i really shld be more tolerant of a certain group. but they have been irking me. ok, let's generalize them. let's call them "stupid people". Hence, the conclusion is..

i cannot tolerate stupid people.

i swear. i'm not talking abt intelligence. heck, i don't stand very high up on the intelligence scale. i know enough to sprout random facts. but it's not like i qualify for mensa or smth. but i digress. let's break down "stupid people".

1. Bus Seat Bouncers

from this, yes, "stupid" includes "damn rude". for heaven's sake, why can't people sit gently on the bus seat? i can't remember how many times i've been woken up by people who sit so hard that i bounce up in horror. i once went "Woah!" 'cos i seriously flew off the seat. the guy stared at me. then looked forward.

no apology. nada. i think even my foot is more gracious than that. urgh. your brain can't process an apology huh?

2. people with no lift ettiquette

i was pushed by a guy 'cos he was rushing for a lift that was already full and door was closing. when there was obviously another more direct route to the lift without PUSHING me. let me show you the layout.

so this guy is rushing for lift 3 which was quite full. the door was closing. mr smartpants decides to take the dotted line instead of the red line, SHOVING me aside. i was just going to lift 2 which was reaching. after which, he stuck his hands out and forced the lift door open before squeezing in with the displeased lift crowd.

sir, your capacity to scan the lobby and find the no-person area to get to the lift is amazing. and oh yes, i'm sure the people in the lift are very happy with you delaying their trip to the office and adding more human juice to the already saturated lift..

as if this wasn't enough, when lift 2 came, the ladies who went in first pressed their floor buttons and proceeded to the back of the lift. gracious? no.

i was next so i rushed in to press the "door open" button. i was too late. the poor guy after me got hit by the closing door. i sighed very loudly. the two ladies just looked at him and did not say anything. like how the first guy never apologized.

yes, i'm sure it's not your fault you've been working in the building for a while already and cannot remember that the lift door closes quite quickly. and you obviously do not know about the existence of the "Door Open" button.

3. Street Hoggers

this really happened once. a bunch of ladies were strolling down orchard road and blocking the entire pathway between orchard emerald and centerpoint. i can't stand walking slowly. so i say "excuse me". they continue strolling. i walk louder in my heels and say, "excuse me" a little louder. they continue walking slooooooooowly..

i tapped the lady nearest to me, "excuse me, cutting through please.by that time, my tone was annoyed. i was tired and frustrated. the lady moved her friends. as i walked past, i heard one remarked, "that was so rude. where was she rushing to anyway?"

sooo. i'm the rude one for breaking up the group who was having their leisurely stroll and occupying the whole street. (fine, my tone really wasn't pleasant) i shld walk on the road and risk getting knocked down for walking faster than a snail.

4. Cars that pay no attention to the traffic lights
cars still drive on despite the amber light changing to red. and what happens? the cars (mind you, not one car. CARS) end up on the pedestrian crossing. the poor pedestrians weave thru the cars to cross the road. i once saw a driver roll his eyes. oh, the urge to dig them out was so strong.

i'm so sian of such people, i can't even be sarcastic anymore..
*****

it's not the me-first attitude that pisses me off. it's the me-only-you-never attitude. that absolute disregard for others around. oh god. i could be really mean and wish that these people never have kids or truly, the world would be in dire state.. but no. so much for the gracious campaign in Singapore huh?

the stupid mrt door thing is never changing. i swear, we need to scare the bejeezels out of these people. like when they cross the yellow line just as the train door opens when people are getting off, they'll get electric currents surging thru their impolite excuse for bodies.

hallo? are you uneducated? are you bleeping illiterate? or can your brain not process instructions for a more efficient abeit gracious society?

i can't imagine people ruder than these in singapore. oh gosh. seriously. i have no tolerance level for stupid people. urgh. how?

fun fact of the day (1):

Aktiengesellschaft (IPA: ['aktsiəngəzεlʃaft]; abbreviated AG) is a German term that refers to a corporation that is limited by shares, i.e. owned by shareholders, and may be traded on a stock market. The term is used in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. it's made up of 2 words: Aktien which means "shares" and Gesellschaft means "company".

fun fact of the day (2):

Hugo Boss is German. yes. it's Hugo Boss AG.

fun fact of the day (3):

the 'final' Birkenstock sandals were created by Karl Birkenstock, a german man with the design and concept passed down through his family. however, the company is a US trading company. hence, it's not Birkenstock AG.

