i might have ruffled feathers with my post on the issue of going for exchange.. didn't expect esp since i did mention that we've gone too far.

lemme just clarify myself. I'm not saying that the people going for exchange are doing the right thing.. i'm not saying that they are doing the wrong thing. it's not for me to decide whether someone's decision was a right or wrong one. 'cos while to me it may seem wrong, the other party may not see it as wrong.

how do we decide what's wrong and right? more than often, we can't. we're mere humans and when we try to rank stuff, we tend to fall back onto the man-made yardstick. we're not perfect. all we can do is do the thing that pleases God the most.. which for me would be protecting the gospel by guarding it and preaching it.

which is why i chose not to go for exchange. i would not be able to serve the gospel as well as i would if i remained in smucf. it's the only fellowship i have right now where i'm encouraged by fellow christians. i'm a servant of the gospel, not cf. it just so happens that God provided me with this family, SMUCF, to serve. and thus, my decision to stay. thus me going for exchange would be a wrong decision to make.

if everyone leaves for exchange, no doubt i will be disappointed.. i would naturally feel left behind. yet i also see it as a chance for me to test my endurance for the gospel. i will not walk away from a decision i've made. can i expect this from others? i can hope for it, but i cannot expect it. we all have different perspectives. God provides, i have no doubt abt it. He provides leaders. He also provides assurance that the gospel thrives with or without (and i dare say this) SMUCF.

would i have the peace of mind to walk away from serving the gospel thru the means of SMUCF? nope. esp not now when so many wish to go for exchange. my confidence is not in smucf for if it were, it's grossly misplaced. my confidence is in the gospel. that when the exchange grp leaves, i will remain and ensure that when they return, the partnership in the gospel is still ever present. i would love for them to remain in s'pore and continue in this partnership. can i force them? i can. will i force them?

i won't.

i don't want people to serve because they feel obligated to the CF. i want them to serve because they feel obligated to God. i don't want people to serve because they are told to. I want people to serve because they want to. what joy will you derive from serving something where your heart is not in?

am i saying that the people going for exchange don't have their heart in the right place? no. I'm saying that if I go for exchange, it's my own heart that's not in the right place. others have their own reason for going for exchange. if i do, it's just for the love of travel. but my love for God surpasses that so i will stay behind and serve Him by continuing my role as a leader. my hunger for travel can be satisfied in other ways and i will do so in those ways, i.e. traveling for a week or 2.

will i ruffled more feathers? perhaps. but i hope not to. we've spent far too much energy on this topic. while it's certainly an issue, how impt is it? my dears, we've gone thru bigger issues and we stuck together. why not now?

i'm just praying that people will reflect on their actions and how it affects others. for some, they anger and frustrate people. for others, they disappoint people. i haven't changed from my stand though. if you do have the peace of mind to walk away for that one term, go ahead. i'll be here protecting the gospel until my dear brothers and sisters return. just hope i'm not doing this alone.