this is a little smth from Vie (publication by smusa) a while back... by a writer called Gem. an interesting and entertaining read. enjoy!

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i must admit, i am a victim of mistreatment. my boyfriend treates me like dirt under this shoes. he casually forgets our appointments; he picks fights over little things; he sms-es as most once a day and acts as if it costs him a pint of blood and a leg; he declares a take-it or leave-it ultimatum to any of my requests.

and sending back the feminist movement back by a century, i swallow and take it.

my friends tell me to drop the no-good sleazebag and get a better guy. "but i don't want anyone else," i whine, "i just want him to treat me better."

"you want him to worship the ground you walk on," natalie corrects me. she tosses her long re-bonded hair over her shoulders. "it's just our basic right as women."

slim, pretty, and most of all, a complete manipulator when it comes to relationships, natalie declares that by the time i complete her maneuvers, the boyfriend wld be eating out of my hand. wide-eyed, i listen attentively as the master began her lessons.

1. thou shall keep him waiting
whenever the boyfriend messages me, i never fail to reply within 5 mins. the nice girl in me didn't want to keep him waiting for a reply. "don't be too eager to respond to him," natalie says sternly, "if you take an hour to reply, he will be left wondering what you were busy with. it shows that you have other entertainment apart from him. it shows that maybe you aren't waiting around for him."

she asks me who puts down the phone first in a conversation. i say it's always him. i always want to talk to him and any amount of tiredness i feel disappears when i hear his voice. she is horrifed. "girl, you have to put the phone down first! mentally, it puts you in control and stirs up longing for you. do it and i guarantee he will go to bed thinking of you."

2.thou shall not get mad
whenever i get angry with him, my first instinct is to yell at him and fling accusations. during times when i feel neglected, i accuse him of losing interest. he, however, instead of arguing back, becomes very quiet. he says he is disappointed and hurt that i would think this way. it completely puts me on a defensive. instead of being angry with him, now i am the one trying to explain myself. "aha!" natalie proclaims. "excellent! see what he does? he's turning the tables on you. while you are the one looking like some drooling, bulging-eyed psycho screaming at him for smth he obviously has done wrong, he waits until you accuse him of smth, then quietly sniffs that he is wounded."

"males are born with an instinct to protect; it satisfies their egos. while nagging will just irk them, going all misty-eyed and sounding like your heart was breaking into a thousand pieces will arouse the fierce protectiveness in them. it won't hurt either if you can baby talk. so remember the best time you want your man to change a certain behavior, don't get mad. don't get even. just let your voice tremble and sound like he stabbed you thru the heart."

3.thou shall blow hot and cold
"now this move is the ultimate killer. do it properly and you will have him begging," her eyes shining from excitement as she shared her secret. "one wk, be very nice to him, establish a routine where you call and message at certain times a day. he will probably feel very smug and secure as you shower him with a lot of attention. he will get used to the routine of you contacting him at fixed periods of time and come to expect it. the second wk, stop it! it will throw him off balance. he will be glancing at his cell phone, pregnant with expectation, but nothing comes! we are creatures of habit. this will definitely confuse him. have you lost interest? have you found someone else? it keeps him guessing. it makes him want you more."

but i don't want to play mind games, i whine. "do you want him to worship you or not?" she demands, eyes blazing. i shrink back and nod mutely.

so on that very day, he messaged me at 2.17 pm. i tried to count an hour. i really did. i crossed my ankles and my fingers flutter nervously over the buttons. i force myself to count the numbers of pimples on my face, after what seemed like an eternity, i look at the screen again.

2.27 pm. 50 more min to go before i reply. my eyes roll heavenwards and i count aloud to a hundred. it does not seem like it was going to be an hour anytime soon.

finally, i cldn't take it. my fingers dance over the buttons and i hit the "send" button. 15 mins this time. at least it's an improvement over my usual 5 min. well, it was quite torturous. but then he replies. my eyes widen. he said he misses me.

i am in glee. look what 15 min did to provoke such an unusually sweet sms. now imagine if it were 90 min..