***
i know.. my snapple bottle cap moments are extremely random but hey, these are seriously interesting little snippets that people don't give thoughts to. like how many people knew abt the Oscar's origin (see blog post here)?

On another note... the itchy-hearted girl in me is thinking of all the things i used to do.. from boogie-ing under the disco lights to jiving or cha cha-ing the afternoon away on the solid dance floor.. from stretching my vocals without using falsettos to shouting in unison in the dragonboat.. from tinkling the ivories to causing muscle burn in the gym.. from ruling the kitchen oven and stove to having the lemon meringue at marmalade pantry..

all seemingly different. yet all provide that little physical escape.. that little rest from work to clear my mind. seriously, i didn't mean to take upon so many things in life. i just do whatever i like to do! as long as it's not illegal or hurtful. it's just tiring 'cos then there are tooo many things for me to want to get back to doing.

and i don't have the resources for it. time. money. i've already got vocal lessons planned for may onwards. then after jr fixes up the guitar, i've got him and another bunch of friends willing to teach me. oh oh oh. i'm never going to get down to funk classes or tango classes.. don't even ask me abt waltz intermediate at this point of time. i'm just grateful i'm not mixing up the steps from samba, rumba, cha cha, jive and waltz. yet..

give me 2 more years without hitting the dance floor at all and no practice, i'll be messing everything up.

then the thought of cooking the whole day thrills me but remembering the dishes to be washed afterwards sends shivers down the spine. i sooo need to snap out of this.

first up, i need to get D&S wedding going before i fly to melb and come back to pick up the remaining pieces before the big day itself. i tell you, i'm going to be a wedding planner and cafe owner who bakes and rules the espresso machine in the future. *fingers crossed*

classic quote of the day.

JP to CQ when she brought the wedding invitation card - "Bring for what? Free admission ah?"

i seriously love them. all the wedding dinners with them have left me literally panting for air, grabbing my stomach in pain and massaging tired laughing cheeks. thank you. thank you for making working life so much more bearable. thank you.

today's been a strange day. the walk under the umbrella as it rained while i made my way to toast wasn't that bad. the rain from the blow of the wind was surprisingly refreshing. lunch was mind-boggling. but still, it was nice to meet up with lamb though it wasn't much of a catching up moment.

after lunch, the rain had stopped and left the weather cool, absolutely ideal to walk in. he ended up walking me back to the office. yes, fine. as much as i tease him and annoy him to bits, i adore my brother.

he just got me thinking abt the need humans have for sense of security. to know that they have nothing to worry for. that in the age of retirement, their debts will be cleared. that they can live in luxury and all.

i ended up staying a little later in office to clear up with stuff with ql. on my way home while waiting at the bus stop, i was enjoying the chill of the evening wind when a lady interrupted my thoughts and asked for directions. i gladly provided her with the directions since i knew it. we ended up on the same bus as her destination was just a few stops before mine.

we chatted as the bus ambled along. i learnt that the pretty nameless lady was a private tutor for Asian languages. we spoke abt language, about accounting. i swear, she didn't look 35. i thought she was in her late 20s. then her next question stunned me.

"so which church do you go to?"

of course i collected myself in a split second and replied. i asked her the same question and we started chatting abt the church. i never got her name. but that one question rang through the night.

just knowing that she was looking at me and talking to me. to know that there was no crucifix pendant or earrings. no screaming bible verse. no visual sight to tell the world i am Christian. just a girl, tired and hungry and just as weary a traveller. a sinner like anyone else in the bus.

just. me.

and He chose me to shine through for Him tonight. to let that halo shine a little brighter to remind one other sister that she's not alone in the world. and that she can take comfort in another sister. it was just humbling.

thank you. thank you so much.

Doesn't anyone ever wonder why the Academy Awards are also known as the "Oscars"? Seems like i'm not the only one "thinking too much".

"Officially named the Academy Award of Merit, the statuette is better known by its nickname, Oscar. While the origins of the moniker aren’t clear, a popular story has it that upon seeing the trophy for the first time, Academy librarian (and eventual executive director) Margaret Herrick remarked that it resembled her Uncle Oscar. The Academy didn’t adopt the nickname officially until 1939, but it was widely known enough by 1934 that Hollywood columnist Sidney Skolsky used it in a piece referring to Katharine Hepburn’s first Best Actress win."
- taken from The Oscar Statuette

there you go. there's another story too.

"The other is film actress Bette Davis won the award for her role in the 1935 thriller, 'Dangerous' and named it after her husband, Harmon Oscar Nelson."
- taken from the Daily Orange

food for thought eh?

