it's strange that everyone seems to be getting married around me right now.

sunday night, i ended up at Holland V with the usual crew. in the midst of being distracted either by the incredibly spicy meal at thai express or the footy at wala wala, we ended up talking abt the sudden surge of people getting married around me.

i've lost count of the sec sch mates who have married already. so in the middle of the conversation, i sighed and said, "i seriously feel the pressure."

to which, 3 pairs of astonished eyes stared back at me. realizing what i said, i rolled my eyes and continued, "on my wallet! i feel the pressure on my wallet!!"

yes, i'm happy for my friends. i really am. plus, the whole wedding planning thing? it's damn tiring but such a rewarding experience. it's not the gratitude. it's seeing the smiles on the faces during the wedding itself. to know that you had that part in making them happy.

(happy moments taken from Stephy's album)

i don't even need words of gratitude. i just need to see that smile. to hear that laugh. to know that people are having fun. to know that people enjoy that moment. i'll gladly take the burden of the stress for my brothers and sisters.

but i do admit it. i worry. i wonder what it'll feel like 10 years down the road when my friends are married with kids and i watch from the sidelines alone. then again, i wonder if i'll even be around 10 years from now to watch their kids grow up.

and then i keep on telling myself:

"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Phi 4:12-13

i will be content. i have to be content. just because He gives me strength to be content. i'll just have to keep reminding myself that He's got plans for me. important ones. i don't know what each small plan is. but i just keep working on being the person He made me to be.

I want to live like there's no tomorrow

I want to dance like no one's around

I want to sing like nobody's listening

Before I lay my body down

I want to give like I have plenty

I want to love like I'm not afraid

I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

- Chris Tomlin "the way i was made"

Lord, keep me growing in knowledge of You, that i may always be content.