After yet another visit to the granny's at the hospital, the mother and I were heading home as usual.

We were talking and laughing about random things like the family in the car when she suddenly said, "You have a very high threshold for pain."

It was just as random as the other things we were talking about but I didn't know how to continue. She continued on about how I never like to tell people when I am hurting or in pain. that I keep it all to myself. I insisted that I would tell them if I were in pain and I knew they could help it. if not, it didn't make sense to mention that I'm in pain anyway.

then she went to to say that even if people weren't in the position to take away the pain, I should tell them that I'm hurting.

"Because that way, we can at least be there with you."

at that point, I kinda figured she was talking about more than just physical pain. there was just a certain tone in her voice that make me look out of the window and not look at her for a brief second. it was like memories of a childhood that I never bothered to suppress but also never bothered sharing with any of my family. I cleared my throat.

"That's not true. I used to roll around on the sofa and complain about period pains."

"Do they still hurt as much?"

"Not anymore. Things do get better with time."

This time, my mother slipped into silence. We sat there for a few seconds not saying anything until I started laughing about my sisters and the funny things that happened in the last week between us. It was almost as though we never had the earlier conversation.

honestly, I don't really need to tell anyone if they can't help me. that's just the way it's been. I do rant about minor superficial stuff but there are things that are better left unspoken and resolved by myself. still, I guess knowing that my mom is somehow aware of all this happening makes me a little glad. I can only pray that she'll also be glad that her little girl has grown up to be a lot stronger.