a tribute to my fantastic friends...

sunny days and starry nights

and lazy afternoons

you count the castles in the clouds

and hum little tunes

but somehow right before your eyes

the summer fades away

everything is different

and everything has change

if you feel lost and on your own

and far from home

you never alone, you know

just think of your friends

the ones who care

they all will be waiting there

with love to share

and your heart will lead you home

funny how a photograph

can take you back in time

to places and embraces

that you thought you left behind

they're trying to remind you

that you're not the only one

that no one is an island

when all has said and done

there'll come a day

when you're losing your way

and you won't know where you belong

they say that home is where your heart

is so follow your heart

know that you can't go wrong

if you feel lost and on your own
and far from home
you never alone, you know

just think of your friends
the ones who care
they all will be waiting there
with love to share
and your heart will lead you where you belong

and your heart will lead you home

(Kenny Loggins - Your Heart Will Lead You Home)

Sex is good! Sex is great! Sex is amazing! But only in the context of marriage.

What a way to start the post.. ahaha. been listening to the pure sex series from ARPC. it's interesting.. really.. that understanding whatever we do is because of what God has done. we don't live life the way we want it.. we live life the way God had intended for.. to be in perfect relationship with Him.. understanding that there's no pleasing God when u indulge in ur sinful nature.

so how can a taboo societal subject be good? how can it be gd when discussion abt it in the past was frowned upon? it's good 'cos it's God-created. God created man and woman, the idea of companionship. He told them to "be fruitful and multiply" right from the start in Genesis. there is an idea of one-ness relationally, physically, sexually and spiritually. it's the exchange of faithfulness between 2 persons for life. so why is it bad? the simplest "pastor" answer is: Man is sinful.

we've taken sex.. exploited it.. made it dirty through our worldly visions.. rape; adultery; incest; prostitution; homosexuality.. all in all, sexual immorality. explains why Bush is still president of US. the evangelical americans will not see their country embrace similar sex marriage. amazing isn't it? God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

what hit me most when i was listening to one of them was when the pastor told us not to justify our sins. the gay bishop.. same-sex marriage and claiming it's a union under God. God did not save us to let us indulge in sin. "nature and nurture" is smth ppl inevitably argue abt.. that it can be genetic even.

1 Cor 6:9-11 - And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

we have been saved. we're cleansed from our sins, made holy and made right in His eye. we shld not be turning back to desires of the flesh. not just homosexuality. but pre-marital sex.. even cyber sex. there is no way u can justify ur sin. only God justifies. let us, as Christians, continue to help one another!

i got a shock though.. at one part where the speaker said, "Don't stay single for the fear of committment. Don't stay single for the fear of failure (major panicking on my part now!).. when it compromises your sexual life"

what relief.. ahahaha. truly, in 1 Cor 6:9, Paul writes: But if (the unmarried and widows) cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

i guess i was greatly encouraged by Pastor Chia when he said that singleness and marriage are both gifts from God that does not affect our acceptance.. but ultimately, it's how we use the gifts given to us. the gift of singleness? ultimately, i feel it's the ability to accept that you are single and live a godly life still.

(ouch! just scratched my wound!) it's not easy.. really.. living a godly life in this depraved world... it's really for us to be prepared to be that minority.. to turn away from the depravity, popularity and majority. we're not abnormal. we're just living lives as God's people, because we've been set free from sinful nature! my brothers and sisters in Christ, i write this as an encouragement. sure, i'm not as fluent as Paul.. nor do i possess that understanding that my dear gospel workers have.. but don't fret if you feel like you're an outcast when you don't follow the ways of the world. 'cos we're the one of the 2 races in God's eyes.. we're the race that believes in Him so rejoice for we have salvation!

to my dear "freshies".. you guys are no longer freshies! come the end of next sem, you guys are yr twos already! then, the freshies will come in and let us continually perservere in the word of God.. faithfully proclaimed the true gospel, simply and plainly, to them, aites?

to my dearest campus ministry, let us continually grow in our understanding of the word. i love you guys sooooo much and i thank God for you all! really.. at the same time, thanks for making fun day 04/05 T1 and fun day 04/05 T2 a success with your encouraging participation!

just watched shall we dance. then going to watch waterboys later. it's like movie day for me. oh well.. whatever that makes me laugh, smile and swoon is good enough for me.

