you are our solskjaer
our ole solskjaer
you make us happy when the skies are gray
'cos when it's pouring
you just keep scoring
so please don't take my solskjaer away

the last time i heard it at a mufc game, it was in 98. the man utd medley. gosh, i can't find the lyrics for that anymore. ahaha. but that's one part of the song that i really like.

the last time i heard that song? at sunderland's game. it's their game song now. funny that they're playing against sunderland on sat. finally a match that's not on sunday, 10.55 pm. load up on the snacks!! we're winning this game!

now the injurytime legend is leaving us. the one who scored against bayern in 1999 to bring the trophy back home. the one who had saw a 4-goal spree against Forest and had me screaming the house down.. the one who delivered the FA cup against liverpool.. all in our treble season.. the cherubic angel-face striker who had secured a place in the hearts of all mufc fans.

the myspace page had so many msges left for him. i swear, i nearly cried when i read the first page alone. he will be fondly remembered. after all, he's our super-sub.

i don't think any other club has managed to establish players the way mufc does. people will remember schmeichel for his red ruddy nose, screaming at the players on the pitch and scaring the opposition shitless. or cantona with his i-so-cool-you-don't-wanna-mess-with-me air.. or beckham and his free kicks.. what do you remember abt terry? or henry? that they were good players and capts. but no one makes an impact like the mufc players.

ok, i'm biased, fine. but which arsenal fan can forget how ryan giggs dribbled past their line of 'formidable' defenders to flick the ball into the net all by himself.. see my point? ahahaha.

i suppose i deserve the hate msgs after that bit. buut.. it doesn't change the fact that our dear ole gunner solskjaer is putting up his boots. never will we have another solskjaer. there will be other great players, i know. just none like my angelface.

picture courtesy of manutd.com

****

i love my darlings. they can't stop reminding me why they are so dear to me. they spoil me to bits, checking on me thru msn and sms, being concerned for me, keeping me in their prayers even now when i'm far from them. literally.

yar, we're just separated by the aye and cte. but you cannot deny the fact that tuas isn't very near bras basah. boo.

and we haven't had supper together for such a long time! saturday night! saturday night's alright for supper!

going back to the sleek polished boards..

to the 4 by 4 counts of the silky rhythm..

of cuban beats and grinding sounds..

of twirls and shimmeys and styling spins..

i can't wait.

let's hope that the physiotherapist will do wonders for my back this sat.

121 days more to christmas.

why christmas? i don't know. it's not like i'm still a student in cf. i knew that i looked forward to christmas every year when i was in the cf.. not just christmas..

the camps..

the AGM..

the graduation of seniors..

the start of a new sch year..

then it struck me. it's because of events or days like these where the cfers just get together, squeeze into whatever area that's given to us... and eat.

joking!! we don't just eat.. we chat.. we laugh.. we photo-whore with one another..

i don't know how many afterglows i've organized... did one AGM lunch.. one thanksgiving dinner.. started the post-christmas pre-ny party 'tradition'. i remember our first one was at mich's place where we sat around and watched love actually.. the welcome receps..

gosh.. all the memories. i somehow forget the troubles i've faced during the organizing. i remember being fractic but not the reason behind it. but i remember the events i've organized..

just because the faces of the cfers having a laugh.. just gathering together.. taking that time out to chat and get to know one another better..

i feel sooo blessed that i've had the chance to be part of this fellowship.. that opportunity to serve the girls and the guys. sure, i might have been difficult at times.. obnoxious even.. but they took all my sinfulness in their stride and looking at them, there's no way i could sit at the sidelines and not bother abt them.

sure, there are times where i'm tempted to throw in the towel and tell God that i'll serve Him in my own way.. where i don't have to be committed to any ministry but my own. it disheartens me when i find myself giving but people don't respond. when they don't bother to smile at you anymore.. when they treat you like a stranger after one term.. yet when i look at the existing cfers.. the heart underneath all of them..

never could i leave them. when the girls come to me.. i find it soo hard to push them away even when i'm tired.. i try my earnest best to maintain this camaderie. my Lord never pushed me away.. how can i do that to His people?

121 days more to christmas. let's party. :)

****

on a side note, please pray for me. my lower back's been giving me probs.. the muscle relaxers from the doc are not working. they just make me sleepy. Mr Lim, my sinseh, is scaring me with talk of bunched up nerves and muscle problem.. going to make an appt with the physiotherapist soon. just pray for me that i'll be able to get thru the pain for now.. cos as much as i just wanna lie in bed and not move, it hurts to even toss and turn..

20th Aug, 1105-1150..

a spam of 25 mails between 5 girls. we are really quite amazing. and it was just arranging for lunch. oh well, this is one of our better days. when jen is around, we are crazier. every minute, you get pinged due to a new msg. and i'm grateful.. for these crazy girls who keep me going.


love ya loads! drinks and ktv! soon!!


and oh! the other thing that keeps me going.. my wallpaper

i love you all.. like lubb lubb very deep!
**

meeting ended really late.. by the time i left office, it was 9 pm. i waited for the bus for 10 min, decided not to wait.. and walked to the mrt. and what a smart choice it was. opposite me on the train was a really really and i mean really good looking guy.. chiselled.. tall, big eyes.. typical anime man.


but yet strangely enough.. when i took my phone to distract myself from staring at him the whole ride back, i started to smile.. not because of him.. but because of my phone.


yar lah.. whole bunch of uber cute and seemingly random shots.. but the events leading up to each photo.. i still remember fondly. and they made me smile. made me forget my weariness and hunger. forget the drop-dead gorgeous guy. i've got my own bros..

work's been a whole rollarcoaster ride of emotions. of depression and joy.. this was from yday..

