earworm of the mo'



the music is insanely catchy. probably one of the best dance songs of the year and it's only March. 2pm still has time to release something to blow my mind. D.Guetta has nothing on the pop/R&B dance songs that kpop churns out. SNSD's "the boys" has undertones of the western dance music for obvious reasons... but Fantastic Baby is pure kpop beauty. just like their "Ain't No Fun", "Strong Baby" and "Lies".

which is why BigBang won the first ever Best Worldwide Act during the MTV Europe Music Awards 2011, beating the likes of Jay Chou and Britney Spears.

which is why people all over the world are raving about BigBang's return to the music scene.

or why Pixie Lott decided to use GDragon and TOP for a song.


oh frivolous entertainment, you get better each day as i listen to more k-radio or watch more stitch-inducing parodies or variety shows. this is asian level ^.^

I cannot and, hence, will not accept that life is based purely on chances.

If it's purely by chance and a mere coincidence that the water cycle is the way it is...

If it's purely by chance and a mere coincidence that life cycle is the way it is...

If it's purely by chance and a mere coincidence that the big bang theory is the way it is...

If it's purely by chance and a mere coincidence that evolution is the way it is...


Science explains how things happen. The beauty of the mechanism. But it can never explain the reason for it happening. Why water evaporates. Why it boils at 100C. Why there is 21% of oxygen in our atmosphere.


To attribute it to chance or ignorance or simply coincidence?


Then how do you define emotions? What is fear? What is hatred? What is joy? Anger?

All just emotions that can be described but with no basis except chance and coincidence or something that happens for no reason?

No reason for feelings. No reason behind why we are engineered to feel fear, hatred, joy or anger. what triggers what? a mere coincidence that being face to face with a predator sends triggers to your mind and causes fear?


What about love?


No reason for it. Perhaps then there is no reason to have it. after all, why pursue something with no inherent meaning other than artificial importance assigned to it by a being that was created by coincidence? logical, ain't it?

I don't think I'd like that very much.

I don't understand why God wills for certain things to happen or why He makes the world work the way it does. Or why He chose to confound by starting and ending the Bible with poetic hebrew imagery literature. But at least I know He had a reason for it. I may not fully comprehend it. I don't know.

"For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God." - 1 Cor 2:11

Then let me be the illogical senseless fool who is trying to understand the meaning behind things and assigning reason to life than to have no meaning at all.

taiwan was mad and mellow fun all at the same time. the insane chomping down on food along the streets we roamed... R and I getting ourselves lost and embracing that feeling of not knowing where we were. S being so incredibly sick that she would wake R up each night with her coughing 'cos he was such a light sleeper. me being dead to the world 'cos my fatigue.

all the HTHT late in the night as we laid under the covers, away from home.

of course the HTHT was for R as he struggled with bgr issues (as do many of us).

we spoke and it made me remember how different girls and guys are.

it's not our fault that we run and hide when we're trying to reject someone. it's our defense mechanism. beyond that, it's how we avoid contact so the guy will stop thinking about us and realize that it's all futile and that they will move on. of course R explained that it just makes him confused and want to hang in there. perseverance should win right?

unfortunately, no. in fact, it will annoy the girl. i tried my best to explain it to him that it's going to take a lot for a girl to change her mind after she's chosen to run and avoid. and that he'd probably end up pissing her off by still being there for her. she runs 'cos she wants to get away.

then he lapsed into emo-mode. =.=

regardless, it was an enlightening moment for us all as we got to know one another better, through the bedtime talks, beer, food-hunting, mindless walking and staring down at the county from the hilltop. a fun trio to travel with especially when they let me run off alone at times. don't mind another trip with the two insane travel-buddies. ^.^

it's not even Feb and i've been to the doctor's 4 times. none for common symptoms like flu or cough or colds...

first two were inflamed lymph nodes and blood tests.. then there was food poisoning... and finally a burst blood vessel in my right eye.

i'm such a liability to have in any company. as if my surgery at K wasn't expensive enough, i'm making full use of my medical insurance at S without a doubt.

i cannot be more of a tiresome burden.

being sick is really quite a crummy feeling. dear cheerios, why u no make me happy?

coupled with being gas-sy (yes, it's gross. i'm sick!) and bloated, i am almost constantly hungry. food is being digested at a crazy speed. too much gas.

to top it off, i've been waking up in the middle of the night. i do go back to sleep quickly but the disruptions are insane. and i'm left tired the next day.

i need a break. Taiwan couldn't come sooner.

so aisec had a roadshow today about problem gambling. if you allow yourself to be put through a typical gambling-is-a-problem lecture and 3 short games, you earn yourself a popcorn and/or cotton candy.

i always have a soft spot for cotton candy. so i decided to go ahead with it. the speech was boring 'cos i really could just read off the boards. then the games were all about chance. of course, it's a gambling roadshow and anyway, all games ARE about chance.

