My exams are coming up.. starts on monday and ends on wed.. following is the schedule for the rest of the year..

27 Nov: morning shopping followed by studying in school
28 Nov: A.Audit exam 2 pm @NSR2.1 SOA
29 Nov: Study
30 Nov: Income Tax exam 9 am @NSR2.2 SOA; Ethics exam 2 pm @SR3.4 SOB; Mambo night!
1 Dec: Rent Musical; Siam Supperclub (this one is strictly for girls only! if interested, let me know!)
2 Dec: Lunch Appt with Granny
3 Dec: Sleep
4 Dec: StandChart 21 km; Debz 20th bday
5 Dec: First Aid Course; Dinner at Jeri's
6 Dec: First Aid Course
7 Dec: First Aid Course; Chalet
8 Dec: Chalet
9 Dec: Chalet; Jane's 21st
9-12 Dec: Bangkok Trip
13-16 Dec: Suntanning/K-ing/Morton's martinis and steak sandwich/Bakerzin!
17-24 Dec: Taiwan

ok.. that's all that's planned for now.. waaaaaah... i'm getting stressed just by looking at it. still can't confirm my house for christmas. haiz. hoping to secure it. 3 projects in progress...

~ BGR course ~
This is an interesting one. i came up with a very simple concept at my first cf bgr talk. and it somehow evolved to this:
- BGR101: Who (to choose)?
- BGR102: When (is the timing right)?
- BGR103: What (to do)?
- BGR201: How (to maintain)?
- Elective: Singlehood is worth rejoicing.

so far, i've got materials for most parts. if anyone has more suggestions or would like to contribute, do let me know. i'm actually serious about this.. can it be considered a handbook? erm... i have no idea. But it'll be fun.. muahahaha

~ SMUCF Logo ~
I've been thinking of creating a nice logo for the CF. but never got around to doing it. so we've been using Bok's one old. it's really nice but unless it's black and white, it's not very noticeable.

My plan? i'll make it into a logo design competition! hee hee.. and i'll sponsor the prize. it's not going to be something expensive, i apologize. likely to be a nice book or rather, a book voucher which means greater flexibility for the winner? i derno. will need to develop this further and talk to the exco about it. great thing abt this is that we get the cfers all working together... a greater sense of belonging? hopefully.

nevertheless, it should be interesting if it works out.

~ SMUCF X-mas Party ~
last year, we had a small one at mich's place. this year, it'll be bigger. if i can get my house.

i derno.. if i can't get my house, it's then likely that i won't have enough time on my side to do much of the planning, right? if i can secure my place for the 27th, it'll be massive, i promise. we'll have it true party style.. appetizers, main courses, desserts, drinks (bring on the glogg!)... of course it'll be themed and the usual gift exchange style.. i'm dreaming a little too ahead. i can't even confirm my house yet. annoying sia.

***

Besides all that, xiang's got his "angel talk" strip coming out... i'll be missing the preview of Narnia on the 19th (damn! you guys better watch with me when i come back!). and Caroling in January as well. still derno how active i wanna be with regards to that. i mean, c'mon, i cannot sing. david c tried to threaten me into joining the project..

"if you don't join, i'll join!"

I gave him a funny look.

"then you join lorh."

idiot.

Btw, thinking about next term's fun/sportsday suddenly... anyone got any fresh ideas? i'm becoming a little stale already.. losing steam. year 1-4s are welcomed to take it from me.

And the battle continues...

me (to yc)> hey police!

jt (sitting opposite me)> Puddings? why is he "puddings"?

*sweatdrop*

right.. "dearie" is not affectionate enough right? "puddings" is a lot more affectionate, ain't it? oh well, not one to be defeated by the boy previously known as lemming, i shall henceforth declare his english name as puddings!


everyone.. yc has another english name. Puddings. puddings samuel chen. please address him as such. to the guys out there, you can be as affectionate as you want to when addressing him. thank you.

MSN
(conversation window with Steph)

Me@10:36:02 pm> dearie

Me@10:36:11 pm> u look reeeeeally tired

Me@10:36:15 pm> oh

Me@10:36:19 pm> chey

Me@10:36:26 pm> yc.. this is not meant for u



shoot me... somebody.. anybody.. shoot me.



How was I to know that he was using steph's computer!!!!!!!!!?????!!!?!??!?!



alternatively, wake me up from this nightmare.



and if you're wondering, it's 10:51 now.. and i'm still cringing inside..

From where we last left off...

The happy troopers left Magic Wok and made for Bakerzin at Raffles City in search for good desserts. When they settled down, cakes were ordered. Soon, another joined them and three more cakes were ordered. and thus begins the journey..

ok, so i'm crapping. i'm trying to make it sound pretty but obviously, it's not working. anywayz, we order a number of cakes at bakerzin. delish! forks were picked up, cakes were poked at and eaten.. and the gorgeous choc liquor. simply breath-taking.

isn't it a beauty? the fudge was so thin and rich at the same time. the cake hinted of slight liquor, leaving us stumped at the amazing sensation on our tastebuds. we were all swooning and bryan was drunk with euphoria. did i mention the juicy liquor injected berries? jingting and i were savoring it until dorcas remarked with half a berry in her mouth.

