Time Out

seriously edgy and burnt out now.. i don't know.. it's like a whole shitload of stress bundling up in me, just coursing through my body and making me very irritable. a sign to take time out to read the bible instead of doing shit? i guess.

even cutting my hair isn't working. it felt terrific (yesh, it's short again after a long time).. for the period i hung around town after my hair cut. then i told myself i had to get home to work. guess what? i'm still not in the mood to do anything. i've done what i can do for ais.. still got corp reporting and fin left. haven't even consolidated my interview with jtc to send out to my mpw mates. and i'm here blogging. the irony of it all.

and playtunes.net is not working tonight.. somehow. and it's really bleeping me out. what's bleeping? i don't know.. some word i can't think of but the best word to describe me now. bleep bleepity bleeping tired. i shld copyright the bleepings.. but anywayz, playtunes.net is not working. what does that mean? no stevie wonder. a further tosser fact is that Singapore ain't on the list of countries amazon.com sends to. how then am i to get my hands on the box set from stevie wonder? bleeping tossers. and yes, i like the word "tosser". no particular meaning but i like how it rolls off my tongue when i'm bleeping pissed. ok, bleeping is my word. i'm copyrighting it here.

but yes. no stevie wonder tonight. 'cept maybe "true to your heart" but it's got 98 degrees on it. spoils the whole feel of stevie wonder. i want the box set! (ready to throw a never seen before tantrum) and it's 11.15pm now.. estivo is closed. and i don't feel like taking more coffee or tea and alcohol's not a solution tonight. i'm whining. pissed.. very bad "me me me" blog tonight.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." -Phi 4:12-13

i used take comfort in the words of Paul. but tonight, "doing everything" doesn't seem to be working. the sad songs aren't working tonight either. and it's really hard to find some alone time even in a 3-storey house. bleeping tosser.

the sun will rise tomorrow, come what may

and you'll feel better than you do today

and in time you'll cry no more

i know 'cos my heart's been there before

and here i am when you need someone

my shoulder's yours to cry upon

everybody, now and then,

needs an understanding friend around

So don't shut me out

- Keith Urban "Don't Shut Me Out"

i had a dream. that i was sleeping in someone's arms. and his hands were holding onto mine. yesh, attack of the "hand" dreams again. and it's funny how i would have felt uncomfortable to be in that position in reality. but he feels like the song personified. sign of my stress and the longing for that someone to give me that security from the stressed out me. give me that man and he'll never be shut out.. ever.