ok, after a spat of emo blog post and a bit of mandarin from me, i decided there needs to be an update on other issues. ahahaha.

*****

1. thanksgiving dinner

it was really fun. just meeting up with ppl. listening to liyang and victor talk. i was really contented to just sit there and listen to them. something i miss ever since the seniors left. i wonder if the younger ones will miss us the way i miss them. :P

the videos came and it just brought back fond memories of all that transpired in my four years in SMUCF.. all the friends.. all the laughter.. all the times we just saw one another through it all and prayed for one another. i can't ask for a better fellowship than these people.

how things came one full circle for me. just seeing ppl again like liyang, vic, chee wee, desmond, fangkai, wai.. ppl that i've not seen for the longest time. fred doesn't count. he's neighbor.. ahahaha.

then going home to read the notes. that's when the floodgates started while i was on my bed. gosh. who remembers foc 2006? and now, foc 2007 is on its way.

2. Dinner with the girls

i love my dear girls so much. dinner was fun. company was just fantabulous along with our two honorary members at the dinner. just wish more girls were there. after that, some of us headed to tcc for coffee and chilling. yay!

*****

right now, i've got bintan this weekend before i start work on wed. hopefully things will work out fine. funnily enough, one topic seems to come up quite a bit now when i meet up with people.. bgr.

i've had friends telling me that they don't want to be alone.. a couple of girls. guys? they just move on to the next girl very quickly after they lose hope with another. so it's their way of telling me that they are just afraid of being alone. i was asked if i was afraid.

strangely enough. i am afraid and not afraid at the same time. like when the time comes when all my friends marry off, what'll happen to me? when i grow old, will there be a family for me? will i ever be a housewife? but.. i'm content. with all that He's given to me and will give to me. i can't think of anymore things to ask of Him then just more understanding of who He is and how i can continue to please Him.

oh well. que sara, sara. whatever will be, will be.

after gym, i wanted to roam around school to take pictures. but when i walked around, the schoold felt cold.

empty.

like something was missing.

ended up not taking any pictures.

what's a photo of a place without meaning?

what's a place without the people that make it feel like home?

then at starbucks.. followed by manhattan fish market.. followed by tcc.. places so random and new. yet they held so much more meaning for me during that period when i was with them all. my girls.. the boys.. my dears that i just hold on to so tightly.. haiz

********

在这一瞬间的我还是很怀念那四年的完美回忆

那每一份每一秒的完美回忆

不知你是否也会这样的想念我

somehow my visits to kimage have been more interesting. i went today to do my hair and it was really quite fun.

my stylist, mei li, was just sooo busy. she was running up and down and kinda left me alone for a while. the poor girl had no chance to eat! but she was most entertaining and just such a joy to talk to during the whole thing.

while waiting, i just heard the funniest conversation between the instructor and a student

Teacher:你有头吗 ("头" is the slang for customer)

Student: (points to head, grinning.) there.

i was just laughing to myself. lameass, i swear. despite the terribly long time i spent in the salon, it was just... erm.. reminiscent of the first time i went there. my first visit, i had a male student cutting my hair. when his hand brushed my ears, i blushed. my ears are so super sensitive can!

there was this guy waiting for his gf behind me. so he was sitting at the table diagonally opposite me and our eyes met through the mirror. after that, i was casually glancing into the air when i realized that he was looking my way again. when i caught his eye, he quickly turned his face away. and when it happened a few other times, i got kinda annoyed.

fine. he's cute. but gf! hallow?

at least there was a cuter hairstylist to look at. and i realized, dark ash blonde is a really really nice color. fine, that cute hairstylist had dark ash blonde hair. and he had the nicest hair color among all! not the best style but the best color. he had a very normal style that you'd see on most taiwanese boyband members.

but yes, it was a fun trip to kimage as usual. wonder what my next experience will be like.

and noo.. wine and vodka do not go. my younger bro and pop can testify to that. they are the funniest when they are drunk and red. hilarious.

old habits are hard to break. esp when you're so used to a certain way of life..

i can't stop wanting to be there for them

i can't stop trying to help them scare their competitors

i can't stop not meeting up with them.

good habits are alright, i guess. just slight emptiness bound to happen when it's all removed all too suddenly. but one habit is not going to change. i'm never going to stop loving the people i love.

