i know why i've given up on most english music.

like seriously. at least one One Direction photo will appear on my instagram popular feeds. really? the teeny bopper band that lip synced during the Olympics? I would have rather them tone down their jumping/dancing to sing properly and show the closing ceremony a little more respect. C'mon, you were performing with Brian May and Take That.

the kpop scene doesn't lie about lip-syncing or singing live. there are bands that are known to lip sync so they can concentrate on the dance which is their selling point. for others, you hear their voices disappear to the main track playing when they are dancing. you hear their actual voice rise up against the track playing. you hear the tiredness. you hear the strains. you hear them sing.

there's the added training of writing and composing songs for the younger groups.

sure, 2pm isn't writing their own songs. but they are moving in that direction. you see some of their names appear as lyricists and composers as they spend more time in the studios. and it's decent songs.

and there's Big Bang. with the mad talented Kwon Ji Yong. the blonde rapping wonder who writes his own songs on his own album. before i even knew he was writing the songs, he was my favorite. this pint size bundle of energy was leading the group to do wonders on stage.

then B.A.P breaks out on the scene in early 2012. a young group addressing themes like societal judgement, being trapped by rules that don't make sense, running towards their dreams, rising up against the challenges. the most intense songs were about stalking and then revenge on a lover. eerie lyrics with such emotions behind the deep husky rap by the leader. so since the leader, another blonde yummy rapper and my fave, is just a 22-yo, i thought to enjoy their music without thinking about the lyricists or composers.

when watching their very first showcase on youtube last night, i realized that my favorite 22-yo contributed as lyricist for ALL THE SONGS.


what the hell?

such raw talent. and he knows that he's still lacking. he looks back on his older songs, critiques them, and pushes himself further. he was already my fave before i knew how talented he was.



forget english songs

i'm in love with my blonde talented rappers. hahahahahaha.

having missed morning service yesterday, I headed over to church in the afternoon for the afternoon service with questions from the previous week sermon. I had to get my answers from Denesh so I dragged myself to church.

when I got there slightly late due to the jam, I found myself sitting in the middle of two of my favorite boys from Uni days. it felt like 2006/2007 all over again.

Then our closing song? "Servants of the gospel". our "anthem" back then. I smiled inwardly.

it felt like university again. surrounded by familiar and unfamiliar faces. cheeky smses circulating before and after the sermon. a message so resounding. songs that remind me i'm not alone in this walk..


i'm home. after the prayers and consideration in December, i'd made that decision to move. and now, i'm home. ^-^

During QT yesterday while reading John 4, i got to this part:

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:7-10)

my stupid brain then went:

"hey, remember Secret Garden? When Joo Won told Gi Ra-In to follow him and she asked him who he was that she should follow? Then Joo Won told her that if she knew who the person asking her to follow was, she would apologize and ask to go with him?"


i stopped short and looked up from the passage… wtf, brain??? urgh.

Spending the end of 2012 and the start of 2013 in Hong Kong was simply... incredible. mad fun. insane love for my friends who are in Hong Kong. one of the best trips i've done in a while, the last being Melbourne with the girls.

that ridiculous hike in Sai Wan, reminding me that there is an intelligent design behind the scenes, moulding each mountain and valley. that there is an intelligent design behind why things work. reminding me that there is an intelligent designer behind it all.

and i'm still amazed by how easily the few of us re-connected despite not seeing one another since graduation when they moved to Hong Kong to work. the conversations flowed so easily. and everyone would quieten down when the food arrives. and automatically, someone will take the lead and say a prayer for the food and the friendships that we formed so many years ago.

such a far cry from our uni days where the slowest to respond would be the one to pray for everyone before the meal. like praying was such a hard thing.

gone are those days.

in place of that, i see young adults absolutely grateful and thankful for friends, food, and well, life in general. that in the ugliness and nastiness, we have it good. and we thank God for all that, never stopping to pray for those in need when we can't physically lend a hand or voice.

it's been an awful end of the year. with all the dismal and depressing news. the usual question of "if God exists, why is there pain? especially during the time we remember his birth?"

on a side note, i've never maintained that Christmas is the day Jesus was born. for as long as i've been a Christian, Christmas has always been the day to remind me to continually remember that Jesus was born.

but back to the point of suffering, i remember reading CS Lewis' (bless that dear man) "Problem with Pain". the summary of it was simply, it had to happen. for us to understand blessing. for us to understand grace. for us to realize what fallen creatures we are. for us to appreciate what God has done by sending His son to die on the cross and make things right in His time.

I still grapple with that fact every day. why me? why not someone else? why not those crying for help? why make the pain of others so incredibly painful?

honestly, i never have an answer for that. i'm completely unworthy of His grace. completely undeserving. completely unable to comprehend the design that brings joy to some and pain to others.

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?” - Romans 11:33-34

may i continue to grow more and more this year. to continue seeking to understand more. to question more. to learn more. that i may learn to appreciate the design that's set so many things in motion. this is my prayer.