Written in the stars - Elton John and LeAnn Rimes (click on title to jump to song)
I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

suddenly, cracking knuckles have taken a whole new meaning. can't decide if it's good or bad.

weirdest conversation..

J: says:
RAWR!

M says:
rawr?
raaw-aow...

J: says:
RRRRRAAAAAWRRRRRR

M says:
*puuuuuurrrrr*

don't ask... really.. don't ask.

the usual suspects in the playlist... click on the title to jump to the song.

Lover You Should've Come Over
we'll never have another jeff buckley, will we? i'll always miss that vulnerability in his soft rock voice. that underlying sadness in each of his songs. while everyone is still in love with "Hallelujah", this ons is always mine.

Does Anyone Hear Her
how many people actually know this band? thankfully my music junkie friends have amazing taste in music. a friend sent this song to me. revisited, it is an amazing piece by casting crowns.

She is searching for a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart
she sounds so unlike herself here. a little more gritty. a little more of the alicia keys in "New York". tbh, i think i prefer her like this. i do think she's been an amazing artiste all this while. i just prefer her now. this song was on repeat the whole of monday. i can't believe i'm not sick of it yet.

The Show Must Go On
Freddie, oh, Freddie. you left us too early without your talents and voice and mesmerising stage presence. the dark irony of the song is that you're still such a icon in today's entertainment world.

Wonderful
my all-time fave female entertainer today. without a doubt. influenced by freddie too. her dance hits are catchy. her sad ones are nearly dark. in the midst of mindless dance music and pop-trash, she trumps with a beautiful piece like this. and this being from the Disco Heaven album, i'm naturally thinking of him.

By the time
one of the more amazing male entertainers of today too. he's quirky and eccentric. his lyrics are endearingly childlike and cynical. my nod to him from his latest album "the boy who knew too much". not my fave song, but one of the top ones that i do like.

Could It Be Any Harder
hot singer. sexy-ass voice. points would have normally been deducted for the massive emo-ness in the song but hey, Alex Band makes all emo songs dead sexy.

massive ear worms that i'm more than happy to leave to linger.
**

on a side note, both Hilton Melbourne South Wharf and Hilton on the Park Melbourne are hiring front office staff. tempted. really. sigh.

and just before a holiday descends on me, i'm thinking of where else to travel to. sure, i hate the flying. but the getting-away-from-it-all pleases me to bits. i'll take the pain-in-the-ass for the amazing time away from familarity.

i really do have amazing friends.

that even when i'm pissy from a gastric attack, they bear with my nonsense. they tolerate my mood swings. they even try to entertain me and make me laugh. and while i'm looking tired and waiting for the food to settle and quell the gnawing pain, they'll still check on me and try to distract me from the pain.

as i stare down the production line after dinner, i'm astounded. who knew i'd be blessed with such amazing work friends? and yar, i need to stop being such a bitch every time gastric hits.





on an entirely random side note. i think i'm falling sick. along with most of the production line. yippers.

you know something's wrong when you have your friends/sisters telling you that they are bumping into your other friends and all your other friends have to say about you is..

"yar!!! i haven't seen her in ages!!"

or the first thing your friends say during a phone conversation is

"where have you been????"



reminds me of my 2 mth hiatus from the pianobar. it's sweet when Jevon shines the flashlight in your face annoyingly as he interrogates on where you've disappeared. even sweeter when Jamie is nodding in agreement and asks to visit the rock you've been hiding under. of course i miss my boys.



back to the topic. i'm sorry. i haven't been as diligent in meeting up. feels like i'm crawling back under my rock to hide. give me 'til mid May. and i'll have all the time in the world for you guys. for about 2 week, i think.

better than nothing right?


time to take a queue number, people. or start initiating conversations on msn. i don't pay that much attention to msn 'cos of silly friends who insist on "appearing offline" and hoping that i'd msg them to see if they are there.. boo to you too.

****
side note: ODed song of the mo'. don't ask me why so sappy. i also want to know. helps that he's cute...

这世界太快
连爱都不例外
尽管我很努力想要跟上你的节拍
我慢慢明白
以为的细心等待
却根本不符合这个时代
怪自己慢了半拍

to my defence, i'm not that sloooow anymore. it's been nearly 3 years since i graduated. give me a little more credit.

ok ok. back to work. urgh.

the lunar new year descended upon us silently, more so with each year we get older. yet, the memories get more precious and funnier too. the chwee kueh versus muah chee as written in the previous post was just the tip of the iceberg.



#1 antiseptic vs blister balm

before we left the house for the day, the younger sister complained to the older sister abt scratches from the kittens while trying to get the blister balm. the older sister passed the not-so-little one antiseptic lotion. so she started applying the lotion to her ankles, still complaining abt the kittens. we stared at her.


"why are you applying the lotion to your ankles?" the older sister asked.


"to prevent the blisters????" the younger one replies. there shld never be more than 1 conversation topic ongoing in the morning. seriously.




#2 reason why cny visits are getting shorter

we sat around the sofa watching some of them rock out to band hero. the older sister turns to douglas and asks him how his visiting has been. he laments that the houses are fewer, so the money is lesser than previous years. then he sighs.


"We have less places to go now 'cos everyone is dying."


we had to make sure we weren't laughing too hard. douglas ftw.



#3 introducing the new bra padding of the year

we decided to make use of the dvd player in the car this year. but everyone was so dead tired, even me. i missed snippets of the movie playing. anyway, the older sister was the one who brought the dvd along and set it up. she dozed off shortly after that. when she awoke, i noted a plastic bag (it was holding the dvd) stuffed into her dress. i poked her.


