Yet another week of lunches consisting of tofu, frozen pizza and instant mee.

I need a care package of frozen tv dinners like bangers and mash or shepherd's pies. And canned soups of many many varieties.

Urgh.

When you fracture your leg, you realize all the things you take for granted.

like the ease of taking elevators without worrying about the door closing on your crutches..

or the ease of stepping off escalators..

or the way you used to slam your foot down on the floor to get rid of pins and needles.


nope. a fracture is really a bitch. i feel so inadequate. I feel small. I hate how my poor maid comes looking for me at 1pm, worrying about my lunch for me. I hate how she fusses over me like a little kid and how reliant i am on her. she's already so busy. and i'm just sitting on my ass.


stupid foot. WAE SO TROUBLESOME?

i need to stop watching videos that make me a little sad about my immobility at this point.



the way each step can be so sharp. so pointed. the feeling when every movement emotes the melody. that wave of satisfaction when you transit from a fluid body wave to snap your body into lines, seeing that precision reflecting back at you from the mirror. the way the body builds up to flow into each move.

even the way excess cloth sound when you exaggerate an action and how your collar falls to expose the neckline that you're so proud of showing to the world.

i miss all this. i really really miss all this. sigh.

Sooooooo.....

the sprained ankle hurt more than usual. because it wasn't just a sprain.

i have two cracks down my right metatarsal. on the last toe. when i saw the X-ray, i was giddy with excitement. for 10s. of "OMG I'M LIKE BECKHAM AND ROONEY NOW"

then after the 10s, i remember that the two boys were out for the season.

and then the dread sinks in with the sharp (not dull but f-ing sharp) pain.

after a series of X-rays (like 6 frames captured in one day with another 4 more in 1.5 weeks time) and visits to NUH and the GP, I'm now on a one month MC with my mac at home. thank goodness i have my mac.

all the work.. all the deadlines. i'm so screwed. i'm not going to have a job when i get back to office. seriously. and it doesn't help that I'm craving beer, ice cream, cider, cheesecake, fried chicken, somaek, korean bbq, and starbucks coffee.

i won't be able to attend my buddy's wedding. i can't meet up with Princess and he's only back for 2 weeks before he returns to Philly. i'm probably missing retrolicious. i'm missing out on F1.

and my goodness i miss running. i miss watching the sunset along the Singapore River during evening runs. i'm going to miss that soreness and tiredness after each of my muay thai sessions. i haven't even re-started my dance classes and i miss it already. i miss feeling the beat. even all the stupid moments in my bedroom, remembering all the choreography that's somewhat ingrained in my muscle memory. i miss all that.


please let these 2 months fly by. please please please.

after a highly strung week of self-inflicted and environmentally inflicted stress..

i find myself now nursing a sprained ankle of the worst pain ever.

i don't think i've ever felt so frustrated and tired. and needy. like i want someone to hug me tightly and tell me it's all going to be alright. and to bring me ice cream and cheesecake. and drive me around 'cos i'm obviously not in the best state to be moving around now. and to tell me that everything sucks right now but it's still alright.

RAWR

i really need to make sure my house in the future can deal with my stupidity and klutziness. maybe have a wheelchair in the house for all my nonsense. if not, who else would look after me?

Never start the diet during stressed out periods.

your stomach will not keep any food in. you'd be forced to eat bread an hour before bed to quell the uneasiness arising from anticipation of gastric in the middle of the night.

you won't have the appetite for anything good for your body except for tea.

you'll end up feeding your face with comfort food. and it doesn't help when your comfort food includes ice cream, cheesecake and mooncake. like seriously. not during this time of the year. when it's the season for mooncake. yummy mooncake.

sigh.

*nursing my hot tea*