i haven't been in a great mood today. just.. grouchy. evan cld tell. gabe-san cld tell..

perhaps it's just me being ill-mannered and not wanting to grow up. not wanting to face the truths of life that i need to move on.. but.. gosh. i can't believe that i'm missing stuff like "foster's home for imaginary friends" and "ed, edd and eddy".. this is proof of my reluctance to move on with life.

am i not trusting enough in Him?

will i continue to hold fast to Him? will i still be that vulnerable little girl clinging to His feet and letting go of everything else? or will i become a hard nut that no one can break through? will i become power hungry and ignore all that He's done for me? when i stand in front of Him, will i be able to say, "God, I'm Yours. I always have been."

oh god. i'm freaking out now.

but thanks to my dear friends who let me whine the entire night away.. to just let out part of that fear... that frustration at my helplessness at this point of time. never felt so terrible.. i've always moved on with life fine. why not now?

just gotta keep trusting in You. let me keep trusting in You. help me keep trusting in You.