"you're really not that flat as compared to me, you know.. and even if you were stuffing the chest, shldn't it be at the bustline and not in between the bust?"


#4 not understanding the concept of pencil line skirts

the new dress i bought isn't very good for climbing stairs and taking brisk wide steps. i sighed as i struggled to walk normally. the older sister watched the whole thing. walking from the void deck to the car after our final house of the morning, she suddenly screamed:


"last one to the car treats dinner!!!"


everyone burst into a sprint. the stupid father brisk-walked, knowing full well that he would beat me. i sighed and continued to the car OTOT. if i was treating dinner, they wld have to wait for me anyway.


#5 bfs are not waiters

the dinner treat was converted to an afternoon trip to cafe iguana. so the bfs of the sisters decide to come down and join us. it was the first time one of the bfs joined us. when he arrived, the younger sister, younger bro, father and other bf were at the pool table.


out of politeness, the later bf went up to wish the father a happy lunar new year. the father later confessed that he thought that the bf was a waiter and he was wondering why he was so nice to wish him a happy lunar new year.


******

what a year.. really what a year.

CS Lewis on Love

(edited at 10.27 pm)

Came across this in Timothy Keller's "The Reason For God". thought it was really nice.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possible broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your hearts to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will be unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.
- C.S Lewis

There's really no wonder why Lewis is really one of my fave authors of all time. :)

*******

My younger brother has won the idiot of the year award. in our attempt to make muah chee, we sent him out to buy the ingredients. he bought 2 packs of flour. ingenious, you'd think, since it meant that we would have more muah chee...

what then happened was that we ended up with 3 massive chwee kueh. in my mother's frustration, we returned to the internet to look for other recipes. i popped into the kitchen, determined to make right. then i noticed...

the dumbass bought rice flour instead of glutinous rice flour as instructed.

the mother and i headed out to buy glutinous rice flour. through the entire car ride, mommy cldn't stop scolding the boy in a smatter of hokkien and teochew. she was just shy of calling him a s.k.n.

as i'm typing this, the boy is kneeling down in front of the microwave oven, at the command of the mother, to make sure that this batch is perfect.

*******

to Mr Lee Alexander McQueen, thank you for all your beautiful quirky designs. for the lovely shoes. for the gorgeous bags. for being such a joy to the fashion world.

Rest in peace, sir. you are missed.

Quote of the month'
"Even mothers have to let go at some point. And you're not a mother yet." -Jia taking it upon herself to, ironically, 'mother-lecture' me.

i declare 6th feb's party at J Bar to be the epic party of the year.

for now at least.

until the crazy-ass Dre-gym team throws another fun-soaked party. and by "fun-soaked", i mean one with snazzy wine, loads of chips, a good old tv showing an amazing Man Utd match (5-0, whoot!!), amazing music and just damn a lot of laughter.

and oh, as much as i love my bros for the amazing present which reminds me that they are still thinking of little 'ol me in manchester after i haven't seen them in ages, i will NOT down gin neat anymore for them. it's just gross. jx, can we return to the good 'ol days of jello shots, vodka watermelons and whatever concoction the both of us whipped up in jackson's kitchen? c'mon..... i know you miss those days.

despite all those late nights, i have to say that the new year resolution is still all good. i'm still happily sober and taking care of friends. and yes, having tonnes of fun.

and when i see new fresh faces, i wonder where that part of me disappeared too. i'm not just talking abt the very obvious fact that i'm officially pale and pasty after i've lost my tan. but just, i still feel like i haven't found myself completely.

i know what i need for that part to come back. but it's gonna take time. esp when salsa classes seem to be started later than what that has been stipulated on the website. i'm going to call people to question them again.

back to the dance floor...

back to the ivory keys...

back to the Life Fitness weights..

back to the books...

back to the drawing board...

back to the writing pad...

back to the people i love and care abt...


back to me. sigh.

i don't expect people to understand. at least not the pagans. but when the equally yoked look at me with renewed interest and think i'm tough, i send them crashing back to earth by telling them that i probably struggle more than anyone else does..

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."
- Ephesians 5:25-27

it's so easy to simplify this by just saying that Christ's love for the church was sacrificial. thus, husbands are to do the same. but how oft we miss what that follows!



it's not just about making your wife aware of an "emotion".

it's not just about being able to die in the place of your wife.



it's about being the one, that through your love for the woman you make your lifelong partner, to help build up her knowledge and love for God. it's about being the one who points her to God. it's about being the one who that by doing all that, does it for the glory of God.

as i hear friends getting attached/engaged/married, i pray so earnestly that the equally yoked have found the partner who's right in the eyes of God and not the world. what are material riches compared to the spiritual blessings of God?

right now, i'll gladly remember Paul's words to the people..

"Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am."
- 1 Cor 7:6-8

so stop asking me about "taking chances". not when i definitely know that there's no solid ground below, no hand to hold and there will be hell to pay. forget it.

and seriously, stop reading so much into my msn personal msg. they are all lines from songs. really. *bleah*

sundays are fun days with the family, as usual.

after an afternoon of pruney fingers, a lot of screaming and soap suds.. i ended up at iguana's with the brother.

later in the evening, the brother decides to make pina colada. unknown to us was the proportion of the coconut milk, pineapple juice and rum. my mom takes a sip and makes a face, saying that there was too much rum. i take a sip and make another face.

"too much coconut. omg."

then my sister tells us that she saw the pina colada curdle. and thankfully she forced him to add more pineapple juice.

by the end of the conversation, we were affectionately addressing the drink as santan colada, with the brother hollering in the background, "santan-a colada! you know? like pinA colada? santanA colada!!!"



it's a stomachache waiting to happen. omg. i'm dead tmr. i swear. sigh.