Shall we dance is not flashy.. not amazing.. but wonderful enough for me. i wasn't expecting much save for the dancing bits. and i enjoy them. there was one scene, where Richard Gere's character, John Clarke, was referred to as Fred Astaire. and it's really no coincidence that Fred Astaire stared in 1937's shall we dance as well (click on the title for more info!). that was a nice touch to the film. watching it makes me want to go back onto the dance floor.. 'cept i've most probably forgotten my most of my salsa. need to go back again.. and for spinning clinics too.. to work my spin. and i would lurve to pick up rhumba and cha cha.. the sensuality of latin dance.. the total beauty of it... not entirely captured in this film but it does have amazing dance moments, like the dance between Gere and Lopez in the dim studio. incredible.

the movie in itself has sweet moments too. i nearly died when gere appeared on the escalator to sarandon while she was working.. and he was all dressed up, holding a single stalk of rose. when she asked him why he wasn't at the party, his reply was short.. and dead romantic, not mushy.

oh, because it's a dance
and to dance you need a partner
and my partner is right here

i don't know the mushy version.. this is not even cheesy. it's one of those "melt and swoon" moments. ahahahah. anywayz, i like movies that leave me with nice songs too.. one song worth a mention is Book of Love by Peter Gabriel.
***
The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
***
swoon.. like the part where peter gabriel sings "i love it when you sing to me.. you can sing me anything".. anywayz, got waterboys waiting for me, plus my almond magnum in the fridge. i'm contented for the night.

i like walking on nights where the sky is clear... and full of stars. a romantic at heart? perhaps. it's tiny things in huge setting that make me smile.. where i get a little light-headed. i'm not talking abt a tiny diamond in a amazingly intricate design.. i'm talking about stars in the sky..snowflakes..raindrops. while walking out to dinner at adam just now, the stars were visible and ever so bright. i love nights like this. when i walked back home too, i could only gaze upon them.. thanking God for creation.

at the same time, there was a song running in my head.. aptly titled "written in the stars". sung by elton john and leann rimes. a sweet sad song that makes me just wanna lie down beneath the stars and take rest while it repeats in my ears. yes, ok, i'm a hopeless romantic at heart all in all whether i like it or not. haiz. as a friend who put it, i'm "still a little girl behind it all". ahahah..

and he complained abt my "little girl charm". abt how the teh terik uncle once brought my drink to me even though it was self-svc.. how the fish soup noodle uncle also brought my food to me when it was self-svc (when i was going back to the stall to tell him my table number, he dismissed it with a smile because he had seen me run to the table!).. and oh, a car stopped on my way back just 'cos i was looking at them. the girl in the car than signalled to me, asking me if i wanted a ride. i declined it.. but grinning inwardly. memories of how ppl just allowed me to drink almost half of their beers during patron's day.. abt how friends don't demand money from me.. how my gfs' bfs treat me to meals when i go out with the "unlucky" couple. ahahah. i guess i'm just a fortunate lady who doesn't have to flirt to get my way. thank goodness for that.

honestly, i don't ask for such treatment. i'm just myself! it's really not my fault when i unconsiously cause ppl to be nice to me. they can be evil to me for all i care. but they choose to be nice! hee hee hee.. works to my advantage even though i feel kinda bad. and how guys treat me like a total girl (i.e. they are absolutely sweet to me!) but at the same time, i'm one of the guys, one of the brudders. i don't even know if it's a particular thing i do that causes this.. or it's just me.

my dear friends, do correct me if you see me unconsciously cause ppl to be overly nice to me through my actions! he says it's my smile. is it my fault that i like smiling? i'm a generally outwardly happy person! if it's my smile that causes ppl to be overly nice (treating me like a princess), then i'm really sorry.. i cannot start to frown at everyone. ppl will think i'm mad.

but honestly.. smiling.. if it really is my smile, there's nothing much i can do about it. it comes all-so automatically to me. when i see someone whose company i enjoy.. someone i can consider an aquaintance.. i smile! who doesn't! and it gets me free beer. opps. ahahaha

Finding Neverland on my Moving House

watched finding neverland today (click on movie title for more info). brought back many fond memories of my childhood (now that i'm a young adult...). i recall running around the garden, talking to "fairies" in the flowers, lying on the grass staring at the clouds, sucking sweet nectar from the small flowers that grew in the big bush in the old flower path at our old house. even of my make-believe games.. where i would be the damsel in distress on a pirate ship, or even a violent fighter who believed in righteousness.. from a little pig who built the house of sticks or a power ranger... the make-believe world where i could be anyone i want to be, riding on the wings of a unicorn or dancing in the midst of soapy bubbles with my pixie friends and butterflies.. finding neverland reminded me of that "secular" paradise i dreamt so often of.

