121 days more to christmas.

why christmas? i don't know. it's not like i'm still a student in cf. i knew that i looked forward to christmas every year when i was in the cf.. not just christmas..

the camps..

the AGM..

the graduation of seniors..

the start of a new sch year..

then it struck me. it's because of events or days like these where the cfers just get together, squeeze into whatever area that's given to us... and eat.

joking!! we don't just eat.. we chat.. we laugh.. we photo-whore with one another..

i don't know how many afterglows i've organized... did one AGM lunch.. one thanksgiving dinner.. started the post-christmas pre-ny party 'tradition'. i remember our first one was at mich's place where we sat around and watched love actually.. the welcome receps..

gosh.. all the memories. i somehow forget the troubles i've faced during the organizing. i remember being fractic but not the reason behind it. but i remember the events i've organized..

just because the faces of the cfers having a laugh.. just gathering together.. taking that time out to chat and get to know one another better..

i feel sooo blessed that i've had the chance to be part of this fellowship.. that opportunity to serve the girls and the guys. sure, i might have been difficult at times.. obnoxious even.. but they took all my sinfulness in their stride and looking at them, there's no way i could sit at the sidelines and not bother abt them.

sure, there are times where i'm tempted to throw in the towel and tell God that i'll serve Him in my own way.. where i don't have to be committed to any ministry but my own. it disheartens me when i find myself giving but people don't respond. when they don't bother to smile at you anymore.. when they treat you like a stranger after one term.. yet when i look at the existing cfers.. the heart underneath all of them..

never could i leave them. when the girls come to me.. i find it soo hard to push them away even when i'm tired.. i try my earnest best to maintain this camaderie. my Lord never pushed me away.. how can i do that to His people?

121 days more to christmas. let's party. :)

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on a side note, please pray for me. my lower back's been giving me probs.. the muscle relaxers from the doc are not working. they just make me sleepy. Mr Lim, my sinseh, is scaring me with talk of bunched up nerves and muscle problem.. going to make an appt with the physiotherapist soon. just pray for me that i'll be able to get thru the pain for now.. cos as much as i just wanna lie in bed and not move, it hurts to even toss and turn..