Dang, where did those summers of lazing on sentosa, baking under the sun, listening to happy tunes, drinking ice lemon/green tea and mindless banter go to? i think they disappeared when my friend remarked..

"once you hit 25 man..."

I'M NOT THERE YET! dammit. i miss the beach and sun almost as much as i miss the gym. but hey, Kid Rock is awesome stuff man. :P

i've been out of sorts for a while. seriously looking forward to my vacations that are to come, be it the one week getaway in melbs or the weekend in meleka.

i'm still waiting for that opportunity to return to Holland Village's Starbucks, sit there with a book, my grande caramel machiatto and music. maybe a warm cinnamon croissant.. and i'd just blend in a corner and people-watch.. smile at the occasional stranger who looks my way. there shld be a Starbucks at Greenwood.

methinks i should get paid every time i mention starbucks on my blog.

i guess that idyllic moment will be possible when i get my alone time in melbs. can't wait to return to brother baba budan at little bourke street.

there's something about what i do frequently that causes me to lose myself one too many times. (read: my job) i'm missing that girl who came back from melbourne last july. she hasn't disappeared completely, i know. but.. there's just something lacking. i don't know if i can wait until may to find her again.

to those whom i've shared my current struggle with.. please pray for me? that my heart will stop driving me mad and finally find rest. i'm not asking for my heart to stop dreaming. just.. to be a little stronger and less wild.
****
on a side note.. penny arcade killed joey mcintyre after tycho and gabriel declared that they both love him. and so CSI: NY begins on penny arcade. deh deh DEH! but yes, joey is my favorite too. :D

Click on the links below for the comic:
part one
part two
part three

"Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me. 'Cos i'd already know."

- Extreme, "More than Words"

i got a nice treat when SE and Ja came over to serenade us in the Booth with Extreme's "More than Words". and no one could stop them 'cos they were doing it on their own accord. plus, their backs were facing the rest of the room. i adore the boys. i really do.

i know that "words" rank high on my language of love. but let's just say that someone reminded me tonight that sometimes, you really need more than words. ^-^

nearing the end of the first month of the first year. i'm still wondering where this year is going to take me to. the vacations are somewhat planned. the bags are awaiting to be packed. wanderlust still seizes my heart as i wonder when i'm going to find myself resting on a foreign bed with that new pillow in my arms, staring at the alien ceiling not like that of my own bedroom. then sigh at the end of each vacation as i unpack the loadful of bags, staring at familiar four walls just knowing that i've crashed back into reality again.

don't get me wrong. i do enjoy being in the land of the mythical spewing creature. but i adore tripping out of it to get lost in a sea of unfamiliar friendly faces, especially places where there are Nando's chicken restaurants.

that thrill of filling up the passport with multi-colored stamps has overstayed. including, that joy of picking out little soveneir pins for my decorated travelling buddy to highlight the places i've been to. perhaps it's that certain freedom from minimal commitments (like housing loans) that contributes to it, huh?

i'm done with solo trips for a while. of course i like my time alone. but for now, a few hours with a decent book and good coffee in a tiny cosy cafe to the soft strains of gentle acoustics will suffice. the rest of the time, i'll probably be going insane with different people, in strange places striking stranger poses.

for now at least. but i can count on that solo instinct to pack up one day and head out again with me, myself and i. someday. not yet. someday. it's really not as bad or as scary as most people think. in fact, it's incredibly liberating. to be able to make a complete mess of your room and know that it's not going to bother anyone near enough to annoy you with their nagging.

First up, i'm returning to home on bintan for my yearly audit. visit one in march! i can't wait. Back to the dreamy beach acoustics, a good book, fantastic sun and a cold drink. Sigh.

Perfect girl

Step back, let go

You can watch as i crumble in front of you

Take heed, it's me

It's ok to see me crash and burn like any of them

Wake up, eyes open

Come back down to this worldly reality

Hold on, why worry

This is not me going thru temporary insanity

i'm not that girl you think i am

i'm not as strong as i seem

don't speak of me the way you do

i'm not all you make me out to be

i'm no angel, i hope you'll see

i'm not perfect

Breathe out, breathe in

I never promised the world that I would not cry

Hoping, I know

Don't deny me the moments that I fall to my knees

i hurt, i bleed

You cannot ignore the scars that are sketched into me

Eyes shut but you'll see

i am as perfect as the imperfections in me

i'm not that girl you think i am

i'm not as strong as i seem

don't speak of me the way you do

i'm not all you make me out to be

i'm not your angel, i hope you'll see

i'm not that perfect girl

that you think me to be

- SK, Jan 2009

i don't know. somehow, i get the slight inkling that there are people who think a little too well of me. i'm really not as amazing as some people think me to be. those little things i do and say? those times i sat with "you" (i really don't know how many "you's" there are) late at night just to help you work out your walk even though i'm obviously craving my bed at 2.30 a.m because I've a morning class in 6 hours?

i don't want people to think too much about what i do. the actions i take. the words i say. i don't want people to think that they owe me anything. 'cos they don't. i don't want people to think i want anything from them. 'cos i don't.

