at lunch today, I took a bite of the tofu side dish before abandoning it. it was then I saw that my boss had finished his.

me: how did you finish it. it was so bland

boss: used it to balance out my very flavorable bibimbap

me: but you kept adding sauce to your rice as you ate!

boss: had to balance out the tofu


i am so done with that man.

the awkward moment when the person who "secretly" hates you finds out from you that you know...

Trapped by far too many frustrating situations. Praying for it to all pass.

After all it's just work. Why am I killing myself over it?

Because it's really just work.

Right?

"When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel you're drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyone's a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say...

When you wanna give up, and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes...

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are..."




still writing out my own happy ending.. let's see where this takes us.

maybe I should just bury my head in the ground and wait for suffocation to overcome me.

ah. fuck.

finding it hard to do anything when no one tells me or updates me on matters that I'm required to follow up on.

on the bright side, if everyone else is getting updates and not me, it should be pretty easy to leave when I do quit. since I don't have anything to update or inform because I don't know anything and they know everything.

was queueing up for breakfast this morning. front of the queue was a Bangla trying to order earnestly. he kept pointing at the deep fried dimsum he wanted and the auntie kept trying to confirm the food by asking him if it was "xx" or "yy".

he clearly struggled and the lady next to him was just staring at him.

after a while, I thought it was ridiculous that the lady was not doing anything so I decided to help. but before I could say a word, the man in front of me yelled.

"SPRING ROLL. SPRING ROLL."

typically, I may have laughed at the man's reaction. but not today. I was pissed. pissed beyond measure and so incredibly angry. the man was clearly annoyed. clearly frustrated that he was not being served and getting his food.

why was I pissed?

because the Bangla was clearly buying food to go because he had to get back to his laborious work outdoors. yet, the man found it righteous to be pissed off that he could get his food to sit in the food court leisurely in the air-con to eat before returning to his air-conditioned office to continue sitting on his fat ass to work.

you have got to be kidding me. who gives this man the right to think that service to him comes before service to others? the greed for self-satisfaction, for self-importance... to essentially be such a selfish bastard... such is the depravity of man who has put himself as King in his life.

people no longer look to serve others. if people like this man fester, there will be no more kindness, patience, or love. everyone will be rotten. just as Adam was. just as disobedient Israel was. just as the Jews who crucified Jesus was.

sigh. such is the depravity of man who doesn't truly understand God for who God is and instead clings to what he wants God to be.