i saw this off facebook.

in the midst of all the fb likes, shares and "aw" comments, i'm frowning.

so if you really are a selfish scumbag who's an absolute asshole, love means that you don't have to change?

love is not a means to an end. love doesn't make one feel wanted or needed. love doesn't exist just so one will always have company. love is not selfish.

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." - 1 Cor 13:4-7

love is painful. love will hurt. love leaves you empty, knowing that you've given everything and will not get anything in return. love expects nothing in return, not company, not even reciprocated love.

people expect all that. love doesn't.

and simply because of that, love will change people. whether we like it or not.

"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:16-19

personally, i only know love because i know Him. i love because He loves me, not because i've received love in return from the people around me. so in moments where i feel alone, desolate and forsaken by people, i still love them. even if people don't realise that love comes in different forms. even if people don't agree with how i show my love for them. even if people can't tell that that's how i can best love them. i do still love them in my way.

because love has changed me for who i really am. simply because God is God.

without doubt, my favorite female band. of all time.

i never ever had a favorite female band. i have songs i like from female bands but 2NE1... just too amazing to not love. brilliant songs. breath-taking vocals. insane rap and dance from CL and Minzy..

so when S told me that she had a spare complimentary ticket for me, i absolutely jumped at the chance to attend the concert. which meant rushing home after a wedding recep to change and jump into cab to get myself down to the indoor stadium. all that despite a headache and tiredness.

absolutely worth all the weariness.

concert was supposed to start at 7pm. just before 7, the lights dimmed and the music videos projected on the screen were blasting around the stadium versus the much lower volume it was at. after 2 songs, the lights dimmed further... and the poker card symbols flashed on the large screen. blackjacks in the stadium rejoiced.

most punctual concert ever. to think i was impressed by Big Bang for treating me to 15 min of MVs before they came on. 2NE1 is da shyte yo.

it was pure entertainment. being the last concert of their global tour and for the year, CL promised a party. and the group delivered. their live band on stage was just as amazing.

at the end, there was a planned encore, as with all k-wave bands. the bouncing castle slide setup on stage was so psycho. the girls did their two planned encore songs, thanked everyone and returned backstage. some fans left, majority stayed and asked for more.

the girls came back on, beaming. Dara had tears streaming down her face as she grinned at the mad crowd. S and I started tearing up. before they performed, CL turned to her live band just to make sure that they were okay with still performing. TOO RIDICULOUSLY POLITE!

the girls treated the crowd to another three songs. it was a crazy 2.5hr concert. when i left, my ears were ringing, my throat was sore and i had a mad headache from dehydration. the professionalism of the girls left me so impressed. and the entertainment value.. YG Entertainment never fails to deliver.

man.. if only I was free for Shinee this weekend...

i understand that it can be annoying to receive survey invites.. or emailers..

but really. is it that hard to simply ignore or to click the opt-out option? why do you insist on writing a long angry email on me wasting your time?

i never asked you to open up the email. you could have deleted it.

i never forced you to complete the survey. you could have opted out.


and now i'm supposed to apologize for wasting your time by making you click on something to read when it's all purely your choice? and writing that damn long angry email? sure, it's so obvious now that you're really really busy.

why the hell would you take the effort to write to me to ask me to stop sending you reminders (of which i've only sent one) instead of clicking the opt-out link? i'm sorry you had to take time out of your busy schedule to email me instead of just clicking a link that is already provided to you.

and no. 2 emails in the span of 15 days is not considered "flooding" your inbox. ignoring my emails isn't default for "i don't want to receive any more emails from you". you giving your details to a company so they can contact you eliminates the "default rights" of you not receiving an email from me on their behalf.


sending me an abusive email after i've emailed you twice in 15 days because i cannot read your bleeping mind is not your default bleeping right. that happens because you're a douche.


i have to email more than 1000 persons. 'cos it's my job. 'cos the companies gave me your email. you want, go attack the company that shared your details. 바보.

plus i'm not a mind reader. i can't tell if you simply missed the earlier email or if you don't want to do the survey.




sigh. i have to keep reminding myself that people have the rights to be stupid. just wish people would stop abusing that right.

it's freezing in office.

i'm blasting Big Bang's Monster on repeat...

and absolutely craving cheese ramyeon now.