*********

yet when a "habit" changed for the first time, i cried myself dry. maybe because i was worried about how much we were changing and leaving behind. or maybe because for the first time in 3 years, it felt like you did care for me.

在这样的夜晚，我会把mp３的声音调高。那样我才不会胡思乱想。但今晚，思想却淹没着歌声。眼泪就是因为你而在回家的路上流。

我想现在的我可能已经把事情搞到有点复杂

也许是这件事使我烦恼到睡眠不足，有时在夜深人静中就不禁掉眼泪

但不必为我而担心

那也不会让我的心情平静

给我多一点时间

现在的我最不希望你们也烦恼

更不需要你们的唠叨

我只有个要求

请为我祈祷

********************
don't worry... i don't think i'll write in Chinese often. just for tonight i guess. cldn't help myself while i wrote it on the bus. but chinese, at this point of time, just seems to be more expressive as compared to english. oh well.

absolutely random post. but i wanna do smth to my hair. derno what. highlight? soft rebond? derno. just bored of it. any suggestions for one that's gonna be a boring KPMG idiot?

finally back from a weekend trip to bintan. as usual, we headed over to banyan tree. the custom officer was actually a nice start to the trip. indonesian custom officers are kinda stereotyped as being slow and inefficient and not the most friendly ppl around.

and i got a nice officer! he just made small talk and teased me about banyan tree. it was a really nice start. even nicer when we were sitting in the waiting area for banyan tree occupants while everyone else was standing around the terminal, squashed with their own groups.

one thing i have to say.. banyan tree is really boring. fine, perhaps it wld have been fun with the right "someone" but i just really lazed by the pool or read my book or transferred my poems (yes, finally..) to my proper poem book. or it was the jacuzzi.. or a very very foamy outdoor bath complete with water jets and yummy smelly bath salts. and i was honestly bored to tears.

hopefully angsana will be more fun. going for spa.. all terrain vehicle riding.. cocktails by the pool.. and maybe jet-skiing. see how la. urgh. boring banyan tree man.

ok, it wasn't all that bad la. i finally got to sleep after a whole week of insomnia at home. i was sleeping at 3-4 am at home. on the first night at banyan, i knocked out at 11.30 pm s'pore time. perhaps it was the amazing seafood linguine dinner.. perhaps it was the sight of the dark velvet sky with so many stars that it looked like sparkling dust. if there was such a dress, it wld be too expensive to even sell given the number of diamonds. or it cld have been the soothing amber fragrance in the air.

the second night, the stupid lizard kept me up with it's annoying call! i loathe lizards. like honestly. yes, vannie, i cannot cannot stand lizards.

but the sight was as beautiful as i remember. the calm as i stared at the sea from the edge of the pool. the reflection of the sun on the surface.. just so grateful for creation.. grateful for the sight that i have to experience it all. i just lost count of the times i thanked God for the beauty in the world. :)

today on the bus, i saw the most precocious precious looking toddler. he (jt~ i never put "it" already...) had his eyes wide opened and was swinging his head from side to side, his little mouth slightly opened...

then he sighed.

i turned into a puddle of swoon. i have never seen a baby sigh before! it was how cute!! his little shoulders rose and fell as he let out a deep breath and his head lowered a little at the same time. aaawwWWwwWWWww~

on the bus home, there was this girl who cldn't stop saying "then" or "then right" or "and then". i didn't want to eavesdrop. but she was sooo super loud that i could hear her even though my mp3 volume was at 13. normally that shuts out people to a murmur. once she got onto the bus, she sat down and started ALL HER SENTENCES with "then right".

i sniggered when she got so high to the point she stuttered, "then right, then right, then right..." the whole conversation!! i cldn't hear anything else she said but "then", "then right" and "and then". at another time, she stuttered the word "then" 4 times. i decided to count the number of "thens".

in less than 6 min (the point where i got off the bus), she hit number 45. that's practically 8 every minute. i started laughing once i got off the bus all the way to when i reached the other end of the overhead bridge.

sidenote: i'll be gone over the weekend and will only be back in Singapore on monday. can't wait. my own pool.. my own jacuzzi.. my own outside bath complete with jets of water.. BOW DOWN BEFORE ME ALL YOU COMMONFOLK OF THE COMMUNAL POOL!

having a mean moment. i admit it. i'm a sinner. but i can't be all that mean.. c'mon it's just bintan. wait 'til i finally get to go lijiang or bahrain and have my own pool, jacuzzi and outside bath. muahahahah.. JOKING LA!! i'm how nice can..

