Scenario 1: a man gets bumped by a pram being pushed by another man as the latter hurries to jaywalk. the former yells out a slur of vulgarities on the top of his lungs at the other, including, "are you educated? can't you see it's a red man?"

yelling man proceeds to jaywalk after a few seconds, causing a girl behind him to burst out laughing at how ridiculous the whole scene is.

scene 2: a man is trying to get assurance that his phone is fixed at a phone shop. the repair man assures him politely that it is and that even the battery has been changed. the man kicks up a fuss about having to travel all the way to the phone shop. the repair man again politely points out that all issues have been taken care of. the man then aggressively retorts, "how can you talk to me like that? I'm the customer!"

after 2 seconds, the man angrily remarks that the "back" button is not working. to which the repair man replies politely, "you are at the 'home' screen. there is nothing to 'go back' to."



in both scenarios, the two rather unreasonable men (in my opinion) are Singaporeans. two being 'wronged' are Singaporeans as well. has our culture been depraved to the point where being educated means that you are entitled to a wealth of respect and service beyond your wildest imagination? does being educated mean that you are better and deserve more than someone serving you?

does being educated mean that one becomes ungracious? does it mean you can be demanding and that the world has to kowtow to you?

I know of a elderly lady who has perfect speech and an almost perfect life. her house is beautiful and every fortnight or every month, she donates a beautiful floral arrangement to her church altar. she bakes and gives to her church people.

at home, her maid responds to the ringing of the bell and is scolded for the smallest things. the maid lives on bread while the dog gets steamed fish, boiled meat, and rice. and she says it's because, "she's just a maid, you cannot be nice to people like that or they will walk all over you."

i don't think i've ever been angered so badly by such hypocrisy in a person. are domestic helpers not humans? are they not entitled to basic human rights such as respect? are service staff not allow a semblance of kindness and humanity? is not the man on the street just as human as another is??


when the light feels a little dim, I try to make a little difference. my thank-yous are a little brighter and heartfelt. I buy snacks for my hairdresser. I smile and say good morning to the elderly on their morning walks around my neighborhood. I try to help people who approach me on the streets for directions as much as I can, even if it means taking a detour from my original path to walk the person through the maze of traffic lights and making sure they reach their destination. I laugh and chat with service staff if their schedules permit for it when I know they are looking worn out and tired.

it's not very different from how I would treat my friends.. it's just generally how I feel people should be cared for.

even more for service staff. they are on their feet and serving us. they run their rounds. they deal with difficult people and are generally taken for granted. for far too long, people have had the notion that "the customer is king" and being king means you can be unreasonable and demand for your feet to be kissed just because there's money coming out of your pockets.

"And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slavee of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” - Mark 10:42-45

where is humility and grace in this world? where is kindness, patience, and love? has it just given way to self-entitlement, ego, pride, and self-idolatry?


as much as I say I hate people, I don't. I hate the way that people feel that the world centers around them. I hate the way they think that they deserve more and better than others without wanting to give in return.

the depravity of man. really sobering and horrifying. :(

when i'm not trying to clear my backlog of books (both in the shelf and ipad. don't even get me started on the 16 books I just bought to make my kindle backlog at an impressive 21 books..), i'm rolling around the internet looking for entertainment.

i'm barely on facebook now because people can just be idiots that don't want to be told that they are idiots. or i'm not that close to tell them to suck it up and shut up. my one main link to my facebook is my instagram where I like to share little things that mean something to me. or events that people invite me to. guess where all the wedding invites / baby showers / whatever-birthday-party invites are at now? and then there are the friends i've made who are all overseas.

so yea, won't be deleting my fb account any time soon.

so, I find myself on tumblr more. on pinterest. on instagram. places where I choose what I see and who I see. I unbashedly unfollow and follow people according to my whims and fancy. things don't annoy me as much. probably helps that majority of these people are strangers so I don't sit and go, "how the hell did I tolerate you back in school?" in my mind when scrolling past posts.

and the tumblr community has little gems.. little nuggets of gold that I appreciate.


          No, friendship is NOT about “supporting your friends even when you know they’re wrong.”

          That’s not friendship. That’s being an enabler. That’s being an accomplice.

          Friendship is loving someone enough to tell them to stop being an idiot.


so tumblr is more than just kpop, interior design, and fashion for me. it's so much more. :) grateful for these little things that remind me that people aren't as stupid as I think they are.

so I had a talk with a friend about BGR recently. and she said something that just left me unimpressed and worried.

“a girl should find a guy who will love her more than she loves him. she needs to protect herself.”

protect herself? from? from being hurt? from heartaches when the guy doesn’t deliver? from pain when she realizes that she’s given more of herself than the guy has in the relationship?

i stared at her and told her, “we love not because of the love we will receive in return. we love because God first loved us. love is a response to God, not conditional on man.”

she tried to explain herself and somewhere in the middle of it, i was exasperated when i stared at her.

“love is not selfish! love is kind and patient. love is good and love will hurt you because it is supposed to give without asking for anything in return.”

i was pretty much dying through the conversation. much like this:

by the end of the night, we both agreed that it is human nature to want to protect ourselves. no one wants to be hurt. no one wants to feel pain. it’s a natural instinct to seek security. and then i reminded her, “that’s why i’m single.”


