longing for a trip alone once again. it's addictive. all you need is just one trip and you get pulled along on this whirlwind of emotions and sensations. ah, the insatiable wanderlust of this solo traveller. but..

my money can be put to better use than to just satisfy my selfish hunger. like giving to those who need it more than me.

before you think that it's dangerous for me to travel alone, i disagree to an extent. i don't go discovering new countries. i go back to country that i've been to before, but different places. so at least there's some level of comforting familarity.

what are the chances of me being able to slip away from them all when i hit korean? maybe when we hit the slopes. will try to get some alone time with a cuppa hot choc and a book.

just can't describe this feeling. i'm staring at the staff planner. people that i've known since internship.. people that i just became close to.. and they are leaving. at this point when i feel a little empty from them leaving, i feel crowded at the same time, thus this urge to walk away from everything for now.

places i wld like to escape to for some alone time.. PS Bu Bu in Taipei, any cafe at the backpacking area in HCMC, any cafe or dondes in Flinder's Street, Melbourne

***
you know the sinking feeling in your stomach when the G force hits you as the rollarcoaster goes racing down the tracks? you scream because the screaming somehow relieves that sensation and you feel better after that?

what happens when that feeling is not in your stomach but in area slightly left of the middle of your chest?

what happens when you want to break down and cry but you can't let it show?

what happens when you can't seem to find the "G force" that's causing it.. perhaps because you don't want to admit it too?

and how do you make yourself feel better despite it all?

it's personal, myself and i
we've got straightening out to do
i'm gonna be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry