on generally bad days, i try to close the world out and remember all the good stuff. to make myself feel a little better.

so while making a cup of comforting yuzu cha, i remembered an incident in Seoul.

i was suffering from awful indigestion on the day we went to visit the YG building. looking for relief from the cold and the churning in my tummy, we found a cafe to settle in. with a smiley old lady and her husband.

everyone ordered coffee. how could they not? the couple roasted their own beans. they blended the beautiful beans. i couldn't have any of it. i was feeling down and out. so i settled down by the table where they were preparing the cafe au lait.

i decided on yuzu cha for my stomach. to ease the nausea and churning. and coffee smelt amazing. i was kicking myself inside as i watched the five others sip their coffee happily.

probably also from the feeling of wanting to die, i must have just been sitting there quietly, staring at the couple test out different blends of filtered coffee. my friends were probably in their own world. i don't remember much except for the smell of coffee.

but i won't forget all that happened after that.

the lady looked at me and asked if i liked coffee. i smiled and nodded back. she asked me why i wasn't drinking. i explained in halting korean that my stomach was in pain. she looked at my yuzu cha and nodded. she knew a little english so it wasn't all that bad. then she asked me if the smell made me happy. i could only nod, smiling back at her. i was really contented to sit there all day long, drinking yuzu and smelling coffee. she asked how i liked my coffee.

"americano."

"with sugar?"

"with no sugar."

she nodded with her own grandmotherly smile and returned her attention back to her coffee.

i wasn't paying much attention after a while. because suddenly, she wasn't behind the counter but in front of me. she set a pretty china cup in front of me, half-filled with black coffee. then she said, "no milk. no sugar. best way to drink coffee."

i asked her in korean how much the americano was as we had already made payment for our other drinks. she shook her head. "Free," came her reply in english.

my stomach was miserable and i was nursing such a giddy head. i could feel the tears stinging. but here was a stranger. someone i had met for 30 min at most. offering me a drink. simply because I wasn't well and loved coffee. i swear i'm not kidding when i felt like i was going to cry.

i took a sip of the warm black drink. it was glorious. my stomach didn't agree with it but my tastebuds adored it. it was absolutely fresh and beautiful. and it was a cup made out of love for coffee and a random fellow coffee lover. no strings attached.

i thanked her for the coffee. unfortunately, i was in no state to finish the coffee.

before we left the cafe, i asked for a photo with her. she kindly obliged. when we were looking at the photo, i thanked her again for everything. she gave me a little hug and wished me well.


it's the little things that keep me going when i want to shoot people's heads out to check if they even have a brain. sigh. keep remembering. keep holding on.

I need to stop feeding my face so much.

I need to finally buy a new laptop.

I need to find someone who'll get me my Raclique from Korea (damn you gmarket! You were my one hope!)

I need to question the amount of street wear in my wardrobe.

I need to stop feeding my face so much.

Late night rambles. Simply because my fat face depresses me. Diet starts on Monday. Let's go.

so i've been made to stare into a person's eyes just because momoren wanted to prove that he had a lazy eye..

and now, i'm made to help another momoren decide if he needs a haircut.




these boys are really getting too comfortable with me even though both incidents happened shortly after we've known each other.


i'm slipping back into buddy-zone again.

one day, when i was seriously concentrating on an article at work, my boss popped by my table and asked if i needed coffee. i shook my head with a smile and he asked me again. then he said i looked like i had zoned out.

zoned out????

then it reminded me of GL. whenever he's showing me a new technique or move, i'm studying how his legs pivot and how the punches or kicks swing.. i'm seriously reading his moves and trying to figure out how the punch works and where the kicks land. then he'll ask me if i'm tired out 'cos i look like i'm stoned.

i shared it with my girls. E agreed. she said that when i'm concentrating, i actually look like i'm confused and completely oblivious to what that's happening. and my eyes will widen but turn blank.

it's now known as the D.O look. the wide glassy eye look that seems to glaze over everything even though my head is processing everything.

i can't tell if D.O look is better than my death glares that my colleagues don't like though. hahahaha. something's seriously wrong with me.

Other than being extremely distracted by the golden fluffiness of Taehyung (not even Jimin and that awful drifting tank top can take my attention away), I'm just reminded of how much I miss dancing. I really need to sort out my financials and schedule.. and stop traveling for a while. so i'll actually have the money and be in Singapore to go back to class. sigh.

