so of the frivolous english dance music i like, it's usually LMFAO, Dev and the Cataracs and Far East Movement for me. insane beats.

so when LMFAO posted this on their official facebook page (as reported by allkpop.com), i was, well, pleasantly surprised.

image taken from allkpop

most people would already know how Party Rock Anthem sounds like, given the amazing number of times it's overplayed. presenting to you, GD & Top's High High. Enjoy. ^^

as i continue to search out a house, i keep thinking of ways to make the house mine. to make it feel like a home.

i want to put my touches to it. to make it somewhere i can stare at and think, "this is mine. i made it mine."

so from trying to figure out what kind of a layout or decor i want.. to ideas of a mini wine cooler by the TV and two island trolleys (one for snacks, one for drinks).. how to best fit groups of people.. how everything in the kitchen must be ideal for cooking.. it all just points to one thing.

i want to host.

i want to fill the house with memories of friends talking over meals, laughing over shows, confiding over drinks.

beyond the DIY, it's the hosting and memories that make my place mine.


i can't wait. ^-^

stories of my uni.


a student got an A for a class. he wrote the prof an email, asking why he did not get an A+. the prof explained why. the student then emailed the head of the faculty to say that the prof had something against him. the head said that it's the discretion of the faculty to grade students.

so the student emailed the prof about the 'flawed' structure and said that he was going to write to his MP and to the press. after a month, the faculty requested the prof to review the grades.

the prof decided to grade the student more fairly. the student got a B.

the student naturally got pissed off so the matter went all the way to the president of the university. the president stood by the prof's assessment of the student and said it was not their place to interfere.

how do i know? i came to know about the story through the prof. and this prof is unabashedly honest and one of the most believable guy i've known. doesn't help that i know what he's capable of.. being overly nice to people then brutally honest when they deserve him.


even if it were mere exaggerations or story-telling to make his already exciting life even more exciting…


it's an awesome story nevertheless.

restless weekend until Sunday came. too many dreams or nightmares that are too vivid. i even remember them.

especially the one where the rain woke me up from.

i was going to get married. not to some faceless guy. to someone i knew. someone whom i know marriage to is not an option in real life. not that it matters now.

even within the dream, there was an eerie unsettling sense of foreboding. i remember the conflicting thoughts. then after a friend, an ex-colleague, checks in on me, the friend hands me a cigar, telling me to go relax and think about it more.

i walk to an empty carpark. i light up. i tell myself not to inhale completely, taking a drag of the cigar and keeping it in my mouth while still breathing through my nose. the woody smokiness circles my mouth like a double scotch without the drying burn and i blow the cigar smoke out through my mouth, taking care to not let it into my lungs.

i look up and see another friend. another ex-colleague. he knows i'm struggling. we talk for a while. i ask him how he knew it was time for him to propose to his gf, a girl whom i consider a dear friend both in my dream and in real life. the lines between dream and reality were blurring.

he said he knew when he realized she made him a better person. on hindsight after finishing "Mocking Jay" on Sunday, it's like Gale telling Peeta that Katniss will choose the guy she needs to help her survive. Katniss needed hope.

my dream reflects me. i need hope. i need someone who loves me. i need someone who understands how to love me. i need someone who'll love God more than he'll love me 'cos only then will he understand that i'll always love God more than i'll love him. only then will i be made a better person. only then will i survive.

i thank the friend for his help. i snuff out the almost finished cigar. i walk away from the friend, full knowing that i'm going to walk away from the marriage as well.

as i walk, my shoulders are lighter. i'm smiling. i'm relaxed. the sense of foreboding fades.

the rain wakes me up by pounding outside. i stare at the rain in the morning sunlight. i feel it almost like it's a fresh start with the new sunlight pouring through my window as the rain washes away everything else. i am still tired from interrupted sleep as i close the windows. snuggling back to bed, i sigh.

i know i started dreaming the time my head hit the pillow, flitting from one dream to another. but the dreams are lighter. funnier.

even now, i'm still tired from all the dreaming and interrupted sleep. too many things to think about with life and work piling up. but i'm pretty sure i'll work through each subconsciousness. somehow.

i remember the first time i cried and prayed 15 years ago.

i remember the first (and last) time i dropped the blade and prayed 13 years ago.

i remember the first time i questioned His validity 6 years ago.

i remember the first time i decided He was a hope to cling to 5 years ago.

i remember the first time i was shaken in my faith 4 years ago.


and he's right there with me. whether i notice or not. always.

today, i remember the Jew who bled and died on the cross in my place as an atonement for my sins, to rise on the third day of his death to tell me that if he could conquer the grave, what more could he do for me?

nothing more. that's all i really needed from him. to set me right. to give me hope. a little reason to believe that this life is worth living even when everything's in a mess. i do not question why he doesn't help others. i give thanks that he chose me right from the start. there's still so much more to learn. so much more to question. so much more to discover.

may i always remember to give thanks.