i thought it was bad when my friends were matchmaking me or teasing me with guys..

now my family's into it.

my dearest sisters found a photo in the stack that we recently developed of me and a guy friend. they promptly took it to my grandma who now thinks i'm attached. of course i called her up and rectified the issue. maybe it's a ploy to get me to talk my granny abt such issues.. i don't really like the bgr talks that i have with her 'cos she's getting a bit too worried abt me being single..

i don't understand the two morons. i love them.. i really do.. but don't get me into nonsensical trouble like that.. esp when that friend is attached already! *bleepity bleeping bleep* man.. speaking of guys.. i met rhys just now. it was nice to see a familiar face after so long. kinda like how it was when i met lem after losing contact once we left acjc.. just.. bittersweet nostalgia

don't feel too good now. think i ate too much for dinner esp with my current state. got a consistent slight cough while my nose goes crazy on me once in a while. rowed on the left today during training. it felt good to return to the left after so long though it also meant that i had to relearn the strokes on my left now. challenging but Mr Sng was really precise and clear when i approached him for more help after training.

when i rowed, all i could think of was my guiding arm.. my back when joan reminded me.. twisting more.. bending the pulling arm.. full blade in water.. vertical entry..

and once Zhui shouts "Easy" after each 1 min set, the first thought that enters my heard is "Shit.. AFA.." tiredness and stress don't agree with me. i got so frustrated with my wandering mind cos i knew that i was to reflect on my pulling and transfer. so whenever i rowed, i really tried to get myself so tired that i would only think abt recovering in time for the next set. during bathtime, i couldn't really stand straight in the showers. was shaking a little and my actions felt slow and deliberate as the hands were slowly loosening up after cramping up. my back's a little stiff right now.

sorry, joan! you had to keep correcting me just now. i'm really trying my best to relax my back more.. but i still freeze up when i don't think abt my back and worry about my guiding hand. will take note of it next training all the way up to June Fest next year!

back to my current basketcase state. my fingers are still shaking. feeling giddy plus i nearly threw up my dinner just now. still feel like throwing up a little and i still have AMA and AFA to do. happy happy joy joy. i'm ok with the workload. just not in my current physical and mental state where i really wonder if i'm headed for that crash and burn state.

i miss both my sunshine boy and happy nut now..

****
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
- Savage Garden (Crash and Burn)