when you’re part of a big fat crazy -and I really mean psychopathic IMH style crazy- family, there’s barely a dull moment.

but no expects to be hit by a series of unfortunate events all over the extended family on all sides within 5 days.

the loss of a taxi license due to stupid acts

the loss of a good man to heart attack

the loss of freedom because the damn maid agency had its license suspended (maid for two months and counting. my evenings now revolve around the laundry and sweeping while my weekends are gone too)

the most dramatic moment being last night close to 10pm where I found myself in the porch of my grandaunt’s pitch dark house with my mom, my sister, Es, and Ade, trying to figure out why the old senile lady was MIA. and I don’t even mean senile in a bad way. the old one has been hit with dementia and is medically senile.

we went round in circles around the outside of the house in the dark and stupid Ade was freaking all of us out by saying she actually heard my grand aunt (her god grandma) call her and say she’d be down in a min. Uncle G and Aunt Joc were called to help think of solutions to find out where she was.

finally, we got the locksmith past 10pm and he started to help us break in. by then, I had time to walk home, shower, dump the laundry in the washer, and head back to my grand aunt’s. Aunt W, who was my grand aunt’s god daughter, had shown up too. by about 10.20pm, we broke into the house. the poor lock smith had bleeding fingers. I brought him to wash his hands and plastered him up while the rest of the family went to hunt the house.

at one point, we were bemoaning how the flashlights from our phones were eating our batteries as we were using them for the locksmith. Aunt W wondered how we were going to find our way around the house. I looked at her.

“are we really all that tired? we can switch on the lights once we’re in.”

there was a pause before tired laughter all around, all clearly drained by this side of the extended family.

thankfully we found the old one in her house quickly. called the ambulance. then avoided her because she was still downright nasty. my mom sent Es back to the wake because Es needed to be there. the man we had lost to heart attack was her father-in-law.

I stayed with Ade and Aunt W. I called my uncle and Aunt W called Aunt Joc to keep them posted. Aunt Joc even asked if she should come down to join us as support and if we wanted anything to eat as she would be coming from Centrepoint. But Aunt Joc stayed far from us so we told her to head home instead and we’d keep her updated. After that, Ade, Aunt W and I came up with theories as to how the old one was found in her current extremely unhygienic state of… well.. hygiene.

Mom came back and Uncle G soon arrived. then the ambulance came at about 11pm. Uncle G followed Aunt W to the hospital. Aunt W chased Ade home as Ade had to be at the church the next day at 7.45am to help with the final touches of the funeral.

by the time Mom, Ade, and I did what we could to keep the house secure and head home, it was almost 11.30 at night. Ade drove back and Mom and I walked. as we trudged upslope in the dead of the night, Mom thanked me for being there. I stared at her.

“That’s what ‘family’ is about, isn’t it? Aunt Joc… Aunt W… you’re all from different mothers… but you all still rallied around each other for Number One (that’s the old one’s nickname). Just like we were all together last night at the wake. We are family. It’s only natural, isn't it.”

there was something unspoken because while we knew our families weren’t perfect, at least we weren’t as torn or as dysfunctional as Number One’s own family whose own child can’t be bothered with her.

 

we continued walking in silence after that. to conclude the night, my younger sister dropped a message in our sibling chatgroup.

“My dear siblings, with the prevalence of dementia in our family, I foresee a future of us having dementia too and possibly lying in our poop one day. but rest assured for as long as I’m alive, I will be there to pick you up from your poop (or at least get someone else to… if I remember to…) T-T”

“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Ya. Still good.” - Lilo & Stitch (2002)

I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again. I adore my family, even the fun extended relatives who are willing to bring us Macs supper from Centrepoint. we’re not perfect. we’re big and it’s a little crazy. but we’re still good.

yea. still good.