i used to be so confident of what i could do and what i couldn't. and wherever i was lacking in, i always tried to be a better me. it wasn't that i wanted to be everyone's cup of tea. i would be okay if peeople walked away and left. i just didn't want to be the tea that everyone avoided because they hated.

but now, i'm that cup of tea that people spit into. the cup that people keep shaking to leave unsettled just because they want to and they can.

at the same time, i've been so blessed to have a group that takes me away from those people. a group that just wants to appreciate me for who i am. a group that loves me for my flaws but doesn't just accept that i'm a horrid person and actually helps me to be a better version of me. they don't tell me that they take my brokenness or my imperfections. instead, they nurture me and help me mend the holes and better the bad things.

and God has been so good. He keeps reminding me that there are people who sincerely care. people who will miss me. people who give me a reason to keep on living and who help me to keep on living. God has been so incredibly good.

let this be my prayer. that i keep rejoicing in the good and bad. that i keep remembering that i am His and that is all i really need because He provides shelter and warmth and protection, not in the way i expect, but in the manner that He knows is best for me.

let this be my prayer that i'll be eternally grateful for the joys and sufferings in my life, simply because God is good. because God made this little cup of tea that I call me.