***
1100
not having a good day. rather frustrated with just about everything that i don't understand. the mundane matters that shouldn't matter are suddenly blown up. oh bleepity crap. feel like crying right now. really badly.
***
1450
i love Him.

i love how He shows me that He cares.. i love how He reminds me that He's watching over me.. that while He doesn't have to work His magic to tell me that He's never left me, He still does. that giddy sensation of love abounding. if He can do the greater thing to send His own Son to die for me when i was His enemy...

what more to take the steering wheel from this sinful girl He calls His child and deliver her from the king of ulu in Johor back to the ulu of ulu-s in tuas.

when i never prayed for the burden to be lifted..
when i never prayed for the chance to not go..
when i never prayed for a change of plans..

when all i prayed was for me to continue to remember and glorify Him in all that i do and say.. in my work.. in my responsibilities.. in my life.

but He knew all the unspoken fears and anxiety in my heart when i tried to suppress them to face this chapter of my life.. of being far from the like-minded people whom i've grown to love and call family.

lesson learnt? i need to stop trying to be strong. i need to remember that i am weak.. that i am defenceless.. that i am vulnerable.. but He's my fortress and strength and all that i can depend on.

oh my God. i love Him.
***

then last night was after glow too. so we had it at lydia's. it was fun to sit around with the usual bunch and chat.. thiang's finally back too. got to catch up with ppl like xy, ben, josh, dan.. then it was supper. the amazing 9 of us squashed into nat's car. back seat was kenji, ben and winston. the middle saw kelly, bj, jt and me. then marcus drove.

really quite an odyssey.

but i love the laughter.. the randomness of our chit chat.. can't wait for the next time i get to catch up with them again!

6th Aug. location: tuas. again.

1.05 pm
still no lunch. i'm actually faint. i hope i dun pass out. like really really. crap.

1.17 pm
stomach aching. eyes are glazed. kinda light-headed. finding it hard to focused. double crap.

2.38 pm
finally had lunch. the team is pretty subdued today. i want my lee hom singing to me.. but with boss boss around, i don't quite dare to take out my earphones. i foresee OT tonight. leader's training? triple crap. i'm depressed. thank God for the ever-so bubbly FC who makes me smile.

5.08 pm
God really works in ways that i can never fanthom. i'm going back to the office at 6 pm after all. which means i can go to sch from there and for leader's training. which also means that i'm gonna be working late into the night for today and tmr. but i don't really care. i miss my dears too much. i miss that seemingly euthopia of a fellowship..

FC made me laugh when i went to look for her. gosh, she really makes this more bearable. still feeling floaty though. not much of an appetite too. need to buy gastric pills. please don't let me be sick.

7th Aug. location: home sweet home.

12.22 am
should really be sleeping. back still aching when i bend. dun like. feels good to see the cfers again. don't know if i can make it for Mark studies tmr though.. and hopefully i can make it for afterglow. i just don't like missing them..

that sense of familiarity. fine, it's too "perfect" a christian life with them.. to know that you can turn to them and pray together.. to really just share lives and know that they are people willing to glorify God and worship Him with their entire lives.

and to you all.. out-reach hor, people! when i come back and visit, you better be doing it!! lubb you all deep deep! miss you!

last night went to wala wala with yuda and mich. i like how we can just sit there and not say anything. the "chill" band was good. they sang all my fave chill songs too! during a chorus of "chasing cars", the lead looked over to our side and smiled briefly. whee~

and that someone was there too. heez. jiali cld tell by my insane grin when i told her abt the night at wala wala.

work's just fluctuating now with the end of one of our phases. then it's a new job and JB for me. not looking forward to it. i wld rather be in woodlands. at least still on singapore island. plus there's ecd too. haiz. i wld prefer to count inventory in taiwan factories too.

oh, got a visit from a ducky today. super funny.

currently ODing on Ronin's "One More Moment". it reminds me of Howie Day's "Collide". not the tune. but the overall feel of the song. i can listen to it over and over again but that one particular line will still stand out.

"i found i'm scared to know i'm always on your mind."

it's one of those lines that i'd just fall for. esp if you change it a little.

"i found you're scared to know you're always on my mind."

it's just something that struck me when i was walking in as that song played on my mp3 player. Ronin's "One More Moment" is one of those with sweet cliche lyrics. but the acoustics are just so soothing. (have bolded the particular lines that stood out..)

One More Moment

don't take too long to say "i love you" to the ones you love

cos time has a habit of slipping away

and out on a clear blue sky when lightning strikes on a sunny day

just take me in and keep me from the rain

and the words that seem so hard to say

come out when you've gone away

stay a little while and hear me say

that i want you here tonight

and i need you by my side for just one more moment

for just one more moment with you

turn away and say good bye to each and every word that passes by

like a distant memory

and time keeps slipping away and time will turn to gray

and time will be the one who holds you down

and the words that seem so hard to say

come out when you've gone away

stay a little while and hear me say

that i want you here tonight

and i need you by my side for just one more moment

for just one more moment

that i want you here tonight

and i need you by my side for just one more moment

for just one more moment with you

sometimes time will treat you bad

before you even know what's wrong

in the end it hits you hard

please tell me you'll be strong

one last thing.. i know i've already planned an outing to wala wala 6 years from now. but that doesn't mean that we can't go there or anywhere else in the 6 years in between, you hear me? ask me out!

****

been thinking thru some stuff that's been happening in my life. how everything's playing out. all that i never wanted to happen to me seems to be happening. but i've realized that i don't need to know where i'm going from here. i already know my final destination. but i feel like a sprinter who's walking because the sprinter here just has no idea which route to take now. whatever route i take, i just gotta keep trusting in Him.

right?