E asked S and me yesterday night if our little 14-yo phase would die off. probably. just not yet.

for now, i'm just going to enjoy it as it goes.


here's to hanging out with my girls and enjoying yummy eye candy, infectious tunes, hilarious moments, and an overdose of mad talent for the festive periods to come.

looks like i spoke too fast. the potential tenant had made an earlier offer to our asking rental rate.

we daringly counter-offered. just by a little more. my mom and i are really none the wiser about market rates.



and the tenant accepted it.

so we're staring at curtains tomorrow... looking for someone to seriously deal with the aircon... getting a contractor to clean up the place.



i'm damn excited!!

every thing is moving faster than expected.

so i got my keys less than a month ago.

before i even had time to be fully excited about the place, i have a highly potential tenant already.

at a rental price that is not beyond my wildest dreams but a little higher than my expectations. not that it's stopping me from asking for a little more.

this means no house warming for now. but oh wow.

so i have to pick out curtains tomorrow morning and settle it as soon as possible so the family can move in. and i can start collecting rent, in time with the first date of my mortgage payment. assuming the family accepts the new offer.

all the hard work of the people around me assisting me. i'm just so incredibly thankful to God that this period, along with the madness, has been something i've been able to cope with.

now if only work was as simple as this. sigh.

so today i found out how much i hate nicknames.

not all. i'm fine with names like "girl with headphones", "cat apprentice", "koala", "t-rex" and "monster".

but it really pisses me off when people screw my name over.

cutting it short is fine. but why the hell would you repeat a particular syllable?

i still remember telling a friend of 10 years (think it was friend of 8 years during the incident) to stop called me "Jun jun" when she did it the first time. it made me cringe. it made me sick. and it just plain pissed me off. what's with the cute names? it's not even cute. it's massacring my name. so, she never did it again. thankfully.

today, someone thought it perfectly fine to massacre my dialect name in a similar manner. i absolutely snapped and told the person to stop being obnoxious. and this person comes from a group of people that have seen my prior intolerance to nicknames that turn my name into something revoltingly cutesy.. like a 35 year old in pigtails, wearing pink fluffy hoodies, dressing up their poor male shitzu with pom pom hair tie and speaking with an "act-cute" high pitched voice with retarded enunciation. it's just wrong. and disrespectful.



so to you, i don't care if you like destroying names and think it's cute.. i don't like it. if you like it, do it to people who like it. do it to me and i will not hesitate to snap again and tear you up, throwing you into the bottomless pit of awkward hell.

listening to JYP's "This Christmas" while having my favorite Starbucks Toffee Nut Latte. midweek bliss.

i can't wait for the decorations to be up in the Marina Bay area. for the huge ass tree to be ready in front of Raffles City..

Christmas, thank you for being my favorite time of the year every year. ^^

on friday morning, the cg decided to head to Botanic Gardens for a picnic.

considering the fact that J and I were at Butter Factory the night before, it's amazing we didn't look like death. and we were a little late because it took us longer than expected to find our meeting spot.

as with all gatherings, it was just a madcap time of sitting in the sun and talking about all the nonsense literally under the sun, including JB educating LC on the hallyu wave today, i.e., Psy's Gangnam Style. i personally like his "Blue Frog" better. nothing to do with the fact that G-Dragon was featured on it. really.

these people are mad funny. all the stories of their clubbing past during cg was unexpected but all so hilarious. and the twins. they are so small, so scary, and yet at the same time, so endearing. especially when they disappear with my flats and lose them around the house, sending me on a hunt after cg to find the missing side.

i'm just thankful J managed to drag me to her cg. it's always nice to go out there and meet new people. and here, interactions don't feel forced or fake. no weird "let's hold hands and sing songs in the dark to feel God" nonsense. no "a miracle happened to me, praise God!" weirdness. they are incredibly down to earth and real people. probably because there's a strain of AC-ness in the group. that pompous better-than-thou-in-all-things-awesome air from W.. to think i was initially worried that my humor of "omg, does this mean i'm no longer allowed to pray for the bus to come sooner when i'm running late???" was going to be taken the wrong way.

