Lord, grant that i shall never seek
so much to be consoled as to console
to be understood, as to understand
or to be loved, as to love with all my heart
- Band of Brothers









Part 6 of the series. it's a pov of Eugene Roe, the medic of Easy Company, as the men hold out the front line at Bastogne. they are tired.. too many are getting injured and sick.. supplies are low.. medication is even lower.. and it's going to be Christmas in the middle of WW2. and the germans present them with shelling time and time again.

the above quote was from Eugene Roe in the show. no idea if the real Eugene Roe really said those lines but they just make sense. given his situation then, he was about to break down.. abt to crumble. and the prayer was muttered by Shane Taylor, the guy who plays Eugene Roe in BoB. the look of exhaustion, the wretched dirtied face who's so overwhelmed by his role when he had no medical experience prior to the war. yet the character found the strength to console, understand and love more than he would ever receive.

having just finished the study on loving one another on tuesday. done my time for this sem. time to take a back seat for my group leader. this assist. leader is gonna smile and encourage you from the sidelines. anywayz, yes. the study.

after the leader's bs last week, wai asked us to take time to sit and reflect on the passage together. we always say love one another because it's God's command. while sharing, i admitted that i get very disheartened when i try my best to love those who are hard to love.. but don't feel loved in return. like it's a one way thing and not a two way thing. we spoke abt the importance of it being a 2-way thing and i felt quite at ease that night.

Yet before i went to bed, i had a nagging feeling that i was wrong.. so wrong.. i took up my bible again and started to read.. to read and remember. 1 John 3:16 (something with John and 3:16.. ahaha) says that Jesus laid down his life for us. and we were to do the same.. practice that form of self-sacrifical love. then i paused and closed my eyes. re-enacted. thought of the Gospels..

"Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34

i opened my eyes.

what a fool i've been.

when Jesus gave up his life.. when he laid down his life.. when he died for us.. he knew then at that point of time, he was dying for his enemies. not just for those who loved him. for those who hated him as well. He died.. for everyone of us.

how dumb was i! i keep telling ppl to be like Christ.. i keep telling myself that as well.. and there i was earlier, seeking reciprocated love before i would love more. how shameful. so when i turned back to my older posts, i saw that quote which i had put up in one of my posts in the early middle of this year. reminding myself to continually be the best i can be and more.. to not let others affect how i please God. will keep praying.. for me.. for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.. that truly, we will do as God has commanded.. to keep loving each other..

as for the rest of the episode. Eugene met a nurse in the hospital where he would go to get supplies. they start talking and he finally has a friend.. has someone who sees him more than just a medic.. but sees him as a fellow helper in the war. then the germans bomb the hospital just as Eugene reach to get more supplies. and he loses a compadre in the war.. again.. like his many other friends in the war. but he has a duty. to continue assuming the role that was assigned to him.. to help others.. to put them before himself. which is why during the way, you rarely see oppositions hit the medic.

others:
Chung Sean Vun don't like my wishlist... actually, it depresses me to look at it 'cos i haven't bought a single thing from there yet. and i'm buying other CDs.. considering james blunt and bsb. yes, u saw it right. bsb. i'm a lame-no-brainer love song sap. derno leh.. still thinking. getting rid of wishlist. and i'm upset. marty and mig weren't the final 2 for rockstar. it was marty and jd. damn. and no, marty didn't win. jd did. i'm quite upset. haiz.. but mig was good on bohemian rhapsody. i don't quite understand that song though..