For me to want to be in a relationship... He's got to be a big deal.

I've lived life alone for so long. I've depended on myself. Made decisions for and by myself. Plus that one experience I had...

The next one has to be a big deal for me to want to no longer want to be single. I'm not asking for expensive gifts or for his attention 24/7.

All I ask is for a selfless man who will consider others before him. I want a man who looks out for others. I want a man who will love because God loves, not because of the love he'll receive in return for his love.

of course it would be extremely nice if he's someone who will be there with a hug when the day is bad or at least over the phone, not distracted by other things (surfing, online shows..) on days when I just need a listening ear.

I need to know that this man will be worth giving up the singlehood that I’be been so comfortable with to give him my all in the relationship.

If not, I'd much rather be single. really.

어디니?

뭐하니?

밥은 먹었니?

넌 잘 지내니?

so much for all the Korean classes I've gone for. enunciation still clearly needs more work since I'm still struggling with script.

The concert on 31 May was explosive. from the slow sensual ones ("Coffee Shop" and "Body & Soul"), to the hip hop songs ("Badman", "One Shot", "Warrior") ... even to the cheeky ass "Crash" and "Dancing in the Rain".

not forgetting "Check On" which was just so incredibly funny.

and now they are still making my heart ache so badly with "어디니? 뭐하니?"




Why B.A.P? Why you so amazing??

"You become a champion by fighting one more round.

When things are tough, you fight one more round." - James J. Corbett

there's something about him. forever classic... forever evergreen... forever drawing you in with his addictive beats and vocals... forever making you want to smile and dance nary a care in the world... truly an amazing earworm

i need to dance dance dance dance dance.

你小小的翅膀 就要向我飞翔
看到你挥挥手要我过来你身旁
那可怜的目光 那故事太迷茫
就在那天晚上吹进我的心已收藏

不停想你的可爱模样 著迷的我 就连灵魂都在為你牵掛
就像醉了一样 连呼吸都遗忘
如果这就是爱 愿意跟你到远方

闪著泪光 我真不忍心 眼看著你受伤
就算一秒或是到永远也好 我都确定方向

So Baby Don’t Go
带我到会有你的地方 永远都在一起走
我们要一起飞到世界的最中心
你就在我的眼裡 哪裡都飞不出去
跟我走 你就不会消失或失踪
就像梦过的你 你是我生命 那个美丽蝴蝶

不管从哪里来 不管到哪里去
你总围绕著还会 对着我眨眼睛
沿路会有弯曲 也请你别焦急
因为爱我想什么都不需要去担心

请看看我 别躲开爱情
我一直记得你的美
爱悄悄的来到 来不及预告
爱正在进行 正准备好出发

你的回忆 连以后都会充满我的足跡
藏在脑海裡感到特别开心变成爱的密码

So Baby Don’t Go
带我到会有你的地方 永远都在一起走
我们要一起飞到世界的最中心
你就在我的眼裡 哪裡都飞不出去
跟我走 你就不会消失或失踪
就像梦过的你 你是我生命 那个美丽蝴蝶

站在街头 陌生又熟悉
就算迷了路也清晰
我会跟著我的心 因為你是我的依归
就像风 随你到处遨游 贴著风 随你路线去走
我相信爱就在我手中

So Baby Don’t Go
带我到会有你的地方 永远都在一起走
我们要一起到世界的尽头
你就在我眼中从不曾飞走
跟我走 你就不会消失或失踪
就像梦过的你 你是我生命 那个美丽蝴蝶


never thought this song would take on a different meaning at this point but i'm clinging onto hope so badly right now. just clinging on so badly.

After a mad frustrating day, I left work to get to my granny's. As I stepped off the train, Super Junior was trying to convince me through "miracle" that "life will get better".

I wanted to laugh at the timing when I glanced to the side and lo and behold... a ghost from the past was there. A very good looking ghost. He had always been an eye candy, especially during that one very trying period.

I looked skyward and smiled.

Well played, big guy, well played.

Even if my heart's still beating just for you
I really know you are not feeling like I do
And even if the sun is shining over me
How come I still freeze?
- CNBLUE's Teardrops in the Rain (Lee Jonghyun)

his enunciation was so amazing last night at the concert. it wasn't "how come I still fee" like when he first recorded but "how come I still freeze" last night. His vocals completely blew me away last night, including how ridiculously charismatic he was whenever he was jamming on the electric guitar.

when he opted for the acoustic guitar, I had a feeling he was going to play this very song. and oh goodness, that amazing amazing boy did not let me down. to hear it playing on my playlist is one thing. to hear his beautiful vulnerable voice live is just... absolutely amazing. pure goosebumps inducing and heart-meltingly sad.

Lee Jonghyun, thank you.

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home
- ONEREPUBLIC "Come home"

sweet. simple. just K.Will melting hearts all over the world with his voice, his song, and his pretty MV scenes in "You Don't Know Love".

of course it helps that it's Park Chanyeol in the MV but still, K.Will. ^-^

perfect proposal method, if you ask me. absolutely perfect.