thank you, for surrounding me with all things good and bad. for the loves gained and lost. for every chapter of my life, new and old. for holding onto memories while moving on with life. for helping me to be discerning of the intentions of people and their hearts. that i find the greatest comfort in the people whose hearts beat for You.

in the midst of training for King of the Road, i get hits along the way...

like the arteritis scare..

insane food poisoning that's lasting for a week..

now an oncoming flu..


how to run next saturday? i give up. i'm going to collect the jersey and return the chip on the same day. this is ridiculous.

now i just want to be able to eat normally and exercise normally. there's only so much pocari sweat my body can deal with before i go mad without solids. and again, i would be mightily pissed if i didn't lose weight during this period. sigh.

had a nerd moment yesterday.

the boss was explaining an equation which he said so far few have comprehended. i asked him to explain it to me. and i got it. i didn't know why i got it but i got it.

not wanting it to be a moment of me pretending that i got it, i decided that it was simply algebra that needed to be broken down and elimination of double counting.

so i got to work. assigning variables and coming up with substitute equations for the huge mama line.

and i solved it.

it's really just math after all.


that simple exhilaration at understanding and solving the clockwork in my head thrilled me. i couldn't remember the last time something like that made me happy. i paused. i did remember.

first three months in JC. we got a math question that was supposed to occupy us for the entire 45min tutorial . the class either busied itself with the equation or was playing. i was working on it. i solved it. within 30 min. i showed my math tutor, who incidentally happened to be the math HOD. he stared at my answer. told me that i had just resolved a math "F" question. i was bubbling with excitement and pride and i was completely flushed with such thrill at solving something that was not meant for someone of my level.

and who knew, that was the one thing that changed my route in JC. i didn't do as well at the A's. i got my old class schedule but i wanted to take on a double math schedule which was supposed to be beyond my level. still, i went up to my math teacher during assembly where they were sorting out the classes to put in an appeal to join a double math class. he looked at me, smiled, asked me which double math combination i preferred. i told him. he struck my name off the list from my old class and added my name to the double math schedule i wanted. then he pointed to a row of students and said, "that's your new class."

stunned, i stared at him. he only smiled wider, "that's your new double math class. go along. join them."

the power of the math HOD to fulfill the silly wishes of a nobody.

i beamed and thanked him. he wished me luck cheerfully. the best day of my entire JC life.

i met up with him even though he no longer taught me. we spoke. he listened to me about my frustrations at the school system that didn't allow me to drop physics and keep my double math at the end of the first year because my dismal grades needed me to drop a subject and being a science student, i wasn't allowed to drop my science subject. which was retarded considering the fact that I passed both my math courses and failed physics. he told me to never forget my ability to comprehend equations.

i thought i had forgotten it all. but honestly, i never did. it was just hiding inside.

Mr Yeo Kim Chuan, thank you. thank you for giving this little math lover a chance in life and her best memory of her JC life. thank you.

Massively hooked on GD's amazingly unique vocals.

like Jun.K, both their speaking voices and their singing voices are different.. and all equally heart-meltingly charming. plus, both of them are dog lovers with out of the world fashion.. some that make you wonder what the hell the designer was thinking, some that just impress you 'cos you never expect anyone to carry off the look.

so it's little wonder that I'm listening to both of them on repeat.


the latest (not a new song) being Pixie Lott's collaboration with TOP and G-Dragon.

truly mad love. that insane charming nasal voice with hints of cheekiness and gentleness at the same time.



only part of the song I don't like? the lyrics. like, Pixie, GD is working hard for you overseas and you're whining about being home alone and dancing on your own? i know it's horrid to imagine that you're in a relationship with GD and you're unable to see him.. but damn woman, you're in a relationship with Kwon Ji Yong. if you don't want him, I'll take him. plus he comes with two mad adorable sharpeis. fantastic deal.