it was really touching.. even more when you know that in real life, the young boy Peter commited suicide in 1960. it is also rumored that his younger brother, Michael (also the name of the youngest boy in Peter Pan. Coincidence? i think not) commited suicide at the young age of 21. there was much talk abt Peter Pan, esp on JM Barrie's sexual orientation. read it here.

this is a spoiler.. the ending was amazing.. nothing amazing about the fact that the final scene had JM Barrie and Peter talking to each other before fading away, leaving behind JM Barrie's hat and cane. it was just the effect it had on people. the whole cinema was silent. when the credits started rolling, no one got up or made a sound. the njc girl next to me wiped her eyes dry with her friend. my eyes stung too. slowly, people started to get up. there was no excited chatter or laughter. just soft murmurs of approval from the people who left the cinema with me along. everyone seemed so comforted in their quiet contemplation. when i went into the toilet, few were patting their red eyes dry. one girl was sniffing and wiping her eyes still, her friend watching her quietly.

it's amazing.. that a movie can have such an impact on people. you have to forgive me for quoting all over the place in this particular post. but andrew hartman, the webmaster of the peter pan fan, said that, "As a child, you love Peter Pan for the adventure, the fantasy, and the flying. Later as an adult, when you watch that same version of Peter Pan you saw as a child, you realize the true meaning of the story. This is the moment when you grow up."

Even in the show, Depp's character talked about growing up. in one scene, george, the oldest, said that his grandmother was strict on his mother just because his grandmother didn't want to see his mother hurting anymore. then Depp remarked that in that few seconds, george had become an adult. such a simple statement. so much truth. i was touched. i know it's just a movie. but people watch movies to escape from reality. so let me indulge in it while i sit in my dark fantasy, before i return to the blinding reality of the world around me. i'm starting to sound insane. will need to talk to someone soon..

i would have to agree. i cried when i read "Little Prince" back in secondary school. all because i found it incredibly beautiful and touching. (yesh, i'm a crier) when i told my mom that it was very touching, she did not see it so. she just said that it was merely sad. it was then i realized that adults and children have different ways of interpretation. i remember the scar my older sis left in me when she suggested that the characters of winnie the pooh were gay. i never watched winnie the pooh the same innocent way anymore. it's barely adorable when christopher and winnie talk about their friendship. saying that, i still wish i had a classic pooh bear.. those huge ones.

speaking of sexuality, there is no doubt question about JM Barrie's friendship with the young boys. i'm not going to sit here and decide the dead man's sexuality for everyone but the next quote does sum up my feelings. Nico, the youngest child of the Davies family, once said, "He was an innocent--which is why he could write Peter Pan." and yesh, johnny depp is dead gorgeous. i hereby give finding neverland a total of 5 stars, where one star comes from bringing back fond memories.

another interesting movie to catch would be Howl's moving castle. while i'm in this world of make-believe, my fallen state pleads me to return to it for one last time. it's actually a book written by diana wynne jones. saw the trailers for it today.. looks interesting enough. can't rate this yet 'cos i have yet to watch it.

and what's valentine's day without sappy movies? the ultimate one.. "a moment to remember". the typical korean movie that is bound to make ppl cry. it may seem a little far-fetched and over the top with the storyline. but it does what it had set out to do: capture the most intense emotion of love on a paper, then to bring it to surface through the show. 'cos while something like that very situation would not happen in real life, if it did, you can imagine the human mind, heart and soul doing what the character in the movie did. human emotion is just uncomprehensible. i'm renting the dvd so i can sit in the comfort of my home and bawl my silly eyes out.

