just finished talking to aunty boon hong. i miss her and melbourne. it's one of the three places that i wanna return to so badly. first being taiwan, second is melbourne and third is vietnam. anywayz..

she was asking me abt my job and the opportunities for secondment. to be honest, it's just sooo tempting.. to be able to go work in melbourne. walking down flinder's once again.. sinful krispy kreme.. QVM.. just the cool crisp air with a slight tinge of burnt leaves (no thanks to the bushfires).. and the people are just so nice there.

and imagine the theological exposure and freedom that i wld have there! to not worry abt going to church or being even more active in my ministry.. the relaxed working culture.. when i told her that i hoped to not work beyond 9pm, she was horrified. in oz, the working culture is just so relaxed! they get the job done but they aren't workaholics..

and a summer house at lorne on the way to the Great Ocean Road! i'm honestly floating in lala land right now. but just the thought of it. just sooooo tempting.

am i running away from persecution? am i letting my decisions be governed by what God has asked of me? to just please Him? to just glorify Him in all that i do? why melbourne? why not taiwan where there are so many others who have not heard the gospel? why not vietnam? actually, i don't mind..

which begets the question.. if God ever decides that i'm to end up in a desolate place that i'm not that fond of... will i still strive to please Him and proclaim His word faithfully? i really don't know. and whilst talking to steph, i noticed her msn nick.

"Yes I thank You, Lord... Trusting His Heart"

Dan Burgess' song comes into mind and i find myself just singing the chorus to myself until steph sent me the entire song lyrics. the words are just so powerful and so challenging.. and real.

I thank You Lord - Dan Burgess

And I thank You Lord

For the trials that come my way

In that way I can grow each day

As I let You lead

And I thank You Lord

For the patience those trials bring

In that process of growing

I can learn to care

But it goes against the way I am

To put my human nature down

And let the Spirit take control of all I do

For when those trials come

My human nature shouts the things to do

And God's soft prompting

Can be easily ignored

But I thank You Lord

With each trial I feel inside

That You're there to help lead and guide

Me away from wrong

For You promised, Lord

That with every testing

That Your way of escaping's

Easier to bear

Yes, I thank You Lord

For the victory that growing brings

In surrender of everything

Life is so worthwhile

And I thank You Lord

That when everything's put in place

Out in front I can see Your face

And it's there You belong

I'm gonna just keep trusting... and let the Spirit take control of all i do.. that the soft prompting from God is gonna drown out the shouts of my sinful nature. that i'm just gonna stop giving excuses abt how hard it is to put that human nature down. no matter how hard it is, i'm gonna give in to the Spirit..

to the One who died for me and reconciled me back into His perfect kingdom..

to the One who gives me hope for tmr and days to come.

my אֶהְיֶה