my most vulnerable post ever

i'm in love with my fellow brothers and sisters from cf.. even more so each day... and i really thank God for them... thank God that they have been such an encouraging bunch.. for seeing me through each day with their words of wisdom and comfort.. even more so for the constant reminder to always trust in God.. to please God above all in all my decisions..

it's not easy.. to look at my loved ones who are non-believers.. it breaks my heart even more to know that they have no intention of wanting to learn more about God.. esp when i seem to shut them out when i get all "preachy". it's all these thoughts of helplessness that get me down at the end of the day.. then before i go to bed, i speak to one or two of the cf-ers and suddenly, life's not so bad.. 'cos they tell me not to give up.. to hang in there and perservere for God.. and it reminds me that i shld do what i can do.. and leave everything else in God's hands.. God never intended for me to be alone for we were created to be relational beings... and He gave me a wonderful fellowship which i adore to bits.

i don't think i've ever had such a bunch of selfless friends before... to have such a bunch of like-minded friends where we share the same passion of our Lord Savior.. and to help guide me back to the impt stuff when i'm distracted. it's funny how i can return home dishearted and seemingly lonely even with my other friends.. and coming home just to read a crappy email from david is more than enough to cheer me up and remind me that hey, i do have like-minded brothers and sisters who care for me.. then more chatting with cf friends.. and life's a lot brighter... just knowing that these are the ppl who will be there with me in the Kingdom of God. Thank God for being in charge of it all! =]

my most vulnerable post? i guess... it's really just me, growing up and realizing that hey, i can't do this on my own.. i'm not ms independent, not ms strong.. i never was, my dear sa5, whatever you think of me, be it sgt, staff sgt or master sgt (never made it to Lt...) i need ppl around me constantly.. edging me on.. i'm not the tough dragonboater.. i'm that little girl in the corner, wondering why ppl think i'm able to make it on my own.

to fordie, my dear teddy bear of a brother... u did nothing more but sat there that night by the car-less road with me while i cried and poured out my confusion.. and that was all i needed from u that night, the assurance of a brother to turn to.. to the previous ex-co, thank you for the late night talks.. the constant encouragement, pushing and reminder of the centrality of God in our lives and fred's long final letter to each of us.. heez.. to the current ex-co, for the late night chats.. simple crapping and meals and the constant encouragement and reminder of the centrality of God in our lives.. to michlee.. for seeing me through my struggles as a Christian.. for the reassuring hug that night during FOC that comforted me. Thank you, my precious dears..