Project Timothy, Ministry Matters, came to an end on the 6 of March, at abt 1 p.m. it was really a weekend of studying God's word, fellowshiping with the many like-minded brothers and sisters of Christ... all in all, an amazing weekend where i could throw away the cares of the secular world to come back to reading the word of God.

challenged.. as always.. Chris Chia, Vaughon Roberts (Von) and John Chapman (Chappo) were really good speakers. And when i say good, i don't refer to how dynamic they were and how they riled the crowds.. instead, they held everyone's attention.. simply by preaching the one true gospel faithfully, plainly and simply.. they showed the marks of someone being in a ministry, proving their point of living in line with the true gospel that we preached. much to learn from them and their attitudes. What struck me was when Chappo challenged us with love. it's so easy to not love the people you preach to. then why preach to them? why bother? this is not telling to not preach to people you don't love. rather, preach to people and love them with your all. look at our Apostle. Paul. He goes to strange lands and preaches the word to strangers. He loves them all.. evident from how he responses to them when he's far away. his many letters, addressing pressing issues in the churches, only serve to remind us that we are to love each other... to continually exhort, encourage and charge each other. amazing, really.

another issue abt evangelism was something that made me relief. I shouldn't be just asking God for courage to evangelise. i shld be praying for opportunities... understanding that God is in charge, even to the pt of telling me the time to evangelise and all.. i shld be praying for both opportunities and courage to take on myself these opportunities when they arise. pray pray...

(chong yak's the hospital. think he's having his surgery now. hoping he'll be fine at the end of it.. praying for him that all will go well. pls pray for him too..)

abt prayer, i don't pray enough. i don't place enough emphasis on the importance of prayer. it's talking to God, isn't it? and i'm not talking about nonsensical prayer.. i'm talking abt prayer that centers around God, not around me. i shldn't be praying for good grades, a nice car, house and future. i shld be praying that in every aspect of my life, i will live it in accordance to His will.. here's a challenge for christians. i dare each and everyone to pray that we live lives worthy of God... living in line with the gospel we preach, instead of hypocrisy.

what's living in line with the gospel? the bible spells it out plainly. we see it clearly that we do not indulge in "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like". (Galatians 5:19-21) Sexual immorality?

"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised. Amen.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, Godhaters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they ot only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them" (Romans 1:18-32)

I do respect people's choices. but don't tell me you're a Christian when you think all those are ok in God's eyes. i agree, i do have a depraved mind. i do sin. i forget once in a while that God shld be the center of all of my decisions.. but i recognize that what i do is wrong. i recognize that i have a lot of make up for. it's not to earned my salvation that i live a life pleasing to God. it's understanding what God's done for me.. that because of His love and mercy, I shld live a life in the Spirit, now that Christ is in me.. living in accordance to the gospel i hold to, rather than being a hypocrite. so don't tell me that you're a christian when you don't see anything wrong with being a homosexual. ppl are entitled to engage in pre-marital sex or be homosexuals. all men are sinners, after all. but don't tell me that it's ok to do all that when you say you're a christian. Don't.

don't tell me times have moved on.. that i shld be more liberal. i'll show "liberal" the door. the gospel is unchanging.. it's God's word. not ours. don't change it to suit us. it was not made that way. It was made so that we'll change for God... it was so we'll understand our fallen state.. not to indulge in it further.

read somewhere that times have changed.. that women shld no longer be submissive to their husbands. let me tell ya, i do not agree.. it says clearly in Ephesians 5, that women are to submit to our husbands just as the church submitted to christ. we do not dominate the relationship. yes, i'm a girl. so? i'm not saying that we shld be doormats. i'm saying that we shldn't not rule over our husbands. same reason why pastors aren't women. don't cry foul play. man was after all, created before woman. God wills it that way.. don't change it to suit us!! i plead to my Christian brothers and sisters... pls do not read the Bible the way we deem please. read the Bible the way God wants it to be read.. with God in the center of it all. it's not by man.

And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe. (1 Thes 2:13)

Take heed, my dear christians out there.. take heed of God's words, not man's. and oh yar.. pray for chong yak too.. thanks.

another shopping trip today. i need to stop buying tops.. really. bought another two today. urgh. just one more black/brown capri and pumps and i'm done with my shopping for just about the year.

i shld be studying but just no mood to studying now.. listening to ronan keating though. nice voice... amazing accent.. and gorgeous baby blue peepers. the main topic of my discussion today: eyes. i have a thing for nice eyes. lor says i have an eye/hand fetish. i... ok, i do. but it's not an extreme fetish.. just a slight one.. the word "fetish" makes me sound psychotic. damn.

