don't know what to do next. i'm tired..

i shldn't be thinking abt nonsense like that during the term time. does nothing but distract me at this time. some issues confuse me.. some irritate and annoy me.. some make me upset. i shld be studying, damnit!

do i want to know the truth all the time? fine, gospel truth i will always wanna know. but truth abt all the other stuff that's been hounding me? i don't know. i want to be relieved to know that i've been wrong about it all the time.

as for the two of you, i'm sorry. i just don't know what to think at this point of time. i don't even want to think abt it until i'm safely in oz without your presence. pray for me, that i'll resolve it by the time i get back.

anyhoo, i'm in a christmas mood. don't asked me why. wishing that i had snow to look forward to.. making snow angels and tiny snowmen.. sipping warm chocolate at a cosy fireplace corner.. yes, i'm thinking about Grand Canyon during winter again. i miss that place. sure, it was a snowing so hard that i was unable to really enjoy the grand canyon as i would have been able to in the summer.

but i just wanna go shopping for that white christmas tree... pretty christmas ornaments.. singing christmas carols.. christmas shopping.. spending time with those who mean a lot to me.. giving thanks for the reminder of the birth of my Lord (note: i said "reminder of the birth" and not "birthday").. and knowing that jingting will be back then makes me long for it even more.

that's it.. i need a trip down to toys'r'us.. badly.

Where are you, Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know?
I'm not the same one
See what time's done
Is that why you have let me go

*****
to my sick babies, please take care.. esp my dear dragonboaters. drink plenty of water. if you have a sore throat, drink herbal tea and water and hot lemon tea with honey.. got cold don't blow ur nose off. take ur medication and sleep! come back and train with us soon. for now, we'll train for you. *muacks*