i adore dance. there's something about being able to move to and with the music. the dance floor, the shimmey beats and now, the gliding from one end of the floor to the other end.

and there's something about dancing with someone who can dance. when i first did salsa with glenn as my teacher, i just felt safe. there was full assurance that he'd lead me. that i could trust him. i still remember one day, glenn wanted to stress that the men should be leading and not the ladies, he made the ladies all close their eyes and dance.

i closed it completely. without peeping. 'cos i knew that my dance partner could lead me. just because he was a friend who was somewhat trained in dancing as well. when i salsa-ed with yuan during the break in the competition, i was having fun. similarly, he was trained enough for me to be so sure that he would lead me properly.

when uncle felix was my instructor, i just adored partnering him. 'cos i knew he had enough experience to help me dance. i knew i could trust him. it was how he was able to just lead me and i didn't have to worry about where i was going even though he was swinging me all around the room. when i was doing moves for the first time, i could trust uncle felix to nudge me with a knee or a light pull or push with his hand against mine.

dancing with matt is like dancing with uncle felix all over again. there's that same assurance that he'll take care of whoever he's dancing with. it's how mindful he is of people around and how he hints with just a slightly firmer but still gentle hold as he reduces the stride just so i won't bump into anyone.. how he gently guides with his knee against mine.

i miss dancing with uncle felix!!

but seriously, my girls will prob know the reason for the added "expectation" on my part. i want to trust. i want to be fully assured that when i'm blind, there's someone to lead me. and that i can trust that person to lead me. and that i never have to worry about being in danger.

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:3-4

and i've found Him. that's why it's soooo important to not just accept that i know Him. it's important to know Him as I do as well. so begets more friday night laughs over drinks, my ladies. yes, i'm clueless to hints. but i will always know what i really need. don't worry about me. Really.

btw, thanks. now i'll never listen to "won't go home without you" the way i used to. sigh.