read a quote off somewhere about eyes. i have somewhat evolved it to something i feel is true. so basically, this is a quote from myself now: "someone once taught me that blue eyes touch the heart, green eyes intrigue the minds and brown ones always bring smiles. but it's the gray eyes that look the deepest into your soul"

very true for me, i wld have to say. how many times have i allowed myself to get lost in the baby blues of ronan keating? or the brownest of brown belonging to johnny depp? or even the sea green eyes of kevin bacon? but gray eyes.. the first time i saw gray eyes was before i entered smu.. on one of my temp jobs. it belonged to an old german man. i was having a crummy morning and he held the lift for me on my way to work. when i turned to thank him, he smiled. then i noticed his eyes. it was just.. i didn't want to look at him for long for it felt like he knew how crummy i was feeling that morning. and i didn't want anyone to know really.. then i thought of the quote i had read. the only other gray eye person i know is aragorn from lotr, played by viggo mortensen. don't know if his eyes are really gray...

so i've always had a thing for guys with nice eyes. (mich, wc, u're reading this right????) mich, u do know it's not puppy-dog eyes.. just.. nice eyes.. to get lost in. for me to rest my tired eyes on. hee hee hee

why am i bringing this up? 'cos i just watch a rerun of kumars at no. 42. ronan was on. and i was just stunned by his baby blue peepers. and plus he looked so much like a little boy lost and excited on the set whenever he grinned. i wasn't the only one swooning. even my younger sister joined me. one of the more charming men around.. plus his accent!! ahaha.. the irish accent. even the grandma was swooning over ronan. she nearly died when he offered to kiss her. then she said that she would die happy if he really kiss her. ahahaha. and i agree. *grinz*

Spent today at home (cept going to sch to collect a case study and corp reporting text to bring home and study..) and i managed to catch the ending of a really old flick. how old? try 1988. 4 years after i was born. i'm not a fan of mediocre films.. but this one got my attention, just 'cos there's kevin bacon inside.

i'm simply intrigued by kevin bacon. sure, he's not the best looking actor ever.. but he certainly is underrated. just look at the movies he has to his name.. he even has a game to his name. "6 degrees of kevin bacon". inspired really by the game 6 degrees of separation. but yes, back to the movie. "she's having a baby". honestly, it's a flick critics would love to hate, and would definitely state the obvious that kevin was top notch in the show. it was hilarious, how he played out each expression expertly on his face, from plain pure horror to one of so much grief and despair. i'm biased. ahaha

i guess.. i kinda have a soft spot for old flicks that talk abt everday life... smth i wldn't be too kind on for more 'modern' flicks. take "my girl", not the thai one. i adore that movie. it's simply bittersweet and sad. (stung to death by bees. how can that not be sad?). i.. i.. anyone up for a oldies "mini movie marathon"? i'm looking at "my girl", "my girl 2", "she's having a baby" and "footloose" (who can have too much of kevin bacon? not me). ok fine, as much as i think kevin bacon is an amazing actor, i watched tremors and seriously wondered why people even bothered making that flick. it's funny but... but.. urgh.. it needs a nicer storyline and more character development. much too common to have a creature-destroying-earth+ppl-screaming+some-supporting-actor/actress-dies+main-character-gets-the-guy/girl and no character development. *urgh*

oh yesh, cherie's got a very nice song on her blog.. i love the song to bits. "flowers in the window" by travis. schweeet... imagine, having that special someone to just look at the flowers in the window with. ah....

flowers in the window--travis
When I first held you I was cold
A melting snowman I was told
But there was no-one there to hold
Before I swore that I would be alone forever more
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad that you feel the same
cos to stand up I'm in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let's watch the flowers grow
There is no reason to feel bad
But there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, madI
t's just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
But I am here to help you with the load
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad that you feel the same
cos to stand up I'm in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let's watch the flowers grow
So now we're here and now is fine
So far away from there
And there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there'll be flowers in the window when we go
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad that you feel the same
cos to stand up I'm in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let's watch the flowers grow
Wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And I'm glad that you feel the same
cos to stand up I'm in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so let's watch the flowers grow
Let's watch the flowers grow

so movie marathon, anyone?

"If all artists strive to be individualistic, aren't they then like any other artist who is striving to be individualistic?"

just a thought that occurred to me during mpw today. i adore mpw class. i think it's the only class (and maybe perhaps twc) that i'll be able to score in. haiz. but with regards to the statement i made above, it's not the first time i've thought abt stuff along the same thread since my jc days. just like how if everyone's weird, that no one really is weird because it becomes normal to be weird. the irony of it all. and i'm not the only one who sees the irony in life. in the movie "the incredibles", the "baddie" said that if everyone were super, then no one would be anymore.