Subject Matter: Evan... pls check ur facebook!!!

the cfers are damn cute la!!! facebook is an amazing spaming tool.

the darlings decided to gang up on dear evan after she took 4 whole days to reply our thread on supper and ended up not going 'cos she only checked when we were actually having supper. so dennis-san started a thread to poke fun at her.

[extracts of the thread within 21.5 hrs..]
Msg 8 (6 Jun, 3.49 pm) - Bryan: i just met evan leh. should i tell her you guys conspire agst her? ... nah. helllloooooooooooooo evaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn

Msg 9(6 Jun 4.41 pm) - Dennis: Dear Evan, it has beeen 15hr since we started this tread ... but u are still no where to be found... SOooooo... we are just gonna contine and haf fun with this...mauahahha

11 msgs later after 21.5 hrs, evan replied with a vengence. 3 msgs in one go. which prompted this from yongchang..

Msg 15 (6 Jun 11.08pm) - YC: Wah lau! U replying like MSN like that. 1052pm one reply. 1100pm another reply. 1101 ANOTHER REPLY!! WAH LAU!!! U trying to make up for the intense bullying right hehehe!!!Ok...carry on :P

how cute right.. best is gabe-san. i replied at 2.07 am to update on the number of msgs.. at 2.15 am, gabe-san replied to that thread..

"why are you up so late xiujun?"

how can i not love my darlings!? :P

i need to stop watching shows that leave me in an emotional wreck just before i sleep. stuffy nose.. slightly blocked ears.. confirmed puffy eyes the next day.. yay.

i need to stop. period. but i can't... *whiney noises*

during another random channel surfing sleepless night in front of the tv (i really need to do this more!!), i came across a new music video from mayday. quickly, i went back to my CD listing and found that very song in their new album which i bought recently. and now i'm hooked.

it's just.. i've been serenaded once.. unintentionally too. and i've seen people getting serenaded as well. it's just really really really super super sweet when both parties like each other. if not, it's just.. awkward. but this song takes serenading a person to the next level.

to forget the words just because you're so affected by the person that you're trying to serenade. yes, i am sooooo melting right now.

unable to sleep last night, i started channel surfing. somehow, a jap movie on channel 8, yomigaeri, caught my attention. it was past 12 and i don't ever remember seeing the ad for the show. nevertheless, i started watching it more intently towards the end of it.

briefly put, yomigaeri means "resurrection" in Japanese. the meteorite hits a small area in Aso, Japan and slowly, people start coming back to life. a boy who disappeared 50 years ago in the forest returns to his now aged mother.. a deaf lady who died during prenancy returns to see her daughter as a teacher to the deaf.. a boy returns to find his younger bro now older than him.. a singer who stopped singing after her lover and songwriter died returns to the stage when he returns to her..

i think the part where i kinda freaked out was when three of the dead, the young one who disappeared 50 years ago, the one with a younger bro older than him now and a student who committed suicide were on a train to a research lab located outside that particular area. when the train passed the boundary, the three of them vanished from the train... to be near (literally) to those who missed them the most.

i'm not ashamed to say that i couldn't stop crying at the end of the movie. i must have been a miserable sight, hugging the cushion with my knees propped up and my choc wrapper lying near me. it was just so amazingly moving and sad at the end of it. now, i wanna get my hands on the vcd and watch it from the beginning.

for a more detailed summary, head to here: http://www.j-fan.com/cinema/cinema.cgi?action=viewrev&selected=14

but yes, that website has a bunch of reviews. now, i wanna get my hands on Moon Child too! sounds ideal eh? lazing at home to Moon Child, Waterboys and Yomigaeri with chocolates and a nice cuppa. :)