"你问我来自哪里
笑着回答是秘密
只要是你和我 一起走下去
天堂在随时和随地"


just because I absolutely love Chen's and LuHan's voices.

It's on days like these when I want to disappear from the face of the earth... when You gently remind me that I'm not alone. When You remind me to keep my chin up because of the people You've surrounded me with to keep me smiling despite it all. And no matter how tired and frustrated I am, You are always there, watching me trudge through life's trials and grow more and more in understanding of Your plan for all of us. Thank you. I'm forever grateful.

It's stuff like that which make me wonder why my parents chose to let me learn piano instead of ballet. I would probably be a lot slimmer, given the fact that I would have been sitting on my ass a lot less and doing pirouettes instead.

and it would also mean that I wouldn't be dying every time my coach forces me to stretch into a split during Sunday morning training.

but who knows. maybe if I had been sent for ballet classes, I would be wondering why I wasn't sent for piano lessons.

I do miss dancing. I miss picking up choreographed steps and feeling that sense of accomplishment when I master it.

maybe I should start dancing again. before my rusty bones protest further.



inspired.

went for lunch with the K sisters after church today at TP. then when we were walking to the train station, an elderly couple sitting in the shade near the train stations asked if we could buy them some food for lunch.

it was nearly 3pm by then. the sisters were rushing off so I told them to go ahead and that I would deal with the matter. I turned to the couple and told them that International Plaza should have food and we could head there together. the elderly man thanked me and helped his wife(?) slowly get up and walk. but we had only gone a few steps when the old lady said that she was too tired and that it was too hot so she just wanted to sit. I offered to buy them food but the man rejected the offer with a soft smile, leading the lady back to the shade to rest.

feeling uneasy, I walked quickly over to the plaza. the sun was honestly mad hot. thankfully, there was a deli there so I picked up two chiffon cakes and a bottle of cold water before jogging back to the corner, hoping the couple was still there. thankfully they were and the man had stopped another young couple this time, asking if they could help them buy a bun or something. I figured he had a change of heart so I quickly approached him.

the elderly man looked at me stunned before breaking into a small smile, "you came back."

I smiled back and handed him the two cakes and the water. he took the bag with both hands and bowed, thanking me. the young couple smiled at me and we exchanged brief nods of acknowledgement before I headed back to the train station. I then overheard the young man ask the older man if he still needed more food.


at night, I told my mother about it. she asked me if I ever wondered if the elderly couple was out to con people. I paused and nodded. then I explained that I would rather be conned than to reject someone in real need. she smiled at me and said that the younger couple and I did a good thing today.


let it not be said that we Singaporeans are unkind. as ungracious as majority seem to be, there are always a few gems still sparkling to help make the day a little brighter for others out there. ^-^

so I've been running. a lot.

for a girl who used to hate running and fail her 1.6k PFT runs, doing the sundown marathon was just madness.

there's a new run coming up. the 5k zombie dash aka Race The Dead.


save yourself or have your life flags taken away by zombies.

so my running 'buddies' and I were talking about this very interesting race. I decided it wasn't a run for me.

"i will beat someone up," I related, "like turn around and go 'I KNOW MUAY THAI!! ARRRAAGAAAWWWAARRR!!!' then chase them."

my friend then said she would expect reported casualties the next day.


then we reflected on our own experiences with one another.. which included kicking a person in slumber and also hitting one another during kick boxing class.

we would be disqualified within 1 min of the race 'cos we would be running towards the zombies instead of away from them.

while it would be quite a sight to see zombies running from 3 girls screaming at them, it's our reputations at stake.



so yea. no. i'll stick to KOTR.

chugging on Starbucks soy latte... rummaging through the MCM tote bag... pulling out cards from the Ferragamo wallet...



where's the girl that used to drink kopi-si, only to run to the toilet 'cos she's lactose intolerant... while lugging around her $20 canvas tote from Bugis street?



consumerism at its best. me at my worst. sigh.


at least my clothes aren't from luxury brands with mad price tags.

my friends seem incredibly entertained by my exaggerated expressions over SNS.

then today, before I could use another Line sticker to express my feeling, my friend put one up.

then she said that she could imagine me doing exactly that.


oh well, I've always been animated. despite my attempts to tone it down, my mad friends enjoy my animated outburst.