anyway, after mpw today, few of us were hanging around the biz lobby (which would naturally mean level 1 somehow..). i then noticed my last sem's eye candy standing near the lifts, his earring sparkling from the afternoon sun (sounds weird.. yesh.. cannot think of a nicer way to put it). i then realized that all of my eye candies (only 2 so far..) have earrings. it got me thinking.. was it a coincidence? or was the earring one of the contributing factors to me making them my eye candies? ahaha.. guess what, it's the former. a weakness.. a strange weakness but a weakness on my part nevertheless. they're the kind i can imagine being on a bike too.. a ducati, ducati monster, vespa or a caviga raptor. ahaha. for the ignorant, eye candy would really be candy for the eye.. just something nice to enjoy without any emotions/feelings attached to it.

a little under the weather now.. besides that.. i have to say that this sem is pretty enjoyable. subs are tough, and i've got a killing weekly and exam time table too. but oh well, i do enjoy most of my classes.. and plus, i've got nice classmates. =]

do AC guys really have a look that sets them apart from other guys? if so, what's the "look"? i'm kinda oblivious to it despite being in the methodist family for 6 years. some of my friends reckon that AC guys have that AC look.. but it's just something they cannot put their fingers on. i wouldn't think it's a look.. but more of a mannerism.. a quirk that does set them apart from others. the kind of charm i have yet to see in my friends who have never been part of that methodist family. and yet, there have been oddballs in the AC family who fail to possess this charm. few oddballs but i do not deny that it exists.

not saying that AC guys are above all others.. i would say that they have a unique class for them just as i would suppose the Rafflesian guys or Victorian guys would have too. and what constitutes the AC quirk? honestly, i don't know. kind of like just a feeling that hits you. what's that word... charisma. it's an AC charisma.. existing even in my own og during my first 3 mths. it kind just drags u into a friendship with the AC guy so easily.

i dare say it's not an MG-AC familarity sort of thing. the AC guys bonded more easily with the other girls as compared to how the other guys were. in my classes, it was the AC guys who spoke more freely and with more ease around the girls while the guys from other schools remain relatively quieter unless the girls approach them. come to think of it.. all the guys who took the initiative to make friends with me were all AC guys beforehand. save J-ang. but he's an oddity in himself.. a lovable oddity in our og.

come to think of it, there's a certain MG look as well, one i do not possess. a friend once told me that although i look nothing like a MG girl, i had all traits and personality of one. MG girls have a particular trait and personality? even the friend could not list out anything specifically... her answer? "it's just... an.. MG thing lah!"

i cringed a little at the "lah". is that an MG thing? did i mention that there's supposed to be an MG accent too? and an MG way of writing? heaven forbid that i possess any of those! i do love MGS without a doubt.. but to conform to a nonsensical way that people behave in an organization is not my style. i have to admit it though.. my singlish increased in acjc.. and even more in smu. something i have to cut back on, i guess... i really only use singlish to stress a pt. surely there has to be other ways of stressing a pt. and i've drifted off pt here.. or as we would struggle in chinese "chu le dian". yes yes.

as i write this, i've just finished viewing Steph's pics of the acjc orientation, 2005. miss my orientation. smu's orientation cannot be compared to acjc's. i love both differently without ranking in mind. heez.. speaking of smu.. i still have readings to do... anyone wanna get my degree for me?

tmr's the first day of school.. and already i feel tired just thinking abt it.. what a depressing way to start my first post of the year.

after class, i'll be heading down to town.. to check out the FOX sale.. derno how good it is. then gotta get to amk central to buy my contact lens.. will need to check if sy has transferred the money to my acct, get my book back from bryan, force myself to jog tmr until i finally get addicted to jogging.. and praying.. praying so hard for a muse to come along and help me with my song.. can't get anything.. hope to clear it by this tuesday. pray for me and my song.. i don't wanna hit the billboard charts.. just want a song that will talk to people abt the gospel, abt the book of galatians. pray for me to be faithful and not get caught up in "pretty" words.

oh.. finally got another 2 stories up online.. i know i've been slow in uploading.. hee hee.. lazy man.. gaming a little too much.