the last game required me to stand at a particular spot and lobe a tennis ball into a drinking cup. i stood at the spot, extended my arm, leaned over, and dropped the ball into the cup easily. at this point, i was thinking of a certain Mr Ok and his cheat-my-way-through-everything methods. then the guy taking me through the stations and games looked at me, "You can't do that."

aegyo-mode kicked in. i looked at him, widen my eyes in mock-shock, "oh? cannot? i'm sorry! really cannot?"

he coughed and turned away. i blame the high ponytail and the gray owl hoodie. they make me feel like i can act cute and get away with murder.

later the guy said that he could teach me how to twirl my own cotton candy. i looked up at him, instinctively on aegyo-mode again, "but i will make a mess of it. there's going to be sugar everywhere and no cotton candy. *insert sad little girl face* can you please help me just make a small one?"

he coughed softly this time, looked away for a second before looking up to call for his friend to make one for me.

i'm too annoying. ^.^

i've become a 14 year old hallyu fan. and when the phase dies down and i re-read my blog, i will probably consider deleting this. nevertheless.. kpop is here to stay for a while.

manufactured dance machines forced to undergo vocal and dance classes and be the top of their games. having heard a couple of boyband types sing live and on the spot during variety game shows at the request of the MC sans music.. oh yea, it's either they are really talented or that's damn a lot of vocal classes. musical instruments are only permissible if all members are crazily talented and look pretty. look at CN Blue and FT Island. plastic surgery? too common. no one really cares unless you're really disillusioned. crazy hairs and outfits? the louder the better. what you get in return for the blood, sweat and tears of these "hallyu idols" is pure refined entertainment that only the south koreans can provide. forget auto-tune. 

of course that Kpop defining moment when Britney Spears and Jay Chou lost to Big Bang in the MTV EMA Worldwide act category in 2011.

my one "addiction"? 2 pm. i blame my friends for introducing Running Man and 2 pm. two of them even used 2 pm's "Without You" intro as part of their wedding march in. which was really quite impressive. doesn't help when i have others who also fawn over them and add fuel along the way. but these boys are too good-looking! and of course, under the JYP entertainment group, they are mad talented, given that i have heard them sing on cue without music.

and they are mad too. a friend introduced me to their own variety show. absolute insanity. but you wouldn't expect anything less from a bunch of 22 to 24 year old boys who don't seem to care about their image. in the latest episode, they had to take care of Moon Mason (adorable 5 year old) and his two younger brothers. to see them looking after the little tykes.. extremely heart-warming. extremely heart-melting.

i need to grow up. not now. but soon enough. ^^

very few shows make me want to blog about them. i haven't even mentioned Running Man (the korean variety series) which i watch almost every night, overtaking Glee.

but Sungkyunkwan Scandal. omg Sungkyunkwan Scandal. (read synoposis here)

beyond the show being a feast for all girls (Park Yoo Chun, Yoo Ah In, Song Joong Ki and Jun Tae Soo) and guys alike (Park Min Young, Seo Hyo Rim and Kim Min Seo), little details of the show just intrigue me. like how "Prof Jung" chooses to teach the Analects of Confucius. such crazy methods. amazing character development of the Prof.

Naturally we're all rooting for the Park Yoo Chun's character and Park Min Young's character to overcome all things and secretly melting every time Song Joong Ki winks.. or when Yoo Ah In puts his hair up.. or when Jun Tae Soo smiles gently at Kim Min Seo's character.

but if you wish to look past the fairytale nonsense... it's awe-inducing to see the King plan against the Noron and Soron factions because he wants to rid corruption and reinstates the Joseon dynasty... his plans that usually lead to or have a deeper meaning to teach not only the two fighting factions but also the students at Sungkyunkwan who are equally divided by factions according to the dorms they stay in... how a Noron, two Sorons, and a Namin (meaning the poor with no political involvement) slowly realize that the bond between them is beyond all political boundaries.

amazing show. and i'm only at ep15. 5 more to go.

Yet while i secretly root for the King, obviously not sure if his plans worked out right 'cos Hanyang is still the capital of South Korea today.. while i admire Professor Jung's unorthodox teaching methods and wit.. the prominent love story message is not lost on me.

it's not enough to find someone who understands you. it's more than being able to communicate well. it's even more than that chemistry and that heart thumping crazily in your chest, about to explode from inside.

it's finding someone who understands and agrees with your life's principals and morals and all that you consider important in life.

once that happens, they understand you. they can communicate with you. and if so, the chemistry that may occur allows for so much more. just like the characters Kim Yoon Hee and Lee Sun Joon. everything started and developed because they understand and agree on what that is important in their lives.

fairytale lala stories don't ever teach that. thank goodness for Sungkyunkwan Scandal. ^-^

Fruitful time with insane friends who, despite knowing that they are going to hit the big 3-0, will never grow up. the childish humor. attempted jokes falling flat. annoying me whenever they can..

but beyond all that, everyone's just growing up. the couples are getting married. the married ones are having kids. people are moving on to the next stage in life.

which usually result in friends attempting to matchmake me whenever they meet me. can't tell if they are joking or not but and it does annoy me. why do people think that i need a man? why do people feel that one needs to be in a bgr?