I've been pondering about that for the past few nights to the tunes of Brian's "Welcome Home" album. Then one of the choruses struck me.

Welcome home, you

I know you by name

How do you do

I shine because of you today

So come here sit down

Tell Me how you are

I know, son, it's good just to see your face

- Brian Littrell "Welcome Home (You)"

that's all i want. that's all i need. that at the end of my road when i come face to face with Him and cry, "my Lord," and He'll look at me and tell me that He knows my name. that He'll look at me and tell me He's watched my victories. that He's seen my failures. and He'll call me to His side and tell me that it's all over. that i'm home.

i've given up wondering why my kind deeds seem to not be reciprocated. why sometimes my service seems one-sided. 'cos everyone will feel that way at one point of time. and Heaven forbid that i do things only because i expect something in return.

to the "you" that i mentioned earlier. i don't expect "you" to stay up 'til 2.30 am with me while i discuss BT or cry. i don't expect "you" to listen to me whenever i need a listening ear. if i could ask for one thing, it wld be that "you" will always remember my service to "you" and know that whenever "you" need that service again, come to me. let me serve "you", my brother/sister.

it's been one helluva a month.

china was alright. not terribly exciting except for the weather which i adored to bits. Beijing was freezing so by the time i hit shanghai, it wasn't horribly cold. it was actually bearable. i do like Beijing a lot better. it's richer in history as compared to shanghai and there were less people around, which meant less pushing and shoving and definitely less smelly.

it's true. people there don't bathe everyday. urgh....

it was nice. to get away and catch up on all that sleep. yes, i slept on the bus all the time. apparantly, my head once hit the window so hard that i startled my younger sister who was sitting behind me. yet, i slept through it. in my brother's words, i went 'slack-jawed for a while' and he thought i might have passed out.

back in singapore, my liver is absolutely hating me from all the parties. i'm a little worn out and sick now. need.. rest...

too many "moments" in the morning. too many times.

i'm tired. the timing of the break cldn't be better. i think. i'll probably miss R's last day at Howl while making out with winter in China. but the time away to take in stress from the family is better than work stress and stress from myself.

just wanna drown myself in music and shut out the world around me. don't need offers of hugs. don't need offers of gobstoppers or assasinations just to make me feel better.

i've got Him. what more can i ask for? ok, fine, ODing on Under Pressure and Ice Ice Baby back to back makes me think of.. nvm. sigh.

suddenly taiwan next year end doesn't sound very tempting anymore. wanna take a trip back to SF. or head over to chicago instead. and pop by the city of Jazz (Kansas City, here i come!).

yes, i'm already discussing hol plans with mouse. beg of may, we'll hit ozzie land and late nov, we're going to US. i just wanna get away even though my flight to the land of peking duck and xiao long baos is just 2 days away. i.. sigh. just having another moment i guess. i need to stop ODing on those two songs. they make me almost sad.

finally updated the stog. but i know a lot of people don't actually go there.. so here's what i updated on there:

Hush

Do you know the Lord that I know?

He's the one who hears you cry

He's the one who watches when you crash and burn

He's the one who lets you fail

He's the one who hears you pray

He's the one that after all is said and done,

Picks you up and holds you His arms

And say,

Hush, my child, get up once more

The world is watching, the world will fall

Things will come and things will go

But I've never left you through it all

Though you falter, though you bleed

Through all your suffering, you will see

I am in control, I've got it all planned

Just see all I've fulfilled, so trust in Me

Do you know the Lord that I know?

He's the one who gives sight

He's the one who healed the sick with His touch

He's the one who drank the cup

The one who bleed at Calvary

The one who lived again that the world may know

That those who love Him may hear Him say

Hush, my child, get up once more
The world is watching, the world will fall
Things will come and things will go
But I've never left you through it all
Though you falter, though you bleed
Through all your suffering, you will see
I am in control, I've got it all planned
Just see all I've fulfilled, so trust in Me

- SK (c)