ACJC Part 2 (Drops of Jupiter)

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tell me did u sail across the sun
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as cliche as it is, time really does fly when u're having most fun. perhaps that's why i'm going to be 21 already but i still cannot let go of my two years in JC. uni life is fun and i'm lovin' every part of it. but it seems like i look back to my jc days even more than my sec or pri days.
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did u make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
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after the 1st 3 mths, i got posted to YJC. thanks be to God and i returned to acjc. i didn't want to leave. i loved my friends and teachers too much to want to leave. ray was that ever loving "granddad". baojin's that sweetie who patted my head while i cried after being posted out of ac. ky was more certain than me that my appeal would be approved. lk told me not to worry, that i would surely return to ac. dom, yiling and coach called me constantly when i was in YJC.. mr how helped pull me back into ac. and mr yeo believed in me and went against the sch's system to fit me into a class doing 4 subjects even though i did not make the mark. after just that one week of highs and lows, i broke down, thanking God for all He had done for me... for the friendships in my sch mates.. for the encouragement in those same tutors who remembered me when i went back for my A level results.
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and that heaven is overrated
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then sa5 came into the picture. i think i mentioned once that we never were close until the end of 2001 where i got frus and organized a party with raj for the nov babies. the late night pool until 4 plus in the morning and finally dragging ourselves to raj's place to sleep. our many class outings to the pool and to the gym. we rarely met just solely for meals. we were the only crazy class still meeting for gym during the A level Chem papers. i remember some of my friends walking into the gym to talk to me, calling me "hardcore" and what-not. me being that sister and "leader" of the girls... to being the "brudder" of the guys.. the ultimate scandal creator capable of creating smoke without fire and of course, the sgt of the class.
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tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet
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we definitely had moments where we just sat and laughed.. esp with the girls. i adore my sisters and brothers to bits! sd and mich's run in with the wailers at the stairway, spoiling our image of the song "all or nothing" at all. the little crushes along the way that we sorted out together. even the time where i nearly killed the next rugby capt. i don't think he ever knew it but i seriously didn't know he was behind the gym door when i pushed it opened. and his idiotic friend only stared on in amusement, not stopping me. and i pushed it even harder when the door rebounded! i apologize again.
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did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
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post exam games, fun-o-rama, teacher's day.. just to name a few of the sig times we gathered to sit, laugh, talk and crap.. even assembly was not spared, whether on the track or in the hall. the times of eating the void deck.. all the sting rays, curry veg, chap chai peng, tau huay and the honeyed candy during chinese new year where we had almost everyone staring at us as we twirled the candy to our own amusement. i had friends complaining to me abt their own classes.. then wishing that they were in my class. and i never failed to thank God for being there for me as i worked through each chapter of my life story.
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and head back to the milky way
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friendships grew stronger... friends became crappier to my joy. i enjoyed life really.. it was super super fun.. all the crazy moments.. even breakfast during wed morning econs lecture. and lk scared me to bits during one of our conversations. he said he knew i liked someone in his class.. i didn't, naturally. but one of my friends did. for a second, i thought his class had thought wrongly! thank goodness sc cleared up everything for me, telling me that lk always did that.. but i do not deny that lk was someone who made me smile.
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and tell me, did venus blow your mind, was it everything you wanted to find
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all the meals together in the void deck.. assam stingray, curry veg, tau huay, beef horfun, mashed potatoes that made me high, yong tau foo and chee kueh.. our hysterical moments during econs lecture which we were sure annoyed chia to no end. she was always staring at my crazy class.. zhennan adored singing baywatch and ding dong bell.. then my very bad estimation of stuffing the whole wafer into my mouth. mich and i were red in the face and hiding from chia as we chortled inwardly. i swear, it felt like the whole lt was staring at both of us as we vibrated in our chairs with silent laughter.
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tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
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prom was one huge event for me... the class was so indecisive.. i ended up making the decision for everyone. it was like, "ok, you're going. call "so-and-so" and "so-and-so" and tell them that you're going so they have to go." but if i could go back, i wld change some things that night. i would have dressed up differently for the prom.. taken more photos with more ppl.. more film!! and would have not played "truth & truth" that night.. seriously.. i won't have played that game. the story game was enough for me... who knew that we, the talented few, cld come up with stories abt hairy naked fruits?
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one without a permanent scar
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even our little meetings after we graduated. honestly, i need to stop planning for them. it stresses me so.. will just sit back and wait for others to do it now... not that i'm lazy. but it's nice to just sit back once in a while and let others work their magic. just that i wish the recent acjc reunion was better.. that more of the sa5ivers had made it that evening. hoping for another reunion next year.. and i promise to have more fun next year.. but for now, alex, steve? thanks for this year's! once sang this during a dboat training session. "Once in our lives, 2 yrs of our time." and what an amazing 2 years it has been!!
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and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there.