yes, being in a bgr has its good points. but i can think of so many bad points as well. it's a nice-to-have, not a must-have. yet people get their knickers in a bunch about my status. if i don't care about it, why should others? i am content with my own space. and who's to say i need a partner to move to the next stage in life?

relationship statuses should simply tell people whether you're attached or not. they don't define you. the worse thing you can ever do is to enter into a relationship when you feel lonely. a partner is not someone you use to fill a void in your life. that belittles a person. it treats the person as a means to an end. a partner is simply someone you spend the rest of your life with. i do usually wonder if a person is in the relationship because they are in love with their partner or because they are in love with the idea of being in a relationship. in love with the idea of having someone there. in love with the idea of being wanted and wanting someone. in love with the idea of being in love, never realizing that as long as they feel that way, they'll never truly understand love as it is.

this is my next stage in life. to let people know i have no voids in my life that need to be filled out by a guy. to live just as life is. my trip into this world and probably out of this world is one without a man. who's to say that this entire journey can't be without a man too?

i have my family. i have my friends. i have God. i have all the company to get by life very well, thank you very much. :)

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Cor 13:1-3


visited The Crossing today. Pastor Denesh spoke of love in the church using 1 John 2:7-11, to explain the litmus test of where we stood with regards to our response to God.


naturally, 1 Cor 13 comes to mind when one talks about love. while we see love demonstrated most clearly on the cross, 1 Cor 13 shows me what God wants me to remember how He sees love in my life.


i have been straying, i admit. i do feel lost at times. today was an amazing reminder for me to get back in the loop and maintain that fellowship with old friends and new ones too.. to remember to love my brothers and sisters in church.


too many times have i let them slip through the cracks simply because i don't know what to do. but not knowing what to do doesn't warrant my 'indifference' which really works out not to be indifference but hatred in the eyes of the Lord.


it is trying. it is tiring.. to want to maintain that friendship with people who are volatile and emo and expect you to seek them out as a way to sustain their egos. and it's disheartening to know that these people know God too.


i'm no saint. i have my moments. where i just want shut my brothers and sisters out. but God calls me to love them. constantly. consistently. all of them. including those that make it hard for me to love them.


it means meeting up. it means chatting with them. it means sending a text when an emo fb/twitter post appears on your newsfeed even though you know that person is a perpetual emo-nemo. and it means not being frustrated when you are met with nothing on their part. that's love by God's terms, not mine. and i have to deal with that.


how very frustrating.




but i'll keep on keeping on. just because He's God. because while i don't understand much now, i will in due time. i will. :)

so the hallyu wave has taken Singapore over by storm. and oh what a feast for the eyes.

thanks to my reuters darling, i'm as hooked on Running Man as she is. ok, i'm not as crazy as her yet. but yes, there's a reason why i was wondering if this post should be up on Visual Candy. presenting... Jang Hyuk

before you dismiss him as a typical scruffy psycho... this is him now. or at least at the beginning of the year.

he's really just beautiful. of course he was only on Running Man 44 and 45, not counting the one time Kookie bumped into him in don't-know-what episode. Jang Hyuk is all man. but i'm still a pretty-boy girl. so the reason why i go Toly Moly..

Song Joong Ki was amazing in Sungkyunkwan Scandal. there's the piercing and knowing look when he stares down someone. you sense his cheekiness bubbling over with such intensity and aura. he's more than just a pretty face. he's smart (as Running Man explained, Song Joong Ki was one of the top 3 in a South Korean national quiz even before he was famous). and boy can he act~

from his flirting with Song Ji Hyo to his cheekiness of Sungkyunkwan Scandal, SBS and KBS know that they have a keeper on their hands. he's too pretty that Chris thinks it's unreal. but when you have large eyes and a sharp chin even as a kid, there's only so much plastic surgery people can have to look like Song Joong Ki.

TOOO CUTE! i feel like a 14 year old hallyu fan. urgh.

Wanted to go Orchard for a photowalk but the horrendous rain turned me off so I headed back home.

On the bus back, the sight was amazing. Christmas lights from the trees were distorted by the rain streaming down the windows. It's stuff like that which I would miss if I had just been trying to see things through my viewfinder, wondering how to frame the photos.

I've had the fortune of seeing my life through different lenses this whole year. Taking on new roles. Having experiences I never thought I would have, from things as complex as changes in relationship status to things as simple as having one too many rollercoaster rides literally in Florida. Even a new job and finally heading to London alone. At each junction, I take off one lens and put on a new one. And I've learnt so much.

Now at the end of the year, I'm learning to put down all the lenses and just see life for what it is. It's just that simple. Just that amazing. Sure, there were tonnes of tough times this year. But there's a beauty even in the melancholy. It's up to me to decide to see it in a positive light, smile at the memories and learn from each of my lessons this year.


To everyone who has played a part in my life this year (meaning everyone I've met at least once this year), thank you for being a lens at one point. :)