"i don't like alcohol."

we laughed and continued the cake. but it wasn't the only good stuff around.. the warm chocolate left us in anticipation.

of course bryan chose to be funny and insisted on taking shots after shots of the cake despite our complains abt the melting vanilla ice cream. once he was done, all the forks dove down for real this time. by the time everyone had their first bite, the cake looked... mutilated. but the rich thick chocolate syrup oozing out of the cake left us smiling for a while.
when we were done, dorcas declared that a group picture be taken. calling the waiter over, we wanted to stand with our backs facing the road but decided we wanted the cafe to be seen. so we turned around and jon pan stood at the entrance where the signage was. we then made our way over and the waiter snapped a shot once all the girls smiled brilliantly. then bryan wailed.

"I wasn't ready!"

after the second shot, the waiter brought out the next camera and after the flash went off, bryan wailed again.

"I wasn't ready again!"

so we took another shoot. ahahaha.. i decided that the nicest picture will go up! i had to crop the picture though.

food was good.. company was fun.. the view even better! everything just looked sooooo good that night! and jingting would of course know what i'm talking abt..

It's annoying.. i've been gettting weird comments... but i don't wanna delete the "comments" link. so i've relegated to moderating my comments and deleting nonsensical ones. and i would like a new template too.. so tempted to not study and do up a pretty template to relieve stress.. but i digress from my motive today.. revert.. revert...


at times, i really don't need that additional stress..

i don't feel terribly stressed 'cos it's been accumulating even before school started.. things that snowball really slowly are harder to detect 'cos your system just adapts to it easily. but when your prof can tell that you are stressed just by looking at you, it has to account for smth. so when prof tay pointed it out to me, i smiled back weakly. when i tell people my schedule, they think it's crazy when i run from meeting to meeting, from class to class..

and yet i don't feel it. i haven't had "moments" since the mid-week break.

"moments"?

yea. "moments" are what i call times when i have difficulty breathing. disclaimer, i do not have asthma. but there are times when i just find it hard to breathe and my whole chest constricts. after a while, the long painful deep breaths give me a throbbing headache where all i can do is to sit and close my eyes 'cos the dancing black and gray spots make me giddy. and i'm just praying for the headache and "moment" to go away. i cannot lie down 'cos it worsens the whole thing.

right now, i guess there's a really thin line between crashing and staying alive for me. i'm merely hanging by the thread and yet people threaten to cut my lifeline over and over again. when they snip it, i throw a thinner one to hoist myself up. but i'm going to run out of lifelines soon. i am going to crash and burn.

i've been to the edge and back abt twice i think... the first time, i was so stressed, i semi passed out.. then had a falling sensation. and i cldn't shake out of it. i just kept falling. when i finally shook out of it, i was lying on the bed in cold sweat. being young (i was only in primary school), i burst into tears.

the second time was in smu, during corp reporting class. there was a sudden pain in my chest and i couldn't breathe properly. my lungs tightened and i cldn't even take slow deep breaths which just made me panic. my head was giddy and i couldn't sit up straight as the pain seized my shoulders. i remember staring at jane who was pretty worried. i cldn't even take a sip of the water and my eyes were all teary.

and i've broken down once. where i sobbed until i was hiccuping away and couldn't breathe properly. my older sis was so worried 'cos she could see the vein at my temple. it was throbbing so badly that i cried even harder.. that night, i realized that there is such a thing as tearless crying. and it's an awful feeling 'cos your chest just tightens with each tearless sob.

so i really don't need additional stress. unless you're keen to see me in the hospital, then bring it on. actually, it may do me good. why don't people just knock me out permanently?

Week 12(7-11 Nov):
- BOSS (who wanna bid with moi?)
- A. Audit Presentation

Week 13(14-18 Nov):
- Spanish Quiz
- Income tax report
- FIIM report

Week 14(21-25 Nov):
- Spanish Oral Exam
- FIIM quiz

Week 15(28 Nov - 2 Dec):
- A.Audit exam
- Income tax exam
- Ethics exam

4 dec: Standard Chartered Half-Marathon

Week 16(5-9 Dec):
- First Aid course (tentative)
- Dec Camp

9-2 Dec: Bangkok Trip

17-24 Dec: Taiwan Trip (unconfirmed)




*Deep Breath*


No matter how i look at it, it still spells "Crash and Burn" in flashing neon lights framed with sparkly Christmas lights. i think i'll crash in bangkok and burn when i come back to Singapore.. to pick up the pieces of my splittered self to enjoy taiwan. if i don't go taiwan, i refuse to go to oz or anywhere in the southern half of the world or the tropics. I need to feel that freezing sensation on my cheeks once more.. to feel that cold biting wind in between my fingers so i can breathe out warm vapor on them once more... so that it truly feels like it's going to be christmas again.

My dearies, it's time to line up the Christmas, post-Christmas and pre-new year parties!

But first, the crazy sem at SMU.


*newly invented expletives*