. he had put in sooo much effort and sacrificed so much. but he didn't pick up the phone so i left a "missed call". when he called back later, i was unable to thank him properly because he told me not to do so.. and the reason he gave affected me. after hearing his reason for me to not thank him, i thanked him anyway. his reason had nothing to do with why i wanted to thank him.

but once i put down the phone, i burst into tears. the whole day of accumulated issues that may seem small affected me really badly. like i said, it's just my character. i took a shower in hopes of calming myself down so that i would be able to rest for the night.. but it didn't work. so i shared it with da ge, hoping that getting it off my chest would ease it a little. instead, i cried again, terribly awake from the overload.

i'm an absolute emotional nut. and i'm not ashamed of it. as long as i don't affect the ppl around me and as long as ppl know that it's just my character.. i'm praying that writing all this on my blog will allow ppl to not panic when i suddenly break down and also that they will realized even things that are done in jest and without ill-intention does kill me.

so don't bring me down or make me feel bad then tell me that you "didn't mean it". 'cos you can convince me until the cows come home and go out again, i will be affected by it because i know that there is a probability of the fact that i'm an absolute ass and disgrace to the ministry being true. conversely, if you are really upset with me, don't get even more upset because i break down. it's my own personal coping mechanism when i'm very very affected by smth.

i need rest. really.

after my exams on thursday (it's over!!), went to watch happy feet with mich lee, steph, cy, jer cher, david. it was nice to watch a no brainer show and just laugh. disappointed with the udon for dinner though. it was clearly one of those packed ones because it wasn't the chewy goodness that i normally have at the japanese restaurants. but hey, i'm gonna get my bum down to raku at greenwood and they better have fantastic udon or bento sets.

michele lee! gloria jeans!!! gloria jeans!!!


friday, i got chased out of the house due to some... zodiac superstition at home. oh well. headed down to bugis to walk around. bought more beauty products. no more beauty product shopping for me until i actually finish some of them. after that, i returned to sch to meet soph, zhui, daphne and keith for sushi buffet at suki sushi, cineleisure.

the 5 of us ate until we were stuffed. started to find ways of hiding the rice so we didn't have to eat it. plus, it didn't really taste like the authetic short grain rice that i ate everyday in Japan. that was fatabulous rice. i'm gonna eat soooo much of it when i go back next year. but yes, the buffet.. tonnes of tuna and salmon sashimi, unagi sushi, soft shell crab, chawamushi, agedashi tofu, tempura prawn sushi, sake sushi, ice cream puffs..

service was soooo slow though! soph and i had ordered fruits but they were taking far too long. so we made a dash for it before they brought the fruits out. we were far too full anywayz. my second sushi buffet in two weeks. the first being at suki sushi in paradiz with jianxun, eve, daryl, cy and wanting.

i went home, took a shower and rested a bit before heading to ikea. i wanted to buy gingerbread dough. to my horror, the dough was sold out. so i settled for a bottle of non-alcoholic glogg for the peeps to try at this year's CF christmas party.

next stop was holland v to meet mich and yuda. ran into mich on the bus there so we walked around a bit before going to breko to wait for yuda. ordered a chocolate banana stacko (both mich and i were stuffed from our lunches) while yuda settled for pork chops. and the first alcohol of the night, yuda and i ordered a stella each.

pork is a tricky dish to cook. you need the meat to be tender but the outside to brown nicely. too much heat and you'll burn the outside. too little heat, the inside would be too cooked and ends up tough. so you need to vary the temp at different times. this is assuming that you take a normal piece of meat fillet and grill it or make pork chops. but i digress..

it was nice.. to sit there and chat with the two of them. esp when the tv above mich was showing soccer. you can imagine how distracted yuda and i were. we would be talking about one topic then suddenly, we'd bring in what the tv was showing. really felt like jc days when we would sit around, chat and occassionally talk abt soccer in between conversations.

after dinner, we went to wala wala. because it was only standing room in the music room, we went downstairs where there were seats while waiting for eic. i finished my two bottles of bud while mich entertained herself with her 2 25cl of hoegarden white. yuda had his two bottles of tiger and of course, we had to share food. a plate of 7 wings for $10. rather reasonably priced!

it was then i also realized that the lady forgot to check off an order of hoegarden on our receipt so we could claim another one. which we did. we are terrible people, no? ahaha. so we returned to the music room and stood for the entire first set. with aching feet, we returned downstairs to sit and had french fries while yuda finished his last bottle of beer. mich and i settled for a bottle of asahi as it was one-for-one for the entire night. a bit too dry for my liking but it reminded me of japan when i drunk it on a cold winter's night. fun!

stephen came along after a while to join the band for their last set. spoke to him briefly. it's strange to know that a member of a band is your HR partner, lives near you and shops with his wife at the ntuc. too lazy to move from our seats that was near the stairs, i could enjoy strains of more nostalgic songs like "Sunday Morning", "King of Wishful Thinking", "Two Princes" and "Electric Dreams".

it was just... swell to see mich and yuda again. i was content to just sit back and watch them talk abt their nus friends, once in a while injecting some opinions. at the end of the night, yuda declared that i was drunk. which i wasn't. i was just a little giddy due to lack of water and a bit too much alcohol in my system. i was sober enough to be pissed with the taxi uncle for taking a longer route even though i distinctively told him to take the shorter route once i told him my destination.

we need to do it more often. this kind of hanging out and chilling with one another, just enjoying the company. when i teased both mich and yuda just for the kick of it, mich turned the table and teased the both of us. and it just sent me reeling back to jc when i had to endure teasing about both of us. i don't know if yuda was subjected to the teasing back then or not but yes, i had to.

nevertheless, i want to be able to sit around with my dearies and just not worry about anything 'cept growing old. and just because mich told me not to cut my hair short, i'm not cutting it short. hee hee.

MICHELE ENG HUAY HUANG and CHEN SIDING! WHEN ARE WE GOING MAMBO?