Little Prince (I)

i've lost count of the number of times i've read little prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. and the book still makes me sit and reflect. i'm going to be 21 already, damn it. it's too old. i know i know.. "you're only as old as you think you are". damn cliches. as if society will accept a 21 yr old trying to live like a 12 yr old. sure, i can go against society. then i'll get shit like "act your own age" or "you're older so you need to grow up". contradictory, isn't it? why do i care what society thinks? 'cos it's me. 'cos it's human nature whether we like it or not. and how we act impacts society when they look at our beliefs and what-not (read Titus 2:1-10).

the world is made of hypocritical critics. think abt it. imperfect beings criticizing the imperfect world. the imperfect world criticizing the imperfect beings. c'mon, we're all part of that fallen state of man. i'm not saying the world is bad. God's creation is good, isn't it? but we create that state of imperfection through our own actions, me included. anyway, i digress.

i don't want to grow up to be that lady on the street, working up her way on the corporate ladder and being sadden by my working life. was talking to mom. she remarked that when she retires, she might go into farming. not that she specially enjoys farming. she just wants to do smth different. i wanted to ask her the pt of doing smth different just for the sake of not doing the same thing. it didn't make sense. shldn't she then go sew clothes? she once said she wanted to be a seamstress 'cos she knew she wld enjoy it. i guess when adults get so desperate to do smth diff, they do the first thing that comes along. take a kid for e.g. if a child is tired of working, he/she does smth he/she enjoys (in my case it's writing or recently online shopping). they don't even consider sleeping unless it's smth they enjoy.

adulthood is scary. i will assume responsibility when the time arises. i will try to be as godly as i can through my living. but who says that those attributes can only acheived through adulthood? i beg to differ. reading the little prince... seeing how the king, geographer, banker and lamp post lighter did what they did just 'cos of "matters of consequences"... *shudder* if that's what being an adult is, i don't wanna be one.

i'm just afraid. afraid of turning into one of those adults who do things for the sake of doing it rather than because they want to. and i might be headed down this path if i don't continually reflect on my reason in being in acctancy. if you think that sounds selfish.. if you think that's ungodly, you're wrong there. i don't try live a godly life (ok, i'm not perfect, k?) just because all my christian friends are doing it. i'm not doing it for the sake of just doing it. i'm doing it 'cos i want to.. 'cos i have the good news of God. i'm not immortalizing myself through this post, pls don't miss the pt i'm trying to make here.. i don't wanna give ppl the "holier than thou" shit. it's just me, aites? i'm really just saying that i want to do things because i have a valid reason to make me want to do it. following the crowd is not a tossing valid reason. my valid reason is God's grace. 'nuff said.